Thursday 7 January 2021

Lead Us Away From (Pseudo) Righteousness

 Hidden within

The illusory omnipotence

Of a technological

Bastion

Shame & fear-filled

Warriors

Battle

For nano-second

Scraps

of

Immortality


They hack & slash

To leave

In their wake

Collateral damage

In the form

Of characters

Assassinated

Row upon row


Theirs

To hear it 

Told

Is the path

of

Righteousness

They 

Proclaim

In them

"We" have

Humanity's champions


Altruism & selfless concern

Their 

Battle cry

Their science

The Truth & the Way

(Only their science)

They will claim

To be your saviour

And crucify you

In 

The same breath

If

You dare speak

Contrary to 

Their dogmatic

Idolatry


Theirs

A selective

And perverse

Variety 

of

"Compassion"


God 

Wrap them

In the 

Mantle

of

Your

Love & Peace


How many

Must

Anguish

Suffer

&

Die

To 

Appease

The insatiable

Fear

Of 

The 

Self proclaimed 

Paragons

of

Virtue?


R. O'Neill (January 07, 2021)

Tuesday 5 January 2021

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Man's Self-Loathing

 Woeful

Is life's

Walk

For the 

Man

Who 

Balks

At denying

Himself

The 

Childhood 

He never

Had


Don't speak

Of

World view

Steeped 

In self-pity

Or

A victim's

Lament


Injustice

Neglect

Abuse

Need be

Rightly affirmed

Voices

Paralyzed

And

Exiled

Must be 

Liberated


Pain excised

Self-destructive

Rage

Brought 

Safely

To light

Where 

Unmet 

Needs

Can be 

Acknowledged

Energy redirected


Love's

Transformative

Grief

Must freely

Be allowed

To 

Unfold

Through 

It's cyclic 

Seasons


An 

End to

Blame

Shame

Guilt

 

But 


A travesty

Most profound

Is 

Committed 

When 

Journey

To 

Reveal

Completeness 

Is

By-passed


The 

Child

That isn't

Afforded

That 

Subsequent 

Opportunity 

To 

Be assured

Of

His

Worth

Cherished

As 

Life itself


Wholly 

Completely

Welcomed

Inclusively

Home


Is

Destined

To 

Wander

The earth

Among

The walking

Wounded

Believing

There

Are 

Only

Two choices

Attack 

or 

Be attacked


He 

Need not

Wonder

If 

There exists

A Hell

For 

He 

Has never

Seen

Beyond

It's 

Horizon


R. O'Neill (January 05, 2021)

Monday 4 January 2021

Make a Sacred Noise

 The following, and perhaps anything I write subsequent to this, is an absolute act of defiance! Of what, you might say? I'm glad you asked, I will lay it out for you. To write, to call myself a writer - If my hands could choke, they'd being doing just that, pertaining to the last proclamation; to sit down face a blank page and proceed to engage with it, in the face of my own bellowing self-doubt, scathing self-criticism and an occasional smouldering self-loathing; that I haven't managed to entirely extinguish, is defiance of the highest order. I write without any assurance of readership, without fame, fortune or credential. I have no editor, publisher, contract or commission and yet I write. I'm not a household word anywhere but my own household, and even there, seldom is my name uttered. I live alone, there is no one to offer praise, consolation, or consternation, though I personally, have the condemnation angle, completely sewed up! 

There will be no royalty check, no movie deal, no late night talk show circuit - still I insist, I will write. Would it make any difference if I went unheard and unexpressed - I'm damned if I know! But I'm led to believe mine is a unique world view, life experience and perspective. I have been bestowed a particular set of gifts and talents, not just for my amusement or dismissal; but because there are those, that are to be served, by whatever it is I'm meant to dish up. So though there are forces within me, that wake me regularly in the middle of the night, just so I can hear the cacophony of my own thoughts, among them voices that conspire to stifle my voice. To discredit it, devalue it, dismiss it and assure me I will suffer a most abysmal humiliation if I dare utter a word. "You're washed up, a has been - without ever having been, who the fuck do you think you are -  nobody that's who!! And nobody is going to listen to "Nobody.." However, there are also those forces that have me relentlessly seeking the spiritual answer having long since been convinced the accumulation of stuff is pointless - I just haven't mustered the focus, backbone and a shovel to dig myself out yet.

My response - I don't just utter a word, I spew them by the dozens and dozens and dozens. I defy the afore mentioned inner "committee of assholes" - I have nothing to lose, I have known utter shame, isolation, rejection & abuse; I don't bid them welcome - but neither do I cower in fear of their arrival.

I defy a need to matter, relevance - mass approval, I can no longer, enslave myself to these dictates. I'm closer to the age my "society," would have me put out to pasture. To that notion I say, fuck that! To all those seniors retirement living corporations, spreading across the landscape like a plague, lying in wait to drain life savings, of all that walk through their doors, guess what - no life savings, I'm not knocking myself out to feather any corporate coffers. So while my well-heeled contemporaries are sitting around the fire, sipping imported brandy and regaling each other, with stories of their lives, I suppose, I will be God knows where, still writing the story of mine.

I'll be the first one to admit, my rebelliousness hasn't always paved me a smooth path. This defiance now is a different animal. It has been forged over a life time - it knows the taste of kissing ass, and has found, the results leave, much to be defied! It is sick and tired of serving everything except, what its God given soul, was created for. "Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir......" - how about, have a nice tall steaming cup of, "please sir, how about, fuck you and the horse you rode into town on! See that's the energy I need to direct into creative pursuits - it's not as though I envision running around the rest of my life, being belligerent (except on those occasions when the need arises to emphasize a point) 

It takes no integrity or fortitude to follow the crowd - I should know, I followed enough of them trying to have them bestow, what was never theirs to give in the first place. It takes massive energy and guts to raise something out of nothing - in the face of all those bleating naysayers.

I don't write to gather an audience (well at least not anymore) I don't even insist I have something that anyone else needs to hear. But I know with ever cell and fibre in my body, that I pay dearly for my silence. I defy anyone, especially me to muzzle me any further. It is a divine defiance I court - I know not where it's heading - though me thinkst that it shan't be dull.

R. O'Neill (January 04, 2021)

Sunday 3 January 2021

Respond-ability

How

Can there

Be 

Peace

When

You insist

On

Experiencing

Conflict?


Will you

Feed 

The insatiable

Maw

of

Fear?


Or 

Fan  

An inferno

From

The flames

of

Love?


Will you

Seek

Love

or

To 

Find fault?


Which 

Commands

The

Lion's share

of

Your attention....

Giving Love

or

Seeking

For yourself?


Is

What you

Are about

To Convey

Loving

To yourself

or 

Another?


Have 

You considered

That

What is 

Missing 

From 

Any situation

Is 

That which 

You 

Haven't brought?


R. O'Neill (January 03, 2021)

 

Saturday 2 January 2021

Stepping Up

 How 

Many ideas

Must 

First be

Removed

In 

Order to

Yield

Anything worth

Saying?


How 

Much time

Is

Adequate

To 

Acknowledge

The 

Utter sadness

of

A life

Robbed

of

Vitality

by

Lies 

Deception?


When 

Does

Your fear

Become

My incarceration?

How

Long 

Do you

Imagine

I will

Leave

You 

With

The key?


I

Look

To 

The horizon

And 

Beyond

See nothing

Of 

Hero

Worthy

Of 

My life


It 

Has been

Said

Did

You 

Catch it?

There

Is 

No more!



R. O'Neill (January 02, 2021)