What if anything is the significance of these arbitrarily established holidays? Today (Friday) begins the "long weekend" of October - Thanksgiving. One of the many annual events that is treated as license for excess. A brief look at the history of the holiday informs me that there is nothing I align with in terms of its origins except, the theme of appreciation.
My observance of events that elicit a collective response throughout society has over the years drifted to an air of simplicity as I continue to search within myself for a meaningful relationship with life itself (not just these proclaimed "high days and holy days").
I renounce engagement in activities that revolve around elevating a "celebration" into a highly stressful event - where any number of people come together out of obligation and due to the nature of their relating year round the holiday pilgrimages are strained at best and can become rather volatile on many levels. Too much expectation is placed on these few days. Too much expense. Too much consumption. Too much unconsciousness. It is not my aim to cast myself as the scrutineer of holidays past, present and future - I can honour and bless for each their choice of observance.
For me there is a need to restore the sacred into the day, in other words put the "holy" back in the "holi-days." Having said that, I'm not an advocate for a particular religious observance nor am I suggesting this sacred resurgence be restricted to only certain days in the calendar year. If more sacred observance and appreciation were brought to everyday - it would be a different world. I know this as this is how I walk in the world. This is the change I wish to see in the world. This is, who I am.
I may or may not find myself in the company of anyone on this occasion, immediate family have transitioned "to the other side" so there will be no "family gathering." I can appreciate their absence and presence in my life and the ongoing impact upon the shaping of who I am becoming. Where there is sadness I can appreciate a heart that feels so deeply the "slings and arrows" of life along with elation for an experience of life that cannot be contained within a Hallmark greeting or upon the grandest dining room table.
I know I will not hunger, not on any level, for that I have the most profound appreciation. The food, the shopping, the football games, the parades etc. - none of it matters (unless you want to make it matter then, let it be so). It's all there for the taking, unimaginable abundance - therefore the only place scarcity could possible exist is in the form of imagination. I'm not about to debate whether the "fish and loaves" event actually occurred, but just as I wrote the previous I got that the parable most certainly could represent that where there appears to be inadequate resources, look again, deeply and completely, "miraculously" there is more than meets the eye - more than "enough."
For this I give thanks!
Friday, 9 October 2015
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
Write-fully So!
Attention to the "craft" of writing has once again surpassed thirty consecutive days. Not of itself, unique for me - but it is part of an over all intention to keep right on writing. I wasn't born with a passion to write, at least not that I recall. As school subjects go "English" was one in which I achieved consistently good grades (without even trying) - which was a hallmark criteria for me while attending school, as for the most part, I wasn't interested in being there and certainly couldn't imagine why I would exert myself in the absence of said interest. I was an enthusiastic reader and no one ever had to hold my feet to the fire for this to occur - so perhaps these represent some natural proclivities and developmental means that have asserted themselves later in my life. Still there has been no "formal education - i.e. art's degree or journalism school (not that I haven't grasped at this very fact when in search for fodder to assail myself with to demonstrate just cause for certain failure). Nothing has changed regarding acquiring these credentials, the difference is I choose to ignore this and deepen my resolve to write.
I certainly can't predict where this intention to write will lead me, I'm sure it will be augmented by my natural curiosity about the world around me and a long-standing eye for introspection. I've also most of my life had what some might deem an intolerance for mystery. Even though this has softened some, truth compels me. Given these qualities I don't foresee ever running out of things to write about. I am therefore of the mind that as this has become my intention; I will let writing be my teacher, inspiration my invited and sacred guest. I have systematically or perhaps constitutionally run out of reasons "not to write."
The beautiful thing about this new mindset is that neither approval, "education" or even readers is necessary to write - minimally all I require is paper and a pen or pencil. In a pinch I could carve into any yielding surface, whatever it is I feel called to write. So far I've yet to encounter restricted access to writing tools From here on it is then up to me to provide the will and engage form relationship and establish harmony with, all that I encounter which interferes, erodes or disrupts that will. Am I guaranteed income, acclaim or awards? Most certainly not! Are any of the a fore mentioned reasons just cause to quit writing? Well, anything can be made to be justifiable - if my intention is to write and I derive joy and fulfillment in doing so, then these are the soul reason (pun intended) for continuance.
So far my lifestyle seems to require income so I have a need to attend to that in some fashion. As for its bearing on my choice or ability to write (along with those other factors already mentioned) - No, they are irrelevant! Even if I was to injure what is primarily my "writing hand" - "handedness" is not a deal-breaker, I am effectively ambidextrous so the show must go on!
I was born to write - through writing I can be reborn again and again. Where I once hid in reading, I am revealed newly upon the blank page, each a portal to vast new frontiers and exploration.
I certainly can't predict where this intention to write will lead me, I'm sure it will be augmented by my natural curiosity about the world around me and a long-standing eye for introspection. I've also most of my life had what some might deem an intolerance for mystery. Even though this has softened some, truth compels me. Given these qualities I don't foresee ever running out of things to write about. I am therefore of the mind that as this has become my intention; I will let writing be my teacher, inspiration my invited and sacred guest. I have systematically or perhaps constitutionally run out of reasons "not to write."
The beautiful thing about this new mindset is that neither approval, "education" or even readers is necessary to write - minimally all I require is paper and a pen or pencil. In a pinch I could carve into any yielding surface, whatever it is I feel called to write. So far I've yet to encounter restricted access to writing tools From here on it is then up to me to provide the will and engage form relationship and establish harmony with, all that I encounter which interferes, erodes or disrupts that will. Am I guaranteed income, acclaim or awards? Most certainly not! Are any of the a fore mentioned reasons just cause to quit writing? Well, anything can be made to be justifiable - if my intention is to write and I derive joy and fulfillment in doing so, then these are the soul reason (pun intended) for continuance.
So far my lifestyle seems to require income so I have a need to attend to that in some fashion. As for its bearing on my choice or ability to write (along with those other factors already mentioned) - No, they are irrelevant! Even if I was to injure what is primarily my "writing hand" - "handedness" is not a deal-breaker, I am effectively ambidextrous so the show must go on!
I was born to write - through writing I can be reborn again and again. Where I once hid in reading, I am revealed newly upon the blank page, each a portal to vast new frontiers and exploration.
Tuesday, 6 October 2015
What a Wonderful Life
I began my day reading a text message "that something wonderful will happen today." Well to begin with, I woke up to read the text, if that weren't the case then something wonderful might well happen (maybe that would have been it) however, I'm not sure at what level or if, I would be aware of the wondrous event. Beyond that I'm not sure that I the "I" I've grown accustomed to referencing everything from, would still exist? At that point I'm apt to have a different set of parameters with which to define "wonderful," or perhaps, there would be no parameters and this in itself, is the cause of wonder I can't even begin to grasp, as even when I catch a glimpse of more spaciousness, that part of my mind which is the self-proclaimed manager of defining, categorizing, analyzing, assigning, associating, rationalizing, misrepresenting, simplifying, dismissing, diminishing, minimizing, segregating, eliminating, proclaiming, guesstimating, asserting etc. attempts to rush in and just as space on this page was consumed by this description, so then is the vast space of the unknown reduced.
I came into town in part to complete a couple of errands and I considered that something wonderful might not knock at my door, I might need to take myself out into the world where I am more accessible. Not necessarily an absolute - I suppose my being accessible isn't strictly speaking, dictated by where I am, shall we say, geographically. Accessible (open) is more defined by a decision, not just a one time decision, though it could be, rather, a recognition of choice throughout the day that a decision can be made at any moment to be open, curious, willing to experience something unique.
It's interesting to notice that don't particularly need to let go of expectations about what shape this wonderful event might take, as I largely don't have any. I'm open, I consider myself of ample worth, I just don't know what to think. Truly something unforeseen has often been a source of wonder to me. How would I know exactly what might happen that would "blow my mind." If something were to happen outside my "experience" how could I preconceive of it?
Of course the wonderful something that was foretold to me might have nothing to do with me. Perhaps she that planted the seed in the first place is to be the recipient. Maybe this is to occur within her family circle, maybe this is to occur at the community level, nationally or internationally, interplanetary, intergalactically. It might have nothing to do with me or everything.
Maybe I was being baited to be on the "lookout" for something wonderful, in doing so, my awareness might be "tuned" to what is wonderful going on around me. I don't feel as though on this day I needed that prompting, I didn't feel low or unappreciative, however I didn't necessarily feel as though this day would be as good for something wonderful to happen to me as any other day. There didn't need to be some real or imagined criteria met first, that today could be the day!
All the preparations have been made - in fact in a way, there never were any, just let it be!
I came into town in part to complete a couple of errands and I considered that something wonderful might not knock at my door, I might need to take myself out into the world where I am more accessible. Not necessarily an absolute - I suppose my being accessible isn't strictly speaking, dictated by where I am, shall we say, geographically. Accessible (open) is more defined by a decision, not just a one time decision, though it could be, rather, a recognition of choice throughout the day that a decision can be made at any moment to be open, curious, willing to experience something unique.
It's interesting to notice that don't particularly need to let go of expectations about what shape this wonderful event might take, as I largely don't have any. I'm open, I consider myself of ample worth, I just don't know what to think. Truly something unforeseen has often been a source of wonder to me. How would I know exactly what might happen that would "blow my mind." If something were to happen outside my "experience" how could I preconceive of it?
Of course the wonderful something that was foretold to me might have nothing to do with me. Perhaps she that planted the seed in the first place is to be the recipient. Maybe this is to occur within her family circle, maybe this is to occur at the community level, nationally or internationally, interplanetary, intergalactically. It might have nothing to do with me or everything.
Maybe I was being baited to be on the "lookout" for something wonderful, in doing so, my awareness might be "tuned" to what is wonderful going on around me. I don't feel as though on this day I needed that prompting, I didn't feel low or unappreciative, however I didn't necessarily feel as though this day would be as good for something wonderful to happen to me as any other day. There didn't need to be some real or imagined criteria met first, that today could be the day!
All the preparations have been made - in fact in a way, there never were any, just let it be!
Monday, 5 October 2015
Live and Let Die (Easy?)
"He's such a die-hard!" - a comment I overheard while I was walking the chip trail around the golf course. It was a beautiful autumn morning, sunny with a stiff breeze, just enough to add a little to & fro of the trees and to entice some of the fallen leaves to dance.
The recipient of the title "die-hard" was a Jack Russell terrier - a tenacious breed to be sure. If you have ever played tug-o-war with one you know the truth of this.
The leaves in contrast, I would say were such "die-easy's" - when the time was right they simply detached from where they had been doing their photosynthesis thing (thank you for that, I presently continue to enjoy a regular oxygen indulgence) & float gently to the ground, transitioning from multi-coloured tapestry carpet until they decompose and yield further still, to provide their composite elements.
So why does the title "die-hard" have implied and conditioned within it, qualities of virtue? I suppose at the root of it is the fear of death. As an a side, maybe that could be subdivided to include fear of dying before actually really living?
Those that are "terminally ill" are often referred to as having "lost the battle" with whatever was ultimately their ticket to ride. Life I believe is a beautiful, miraculous gift, but I also don't believe that "death" need be indentured as "defeat." How is it that someone's "recovery" from some disease is "heroic" but their peaceful transition doesn't seem to merit the same heroism?
"Die-Hard" movies feature one person "evading death" while destroying innumerable lives, property and real estate - this is touted as admirable and is subsequently box-office magic. "Die-Hard" batteries are marketed as though they thwart the inevitable impermanence, as do those that created the "energizer bunny" - just keeps going and going and going.....
Real bunnies - otherwise known as rabbits actually stop sometimes! They sleep, some breeds hibernate and like leaves eventually die. I remember being on a farm I used to spend time at and the resident dog chased and caught a rabbit. I came on the scene seconds later and saw first hand the dog had not begun to "physically traumatize " the rabbit. When I got the rabbit away from the dog, there was no bleeding, it didn't feel as though anything was dislocated (it's limbs were functional) and there were no protrusions anywhere on it's body. It was still breathing, albeit rapidly and trembling, understandable given the shock of the event. Then as I held him, he just stopped breathing and that was it. Visually I'll grant it would have been more graphic had the dog mauled the rabbit "to death" - but it went "there" nonetheless though held and "comforted" by me? Easy really. Died easy.
If there weren't so much fear of death maybe more people could "die easy," with peace. If we weren't so convinced that death is to be avoided at all costs - maybe there would be more living brought to life.
"Old habits die hard" someone said - not a life enhancing mindset! Maybe if we fought less for our habits of behaviour and thinking, living and dying would be a whole lot easier.
Birth, death, rebirth - what could be more natural than that?
The recipient of the title "die-hard" was a Jack Russell terrier - a tenacious breed to be sure. If you have ever played tug-o-war with one you know the truth of this.
The leaves in contrast, I would say were such "die-easy's" - when the time was right they simply detached from where they had been doing their photosynthesis thing (thank you for that, I presently continue to enjoy a regular oxygen indulgence) & float gently to the ground, transitioning from multi-coloured tapestry carpet until they decompose and yield further still, to provide their composite elements.
So why does the title "die-hard" have implied and conditioned within it, qualities of virtue? I suppose at the root of it is the fear of death. As an a side, maybe that could be subdivided to include fear of dying before actually really living?
Those that are "terminally ill" are often referred to as having "lost the battle" with whatever was ultimately their ticket to ride. Life I believe is a beautiful, miraculous gift, but I also don't believe that "death" need be indentured as "defeat." How is it that someone's "recovery" from some disease is "heroic" but their peaceful transition doesn't seem to merit the same heroism?
"Die-Hard" movies feature one person "evading death" while destroying innumerable lives, property and real estate - this is touted as admirable and is subsequently box-office magic. "Die-Hard" batteries are marketed as though they thwart the inevitable impermanence, as do those that created the "energizer bunny" - just keeps going and going and going.....
Real bunnies - otherwise known as rabbits actually stop sometimes! They sleep, some breeds hibernate and like leaves eventually die. I remember being on a farm I used to spend time at and the resident dog chased and caught a rabbit. I came on the scene seconds later and saw first hand the dog had not begun to "physically traumatize " the rabbit. When I got the rabbit away from the dog, there was no bleeding, it didn't feel as though anything was dislocated (it's limbs were functional) and there were no protrusions anywhere on it's body. It was still breathing, albeit rapidly and trembling, understandable given the shock of the event. Then as I held him, he just stopped breathing and that was it. Visually I'll grant it would have been more graphic had the dog mauled the rabbit "to death" - but it went "there" nonetheless though held and "comforted" by me? Easy really. Died easy.
If there weren't so much fear of death maybe more people could "die easy," with peace. If we weren't so convinced that death is to be avoided at all costs - maybe there would be more living brought to life.
"Old habits die hard" someone said - not a life enhancing mindset! Maybe if we fought less for our habits of behaviour and thinking, living and dying would be a whole lot easier.
Birth, death, rebirth - what could be more natural than that?
Sunday, 4 October 2015
Let It Begin With Me (I'll let it).
"Forgive them for they know not what they do." Words from the bible, claimed to have been proclaimed by Jesus while he was "dying" on the cross. I now know in my heart the power and truth of them (the words) - or perhaps better said, the power conveyed within the words. They came to me while reading something completely unrelated, although, the book is entitled "There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem" so though what I was reading didn't contain those specific words - a "spiritual" solution found it's way to the door of my heart. Rather than pulling the curtains shut and hiding in the basement, treating this visitation like a door to door solicitor, on this occasion the door was allowed to open and "out of nowhere" breezes in those words, I'm immediately filled with a sense of warmth, tears (of God know what...) flow freely and I am simultaneously struck with the staggering power of unconditional love, Jesus' ability to wield it (even under those circumstances) and that I could, can and will exercise that same power of love and forgiveness on the various characters in my story - "they knew not what they did." How simple, poignant, beautiful and freeing is that? Incidentally, I'm not leading up to a planned "flash-mob" event which includes a rendition of "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" - although "we" (which I will reduce to "I" for the purpose of ownership/responsibility) most certainly do, which is to say, have this friend/brother/teacher/rabbi - made all the more wondrous when one considers this claim in light of my not identifying as a Christian or of the Hebrew faith.
A Consciousness was represented, through example and presented, not to be feared, worshipped or denied, but for personal (& collective liberation) by the man Jesus (if that was his name) some sources claim "Yeshua" - "Jesus" the name resulting from multiple translations of the original writing of the bible. "Christ" used so routinely as to become something a kin to his last name, denotes the consciousness he was demonstrating (not the sole possessor of, though certainly one who attained "mastery" - "Christ consciousness.")
Along with this soul recognition of the power to free my heart from the torment of these "multitude of villainous characters" in my life, I realize I could extend this same love and forgiveness to all the various ages of myself within me that created a myriad of beliefs and stories which do nothing but created continued suffering. Once again, "forgive them, they know not what they do." (Well they knew very well what they did, when they originally did it) it's just that no one until now, has told them it's okay now, you are loved, you are safe, the war is actually over now. Of course it's up to me to offer this update. How could "they be convinced that within me exists a safe haven - if there continues to be "attack thoughts" - me upon me, which then become projected outward rather than bringing a lasting amnesty/peace inward, the ushering in through my heart the divine love energy in order to heal my heart and subsequently all that I relate to and with is healed.
They didn't know - I didn't know, does that then call for vengeance or teaching/learning??
A Consciousness was represented, through example and presented, not to be feared, worshipped or denied, but for personal (& collective liberation) by the man Jesus (if that was his name) some sources claim "Yeshua" - "Jesus" the name resulting from multiple translations of the original writing of the bible. "Christ" used so routinely as to become something a kin to his last name, denotes the consciousness he was demonstrating (not the sole possessor of, though certainly one who attained "mastery" - "Christ consciousness.")
Along with this soul recognition of the power to free my heart from the torment of these "multitude of villainous characters" in my life, I realize I could extend this same love and forgiveness to all the various ages of myself within me that created a myriad of beliefs and stories which do nothing but created continued suffering. Once again, "forgive them, they know not what they do." (Well they knew very well what they did, when they originally did it) it's just that no one until now, has told them it's okay now, you are loved, you are safe, the war is actually over now. Of course it's up to me to offer this update. How could "they be convinced that within me exists a safe haven - if there continues to be "attack thoughts" - me upon me, which then become projected outward rather than bringing a lasting amnesty/peace inward, the ushering in through my heart the divine love energy in order to heal my heart and subsequently all that I relate to and with is healed.
They didn't know - I didn't know, does that then call for vengeance or teaching/learning??
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
My Way - Neither "the Way" nor Cause for Apology!
After a brief sojourn on Facebook, a rather romanticized notion of my time spent there, I refocus my intention to write. I have nothing against Facebook, but more often than not for me, it has more to do with taking me away from anything valuable that I might contribute to the world. Certainly on occasion I read different articles that I find interesting and inspiring and it is an endless source of quotes on pretty much anything, by a wide variety of notable quotable individuals, some of which I choose to redirect back into the great Facebook continuum for distribution, to what end, I can't be sure. I suppose I would like to think it will create some butterfly effect stirring of consciousness and I have then somehow made a contribution. I suppose I also find it heartening at times to fire a volley of some nature into what occurs at times, to be a void of monumental proportions and receive some sort of reflection that there is someone out there. In truth though - Facebook is a testimonial to Mark Zuckerberg's creativity and ingenuity, my use of it doesn't escalate my journey of self-realization or meaningful contribution through association, nor does my regurgitating the words reflecting the life experience of others. I undoubtedly love to ponder these various perspectives and some of these enough that I push in those directions in my own life - in doing so it makes possible the gift of some form of experience of my own.
I am a great believer in the power of metaphor, parable and allegory to convey various truths and there certainly is nothing wrong with using the "sign-posts" created and recorded through the journey of others, as a means of selecting a fork in the road of life that otherwise may have remained obscured. Then again though following in the footsteps of another may well yield a perspective unique to any given individuals personal viewpoint - it is also possible, that it will not necessarily break any new ground. While those throughout history (for whom their words have achieved a longevity that exceeds their mortality) have certainly lived noteworthy lives - it was "their life." They may have been noted to quote someone else in something they said or wrote but those reflections that have lived on were invariably their own - which meant they "blazed their own trail" at some point.
I'm considering that such individuals were strongly anchored in their own curiosity, that they delighted in their own discoveries, maintained a strategy with which, to render manageable, fears of various ilks - minimizing immobilization. In other words a relationship that allowed them a transcendence over the juggernaut of conformity.
Now I suppose it is difficult to determine exactly where various ways of "expressing" have at their roots external or internal influence. Certainly various sub-groups of people can have as their common denominator, various externalized ways of presenting, that on one hand they might claim sets them a part from the "norm," but certainly doesn't make them unique within the given group. I don't claim to be uninfluenced by any number of a myriad of external factors - but I seem to be on a trajectory that is less identified with any of it. I am not looking to set myself above anyone else, I am also far less inclined to make my decisions solely based on a "fuck-you" basis. At first blush, that might not seem like an accomplishment worth noting or even an accomplishment. I have come to realize that seldom, perhaps never, does it serve me to act from this form of rebellion, invariably I hurt myself in the process. Now it might take all of that energy and then some (transmuted) into a usable form of energy that will propel through resistance (external or internal) a distinction that may well be unnecessary given it doesn't really matter what form the resistance takes externally - it would be that which exists internally, that ultimately stops me or triggers doubt or other forms of self-defeating energy. So the clarifying quality I'm moving toward describing is I'm no longer trying to define my life through "fuck you" or it (whatever "it" might be) but Yes to me.
It is my dream and vision to be a writer, specifically within the realms of spirituality/transformation. My own personal experience is vast - while at the same time being minuscule. I suspect I will never offer anyone "Seven Easy Steps to" .......... most probably anything I write could begin with the title "A Beginner's Guide to......" at the very least, I hope to continue to embrace an attitude that keeps me teachable - while acknowledging, I have walked a path that led most certainly to experience and beyond that, I suppose depending on the perspective of the receiver, it might be interpreted as either wisdom, folly or my own unique blend of both. I refuse to blindly follow anyone and I'm not posturing myself to recruit followers. I am not billing myself as an "enlightened being" in fact I have innumerably glorious pratfalls that elucidate my journey upon the long and winding road thus far. I don't aspire to the pedestal - but I vow I will create a foundation that I stand upon that will unassailable by anyone and before the sun sets on my earth walk, I will no longer be the one that keeps knocking me off. The beauty of this proposed path is that as I insist on being more like me and chronicling how that occurs and resonates along the way - there will never be a shortage of fodder to be consumed, integrated and expressed newly in continued living.
I am convinced extraordinary most certain cannot be found in conformity - recognizing those things that unite me and define my universal humanity may have provided some form of comfort at some point, now they just bore the hell out of me. Beyond these narrow definitions something beckons me, with a voice that won't be ignored. It speaks of radical approaches - I most certainly intend to express from a place of authenticity and living from where I speak; at the the same time, I will no longer wait for conditions and anyone outside myself, to determine my credibility.
"Build it and they will come!"
I am declaring the ribbon is cut - I am built!
I am a great believer in the power of metaphor, parable and allegory to convey various truths and there certainly is nothing wrong with using the "sign-posts" created and recorded through the journey of others, as a means of selecting a fork in the road of life that otherwise may have remained obscured. Then again though following in the footsteps of another may well yield a perspective unique to any given individuals personal viewpoint - it is also possible, that it will not necessarily break any new ground. While those throughout history (for whom their words have achieved a longevity that exceeds their mortality) have certainly lived noteworthy lives - it was "their life." They may have been noted to quote someone else in something they said or wrote but those reflections that have lived on were invariably their own - which meant they "blazed their own trail" at some point.
I'm considering that such individuals were strongly anchored in their own curiosity, that they delighted in their own discoveries, maintained a strategy with which, to render manageable, fears of various ilks - minimizing immobilization. In other words a relationship that allowed them a transcendence over the juggernaut of conformity.
Now I suppose it is difficult to determine exactly where various ways of "expressing" have at their roots external or internal influence. Certainly various sub-groups of people can have as their common denominator, various externalized ways of presenting, that on one hand they might claim sets them a part from the "norm," but certainly doesn't make them unique within the given group. I don't claim to be uninfluenced by any number of a myriad of external factors - but I seem to be on a trajectory that is less identified with any of it. I am not looking to set myself above anyone else, I am also far less inclined to make my decisions solely based on a "fuck-you" basis. At first blush, that might not seem like an accomplishment worth noting or even an accomplishment. I have come to realize that seldom, perhaps never, does it serve me to act from this form of rebellion, invariably I hurt myself in the process. Now it might take all of that energy and then some (transmuted) into a usable form of energy that will propel through resistance (external or internal) a distinction that may well be unnecessary given it doesn't really matter what form the resistance takes externally - it would be that which exists internally, that ultimately stops me or triggers doubt or other forms of self-defeating energy. So the clarifying quality I'm moving toward describing is I'm no longer trying to define my life through "fuck you" or it (whatever "it" might be) but Yes to me.
It is my dream and vision to be a writer, specifically within the realms of spirituality/transformation. My own personal experience is vast - while at the same time being minuscule. I suspect I will never offer anyone "Seven Easy Steps to" .......... most probably anything I write could begin with the title "A Beginner's Guide to......" at the very least, I hope to continue to embrace an attitude that keeps me teachable - while acknowledging, I have walked a path that led most certainly to experience and beyond that, I suppose depending on the perspective of the receiver, it might be interpreted as either wisdom, folly or my own unique blend of both. I refuse to blindly follow anyone and I'm not posturing myself to recruit followers. I am not billing myself as an "enlightened being" in fact I have innumerably glorious pratfalls that elucidate my journey upon the long and winding road thus far. I don't aspire to the pedestal - but I vow I will create a foundation that I stand upon that will unassailable by anyone and before the sun sets on my earth walk, I will no longer be the one that keeps knocking me off. The beauty of this proposed path is that as I insist on being more like me and chronicling how that occurs and resonates along the way - there will never be a shortage of fodder to be consumed, integrated and expressed newly in continued living.
I am convinced extraordinary most certain cannot be found in conformity - recognizing those things that unite me and define my universal humanity may have provided some form of comfort at some point, now they just bore the hell out of me. Beyond these narrow definitions something beckons me, with a voice that won't be ignored. It speaks of radical approaches - I most certainly intend to express from a place of authenticity and living from where I speak; at the the same time, I will no longer wait for conditions and anyone outside myself, to determine my credibility.
"Build it and they will come!"
I am declaring the ribbon is cut - I am built!
Sunday, 20 September 2015
Exile on Mine Street
Though it might seem obvious: that as in the "Sound of Music" they sang: "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, when you read you begin with A..B..C, when you sing you begin with do, re, mi..." For my variety of story telling.... it is rather challenging to pin down "the beginning!" Part of the reason for that is that even when I'm preparing to relay a relatively current "experience" it can often have reference points from the past (by no means restricted to "negative" "traumatic" occurrences - though they could be, but also they can draw on some form of insight or connection experience that was intriguing at the time, and at the same time also appeared to be an isolated awareness that didn't have much ongoing relevance, so I file it in the "maybe this will make more sense another time" bin). Then I proceed to "Row row row my boat" (while occasionally reaching beyond the gunwale of my own canoe to grab someone else's oar) - have you ever tried to paddle a canoe your not sitting in? - suffice to say, less than effective!) all kinds of life experiences present themselves and then there may be one, or a series of experiences, that bring back into focus that "irrelevant revelation" from God knows how long ago, and it has brand new meaning and significance.
So - how about that? I began with an convoluted expression of lack of clarity with regard to offering a tangible "once upon a time" and in doing so, a beginning was created. How does that work - I can't say for sure - I can see that it has occurred and there has been established an introduction. To what? Well let's carry on and find out!
I was at a "spiritual gathering"today - I take a stab at providing some context for that statement, without it becoming a treatise on "spirituality." Overall I would say there is no time or place when I'm not on a leg of this spiritual journey - there are just sometimes, when part of the purpose & focus of the gathering - its raison d'etre, is explicitly: "spirituality." So what that means to me, is potentially there will be space for considering and expressing from anywhere within that rather large umbrella. Of course each individual is rather like the guard at the toll gate - nothing is going to come or go that isn't allowed by the guard - so I can neither assure a particular experience for anyone else nor will I impose any further "definition" on the subject matter. There naturally can be a wide range of allowance for range of exploratory discussion, as well as tolerances (an unfortunate word) for what one might call authentic personal expression, versus recitations of known theology without any contexual sharing of how that might actually be working (or not) in a given life experience.
Bears are once again in my consciousness - as is the reclamation (referred to in some schools of thought as "soul-retrieval.") of various "parts" of myself; it can involve a variety of processes that are purposed with "re-membering." My title refers to "exile." What am I referring to? Essentially aspects of myself that were exiled at various parts of my life when a variety of traumas occurred. I'm not here to discount or diminish any particular stream of consciousness because they have all contributed to the "body of knowledge" that is still unfolding. Having said that the remembering I speak of is not only encapsulated within the practices of "Psychology" with it various forms of "cognitive restructuring" - for sure, new belief systems can be advantageous and though I recognize that no process operates in isolation (given the multiple layers of our being) still, to act strictly upon the mind/intellect still leaves some "weeds in the garden." So then I'm talking about remembering for the purpose of restoring integrity within myself, by which I'm not speaking in terms of a "resolution" to become more "cash register honest." I'm suggesting that in order to truly reach and bring my full potentials into being a re-integration of all this fragmentation is required. Not talking perpetual victim stories or remaining stuck on scape-goating parents etc. All these pieces, are useful for information and as part of the remembering - but for the purpose of transforming these blocks, inner grievances and sources of ongoing suffering.
Through the lens of "animal medicine" long ago I discovered a resonance with the qualities attributed to bear. Powers of introspection - I had no trouble recognizing and claiming, it has been a further journey to lay claim to the qualities of massive strength and confidence. Further included are the power and importance of solitude and its connection to healing (self or others). Recent "introspection and current personal expansion has brought the very youngest, most tender young age of my being which had in effect, been "abandoned" by me; energetically, "he" held considerable trauma and at some point, placing in "exile," sort of a Walt Disney-esque self-cryogenic state, rather than deal with the pain he represented, was at the time, a survival tactic. The "problem" is that to judge such a young age as being inconsequential would be a gravely erroneous assumption. "He" embodies those very "bear-like" qualities among many others and his exile results in my being cut off from them, and a very integral part of myself and connection to all that is!
So the recognition of this began last week - a welcoming home, a declaration of undying unconditional love - a reunion (if you will). The very next day as I was walking through the oak meadow in my neighborhood I bent over to stretch my low back and I discovered a "heart-shaped" stone with a image of a bear's head on it. It was then I was told this part of myself is indeed named "little bear" - I received confirmation of this in a way that is intimate and personal to me (which if you can accept this journey as being true - you might well agree, makes sense).
Today's presentation at the gathering I "felt" drawn to attend without "knowing why," was about the power and importance of the "village"in our journey - which among other things can be comprised of a community of inner guides, "higher" self, various archetypes or parts of ourselves, angels, ancestors - whatever you can allow to be held in your belief system) - naturally there are external representation of this village as well. We also did a short Qi Gong form which included a short set call "bear swimming across the stream" - just this very morning I was prompted to look a the "bear" card in a deck of "Druid" themed divination cards. The bear figures prominently in many ancient cultures as a powerful spiritual medicine talisman - including the ancient Celts/Druids that as it happened to align with a still largely unknown but nonetheless Irish ancestral lineage on my biological father's side (the "remembering of which has commenced but is by no means complete). There was references to a bear god and goddess both the names of which contain a root in the celtic language "art" for bear, is comprised in the name of the "legendary King Arthur" symbolic of a spiritual warrior and well as pointing out that the polar star located beyond the constellation of the "great bear" is there to guide travellers in the darkest of winter sky's when no other light can be seen. (an association that is ripe with metaphor meaning to me).
I am in awe at how Spirit works in my life and how the "pieces" are woven together; in time, over time, and very specifically relevant to me. Incidentally I didn't include the previous sentence to highlight my uniqueness - but to represent my belief that this is possible for anyone. I most certainly encourage each to prove it for themselves - in the ways that occur to you to be appropriate - if and when you choose. All I know is that the more I go inward - which has long been impressed to me to be where each persons answers lie, the expansion results in expression that for some, will occur to be "out there." Don't allow that to dissuade you from your own journeying - I'm a story teller at heart, I'm merely sharing with anyone that might be willing to pull up a chair, the view I encounter as I walk the long and winding road. I neither insist you need see what I see - or even walk the same road. In fact I would love it if you see me on the road - you stop and share with me, what it is you see.
So - how about that? I began with an convoluted expression of lack of clarity with regard to offering a tangible "once upon a time" and in doing so, a beginning was created. How does that work - I can't say for sure - I can see that it has occurred and there has been established an introduction. To what? Well let's carry on and find out!
I was at a "spiritual gathering"today - I take a stab at providing some context for that statement, without it becoming a treatise on "spirituality." Overall I would say there is no time or place when I'm not on a leg of this spiritual journey - there are just sometimes, when part of the purpose & focus of the gathering - its raison d'etre, is explicitly: "spirituality." So what that means to me, is potentially there will be space for considering and expressing from anywhere within that rather large umbrella. Of course each individual is rather like the guard at the toll gate - nothing is going to come or go that isn't allowed by the guard - so I can neither assure a particular experience for anyone else nor will I impose any further "definition" on the subject matter. There naturally can be a wide range of allowance for range of exploratory discussion, as well as tolerances (an unfortunate word) for what one might call authentic personal expression, versus recitations of known theology without any contexual sharing of how that might actually be working (or not) in a given life experience.
Bears are once again in my consciousness - as is the reclamation (referred to in some schools of thought as "soul-retrieval.") of various "parts" of myself; it can involve a variety of processes that are purposed with "re-membering." My title refers to "exile." What am I referring to? Essentially aspects of myself that were exiled at various parts of my life when a variety of traumas occurred. I'm not here to discount or diminish any particular stream of consciousness because they have all contributed to the "body of knowledge" that is still unfolding. Having said that the remembering I speak of is not only encapsulated within the practices of "Psychology" with it various forms of "cognitive restructuring" - for sure, new belief systems can be advantageous and though I recognize that no process operates in isolation (given the multiple layers of our being) still, to act strictly upon the mind/intellect still leaves some "weeds in the garden." So then I'm talking about remembering for the purpose of restoring integrity within myself, by which I'm not speaking in terms of a "resolution" to become more "cash register honest." I'm suggesting that in order to truly reach and bring my full potentials into being a re-integration of all this fragmentation is required. Not talking perpetual victim stories or remaining stuck on scape-goating parents etc. All these pieces, are useful for information and as part of the remembering - but for the purpose of transforming these blocks, inner grievances and sources of ongoing suffering.
Through the lens of "animal medicine" long ago I discovered a resonance with the qualities attributed to bear. Powers of introspection - I had no trouble recognizing and claiming, it has been a further journey to lay claim to the qualities of massive strength and confidence. Further included are the power and importance of solitude and its connection to healing (self or others). Recent "introspection and current personal expansion has brought the very youngest, most tender young age of my being which had in effect, been "abandoned" by me; energetically, "he" held considerable trauma and at some point, placing in "exile," sort of a Walt Disney-esque self-cryogenic state, rather than deal with the pain he represented, was at the time, a survival tactic. The "problem" is that to judge such a young age as being inconsequential would be a gravely erroneous assumption. "He" embodies those very "bear-like" qualities among many others and his exile results in my being cut off from them, and a very integral part of myself and connection to all that is!
So the recognition of this began last week - a welcoming home, a declaration of undying unconditional love - a reunion (if you will). The very next day as I was walking through the oak meadow in my neighborhood I bent over to stretch my low back and I discovered a "heart-shaped" stone with a image of a bear's head on it. It was then I was told this part of myself is indeed named "little bear" - I received confirmation of this in a way that is intimate and personal to me (which if you can accept this journey as being true - you might well agree, makes sense).
Today's presentation at the gathering I "felt" drawn to attend without "knowing why," was about the power and importance of the "village"in our journey - which among other things can be comprised of a community of inner guides, "higher" self, various archetypes or parts of ourselves, angels, ancestors - whatever you can allow to be held in your belief system) - naturally there are external representation of this village as well. We also did a short Qi Gong form which included a short set call "bear swimming across the stream" - just this very morning I was prompted to look a the "bear" card in a deck of "Druid" themed divination cards. The bear figures prominently in many ancient cultures as a powerful spiritual medicine talisman - including the ancient Celts/Druids that as it happened to align with a still largely unknown but nonetheless Irish ancestral lineage on my biological father's side (the "remembering of which has commenced but is by no means complete). There was references to a bear god and goddess both the names of which contain a root in the celtic language "art" for bear, is comprised in the name of the "legendary King Arthur" symbolic of a spiritual warrior and well as pointing out that the polar star located beyond the constellation of the "great bear" is there to guide travellers in the darkest of winter sky's when no other light can be seen. (an association that is ripe with metaphor meaning to me).
I am in awe at how Spirit works in my life and how the "pieces" are woven together; in time, over time, and very specifically relevant to me. Incidentally I didn't include the previous sentence to highlight my uniqueness - but to represent my belief that this is possible for anyone. I most certainly encourage each to prove it for themselves - in the ways that occur to you to be appropriate - if and when you choose. All I know is that the more I go inward - which has long been impressed to me to be where each persons answers lie, the expansion results in expression that for some, will occur to be "out there." Don't allow that to dissuade you from your own journeying - I'm a story teller at heart, I'm merely sharing with anyone that might be willing to pull up a chair, the view I encounter as I walk the long and winding road. I neither insist you need see what I see - or even walk the same road. In fact I would love it if you see me on the road - you stop and share with me, what it is you see.
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