Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Well, apparently "Auld Lang Syne" translates into "the good old days," the words of another old song suggest "make new friends but keep the old - one is silver the other is gold." So then, should we let go of the memories of those days? Depending on ones point of view, even if the old days were fraught with painful memories those events may well have been the catalyst to shape one's current character (for better or for worse - you decide!) So I suppose my wish for all is that you are walking a path to peace within yourself. I don't know that it's possible to forget the past or how it has shaped us - but there is definitely merit in letting go of judgement about those past events (regarding my involvement and the part others played) In reality I did the best I could at the time (though overall capacity or potential may have been unrealized back then, it is still irrelevant - as, those qualities that were honed along the way, may not have come to be otherwise.
What then if "auld acquaintance" were thought of as mind sets, belief systems, programming of all sorts? Not so far-fetched - after all if closely examined, one would discover they have the familiarity and comfort of your go to hoodie (albeit a perverse variety of comfort, given they may not truly serve ones highest good any longer). Maybe these acquaintances might be best honoured and embraced with gratitude for the part they played (consider, if nothing else they may have ensured survival, helping one navigate the tumultuous waters of emotional annihilation).
So just as one might visit the memory of an old friend at this time of year - it might be possible to visit these emotional allies, the various aspects of the persona (personality) acknowledge the role they played in your life and decide the nature of the current relationship with these nebulous fragments of your being. Forgetting them altogether may not serve entirely (as they then might continue to exercise their influence beyond the point of usefulness. Likely merited is some attention to how they served (as well as some recognition with regard to how they might have limited what was possible). In this respect there might well be the blended visitation of various emotions, as the heart recalls and swings about the spectrum warmed by some recollections and feeling potentially melancholic, stemming from the same memory.
The last six years of my life have been ear-marked by such profound and rapid change my head continues to spin. A deeper immersion in spirituality has been my "calling?" In itself one becomes aware that though it is a more "main-stream" pursuit it can still be viewed with the framework of taboo conversations (i.e. "religion" & politics). That a long term marriage and full-time career have fallen away has both created the space to explore and may prove to identify a passion for the pursuit or a penchant to at times, embrace things to the extreme (or both). Within that journey I have come to be aware that my inner world awareness (is a gift) which doesn't mean for a minute that as I mine the depths of my psyche (looking for answers to such questions as: "how did I get here?" "What it's all about?" "Where am I going & why?") I enjoy everything I find. Quite to the contrary - there are some painful realities enfolded in the "truth setting you free." This all in stark contrast to years of living as though life was happening to me (as such I "reasoned" I had little or no choice). So awareness or "becoming more conscious" (is no walk in the park - though of course the realization to spend more time walking in the park and noticing while there, could be an act of consciousness). The journey yields realization that I'm not entirely who I've said I am, not even always who I'd prefer to believe I am. But also inherent in the journey is a call to have love and compassion for self during this process of discovery.
I've come to discover my version of resistance to change (of course I don't hold the monopoly on this - but it's only of value to each, to see how these energies operate in their own life) - I suppose in hindsight my attempts have been futile (given the inevitability of change) still an increased willingness to embrace change (even seek it out) certainly is making for a period of huge personal expansion. Of course then I catch wind of the richness and diversity of the life path of others and become acutely aware of the pain my "stuckness" has created in my life. Still each has their own path to walk (I have limited understanding of my own soul calling - so it is pointless to compare myself to the journey of others). At times I fully recognize the benefit of change (and know the discomfort of stagnation) but when I'm in it - there can be times when some part of my being digs in it's heels and angrily cries out "enough!!" "I don't know where I am - I can't see around the next corner, I don't know what's back there but it's probably not good, someone is going to get hurt and it's likely going to be me!!" (that I now know this "inner dialogue" occurs is a blessing - when unconsciously in it's grip there was very little chance I would not be influenced by it). Now I can consider the "warning" and determine both the likelihood of a perilous outcome and whether I could "handle it" if it arose. It also could be that I have been pushing through big change and need to back off a little to integrate, replenish my energies and then carry on. There are also times when opportunity knocks (I suppose it rarely if ever, isn't knocking) and I choose not to answer the door. I suppose there is an art of living that includes the ability to know when to say yes or no to the invitation to dance with change and to do so within a container of love. (Saying no might be the loving response, especially if one is given habitually saying yes). Could also be true that a yes (despite it representing stepping outside my comfort zone might well be the loving path to an amazing experience and personal growth). Questioning my "habits" (including habitual thinking and ways of being) can be fruitful (if done in a non-critical manner to see if fertile ground is present for the planting of the seeds of change).
Large scale external change is not the only way to experience the inner dynamics (walls and growing edges of self) - it certainly can be (travel, career change, begin a relationship or end one) all will visit change upon your life. But it is equally true that change within existing circumstances can be equally challenging - a further willingness to be intimate (increased vulnerability) within some of my existing relationships or new ones, has been every bit an adventure as travelling abroad (so it is possible to vastly change your experience without even leaving your hometown). The inner landscape is a territory that is full of peaks, valleys, surprising vistas beyond the horizon and mysteries a plenty.
Reconsidering my opening question "Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?" I suppose my answer is absolutely not - how could I conceive of forgetting? My every step, each utterance that passes my lips each thought that I entertain is coloured, influenced and scrutinized by my relationship with it all. My life has been continually enriched by the dynamic tension of these relationships. My fate is day by day molded and unfolds through contrast, mirroring and ongoing personal reflection. To forget would be to fore go the very fibers that comprise my own heart -as I move forward each step honours "auld acquaintance" known and unknown, you provide for me the light in the darkness and ignite in me the hunger to keep asking a better question!
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