The late author Richard Carlson entitled one of his books: "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." I know it graced my bookshelf at some point (maybe more than once). Off the top of my head, I don't recall anything that I could directly attribute to having read that book. In fairness though, books that impact me; whether it's the entire book or a few chapters or even a single idea, are then assimilated and "the source" long forgotten. I'm guessing if I picked up his book again now - something would catch my attention. Books of this sort, are like that for me.
The title springs to mind and while I concur in general terms, that there can be, as Shakespeare said "Much Ado About Nothing;" it occurs to me that ignoring "the small things" can be the proverbial "burr in your blanket." Ironically Carlson himself received his "ticket to ride" via an embolism which despite it's catastrophic result (in terms of the paradigm of "life and "death") the "embolism" itself, is an extremely, "small thing." Now, discussions of life and death, life after death, near death experiences; is not the scope of this post. For the record I don't believe death is a "bad thing" at all and neither am I in a hurry, to "break on through."
I began to ponder "small things" when I "finally" decided to replace my phone case. As you might recall, I lost a phone approximately a couple of months or so ago (my gifts don't include "historian" so in fairly short order, I can no longer track the time frames of events). I've been told that means I have increased my capacity to be here, now. Anyway, I replaced the phone and at the same time put out the extra cash to buy a protective case. It irks me somewhat, that at the cost of these "devices" they are designed and built to be so vulnerable to damage; however they are, so it seems prudent to me to cut my losses and protect the damn phone.
I decided to "save" ten bucks and bought a competitor's case (I had used an "Otter Box- "Defender" which does offer plenty of drop protection; however not waterproof. Don't ask me why suddenly "waterproof" became desirable. In all the time I had any of my previous phones I have not yet dropped one in the water. I simply lost the phone - it wouldn't have mattered if it was wrapped in tungsten steel; someone else acquired my phone, when unbeknownst to me, it fell out of my pocket.
The newly chosen case known as "Ballistic" was ten dollars cheaper and "water-proof" (story spoiler alert: my perspective on the chosen name, is that it describes ones general emotional state, the longer they try to operate their phone through that fricken' case!)
Maybe that in itself is an indictment of my being the equivalent of an emotional/spiritual lilliputian or maybe, just maybe, sometimes "small stuff matters."
The first "alteration" I made to my new case; after a number of frustrating calls, was I removed the plastic film, that was installed inside the case that sealed over the speaker. This of course was one of the features that made case "water-proof." The case itself was sealed with rubber gaskets. This plastic film over the speaker may well have ensured the water-tight integrity of the case (I don't know I didn't through it in the pool) but what I can say for sure, is that when one tried to use the phone on "speaker" (which I like to do as much as possible; to minimize the electromagnetic energy of the phone, from giving me a lobotomy on the instalment plan) - rendered the flow of conversation the equivalent, of speaking to a brick; as the recipient couldn't hear me. I verified the phone itself was functional by removing it from the case and using the hands free function, which worked perfectly well.
The next attribute that turned out to be an ever increasing source of aggravation, was the "protective screen" of the case. Designed to prevent the phones glass screen from getting cracked when dropped; and again while I didn't test it, it's possible that it might stop bullets. The "down-side" of said force-field was that the "touch-screen" function of the phone was "hit or miss" - very frequently miss! What the hell is the use of having a "touch-screen" phone that you could touch with a mallet and not be able to type a text.
The third "feature" which made this case a complete dud (in my mind) was the external protrusion on the case that was supposed to toggle the phones ring tone silencing switch. As you know that switch on its own, normally can be smoothly and lightly moved from on to off; not once you enclose the phone in this short-cut to the asylum case! You could probably jump on it and still not turn the phone to silence.
I mentioned "finally" replaced the case as there was significant time spent, giving the case "the benefit of the doubt" (like maybe it will improve with repeated use), can't rule out the "I paid good money for this" factor, a side of, "you couldn't just go with the tried and true, had to save ten bucks," and finally I've created enough suffering for myself, there was never really any need for self-recrimination so then, it time to stop that and, my time and energy are worth more than taking the old case back and haggling over returning it, to a place that is not conveniently located; so I will just replace the case at a nearby outlet.
Such a simple thing (a "small thing") but when these small things are repeated again and again they exponentially take on a life of their own.
Another example I encountered was today. I walking a short distance in my immediate neighbourhood and noticed a discomfort on the back of my heel. It felt as though if left unchecked, a blister will be the result. The boots I was wearing are relatively new, but I have worn then longer and walked further, than this morning, without any problem. I removed the one boot and checked to see if there was a wrinkle in the sock (again a "small thing" but over the miles can be problematic as can be a pebble in the shoe). No wrinkle and continuing to walk revealed no improvement. I went home to drop off some stuff and again took the boots off, thinking to change the socks. On the surface of the heel that had been uncomfortable, it looked at first as though there was split in the skin. I had no idea how that might have occurred however, it made sense that it could be tender. Then I went to feel it with a finger tip and it turned out to be a small strand of hair! Surely that couldn't have been the source of the irritation? I brushed it off and pulled up the same socks I was wearing, put the boots back on and walked around. Voila, end of discomfort. This one I really found surprising; but it did go to show that "small" doesn't equal insignificant.
It has been said "dynamite comes in small packages," clearly it can "move mountains."
Perhaps it's the mindsets around what are deemed "small things," that is counter productive. "We" are told to "suck it up," "stop whining," in the case of men: to "man up," "grow a set," "be a man" etc. Culturally "suffering silently" and behaviour that is nothing short of martyrdom is embraced and even in some ways, encouraged and rewarded. Given this, is it any wonder that one becomes conditioned to "bite their tongue" amongst their peer-groups and social circles and even creates and maintains circumstances that involve ongoing suffering for oneself. Does it really matter, a "little" suffering or a lot? You don't need to be hemorrhaging before going to the doctor (or maybe you think you do - what's up with that?) A "small" continuous dripping flow of water can cut right through stone!
Ignoring the "small things" ultimately leads to resentment. Minor irritations more than likely call for truth to be spoken (boundaries to be set) in the case of social interaction and some sort of action in the case of situational or physical challenges.
It cannot be left to someone else to determine what is needed (or when) in order to restore equilibrium. It is up to each to decide whether a matter "is worth" attention/intervention. Certainly there is wisdom in "choosing ones battles." Consider the question of worth might well be a reflection of how one "values" themselves. If one mistakenly considers themselves to be insignificant then it might take a rather sizeable issue before they speak up or act (if at all).
So in this context "size doesn't matter." It's up to each to determine what matters to them, the quality of their lives, their circumstances and their interactions.
No comments:
Post a Comment