I seem to have a couple of threads continuing to present - so perhaps my want to resume writing once again (for today) need look no further for a focal point. Are they related? Maybe. Does it matter? Not to me; and I am the writer, creative director, editor and if you'd seen one of my social media posts today it would affirm, head chef and I can assure you, bottle washer.
I was privy to the suggestion not so long ago, that "the answer" is in the steps! From this foundational supposition, I would say, indeed it might answer something and the selective myopathy, might be indicative of someone that dearly hopes that is true for themselves and or is intent for now in the conclusion "this is it."
Of course to some practicing Christians, the answer could range from declaring Jesus Christ, to be your saviour, the adaptation of a number of covenants and creeds, missionary works - from that orchard - I am exploring: "loving my neighbour as myself" (the as myself as presented as a weak link), taize chanting, contemplative prayer and at times the "Lord's Prayer." Is it "the answer?" Interestingly, it does provide something at times when I haven't even necessarily articulated a question.
Now then, I attended a Zhikr a week or so ago... first time ever. I gather there are different paths. Loosely it's a Sufi practice (mystical arm of Islam) involving chanting the name of God (Allah) which I gather number 99. Certainly a lovely evening. Absolutely a path that offers a great deal more depth than I could hope to reflect on having gone once. "The answer?" Based on my particular needs that evening. I can say it definitely met needs of connection, inclusion, love acceptance, sharing, insight - pretty good I'd say for a couple hours practice.
Now as you may recall, Bob Dylan indicated, the "answer is blowing in the wind."
Clearly, if that was all that required to answer all of life's quandaries we could all just get a kite and face the wind.
Of course I have at one time or another, had someone suggest I do just that... "ah go fly a kite!!" (a not as expletive rich way, of answering the question, of how to be rid of the problem, of me).
There are dozens and dozens of further examples of that which is considered to be the source of all the answers.
There are those that would arrive at their answers through mathematics or physics. That would not be my approach. I'm still bewildered by the prospect of trying to figure out when the train arrives in Denver, from Boston etc,
With no disrespect intended, I am reminded that with too narrow a focus, to a hammer, everything looks, like a nail.
I mentioned earlier, a want to resume writing. One might conclude if you want to write, then write! Fair play! As with many things, writing is a practice and it requires some form of discipline. I didn't use to consider either was true for me. I would just sit down and write. Perhaps that was my "free pass." There has been a considerable "dry spell." I guess I'll never no whether I could have been writing through that period of time, just that I didn't. So now I consider I was focusing on a range of variants that were in the way of my writing.
From some schools of thought it was a matter of "lack" of discipline. And as above there are a number of perspectives that could be applied to the same question.
What I know to be true for me now is certainly in order to express through my love of writing I need to show up through some consistency. Consistency could be seen as a form of discipline. I also consider that the parts of me that are integral to my writing are apt to go into "hiding" if they are subject to punitive, harsh, hyper-critical energies. So "discipline" that reflects anything of that sort is not conducive to writing occurring.
For me allowing myself to write is an act of love. The source of that writing responds to a loving welcome and invitation. I don't subscribe to such metaphors with regard to writing as, "bleeding on the page or anything of the sort." I respect those that frame their process that way. But, it is not for me. I cannot be brow-beaten or otherwise generally terrorized into "productivity.." In fact I choose not to subject myself to "producing on demand." There are enough influences of a patriarchal, hyper-industrialized capitalistic world out there - I aim to reduce (optimally eliminate) showing up as the tyrant of my own soul.
I acknowledge that for some, the "boot-camp" approach will yield for them their desired outcome. I also acknowledge, that I feel I'm moving toward the development of what I called recently: compassionate consistency. I can see where consistently showing up, in some areas of my life, is a growing edge - to do so, would potentially bring me, more of the results that are pleasing to me. To allow this, would be perhaps every bit as compassionate and self-loving; as ensuring that I don't drive myself to hard, succumb to perfectionist expectations, and self-admonishment.
It has been said, that the answer is inherently held, within the question.
I believe due consideration and respect must be given to, what is the question and who is asking it.
R. O'Neill (November 22, 2019)
