Yesterday morning I had a vision for my day. I was going to work an early shift at the hospital (7a.m. - 3 p.m.) which would have me off early enough in the afternoon, to go to the gym. The scope of this vision was conceived Sunday evening before I went to bed. During the afternoon on Sunday, I attended a "energy releasing circle" - that had to do with working with ancestral energies. Though I fell asleep readily enough that evening, I was awake at two in the morning!.
Now, it's not unusual (in my experience, for sleep to be fragmented after undergoing various forms of energy work; so I wasn't "concerned." (Well except that I intended to get up at 4:45 a.m.) I laid awake for sometime and just as I felt I was nodding off again, I was abruptly awakened once again; by the most bizarre voice. Holy shit it was surreal. I shook my head and ensured I was awake (and not dreaming) and listened again.
Sure enough "the voice" sounds once again. Though perhaps not a perfect match - imagine the voice of Popeye and you'd be in the ball park. The difference was instead of proclaiming "I Yam what I Yam" and ringing endorsements about "loving me spinach," this individual was muttering a very colourful and creative mix of obscenities; the source of which, sounded very close to my bedroom window. My condo faces out onto what is a fairly busy crosstown thoroughfare during the day, and at night, it's not unusual that there can be the foot traffic of those, in various forms of inebriation and sometimes the discourse, is chemically infused passion; other times same infusion of lubricants, but the emotion of choice being expressed is rage. Aside from being jolted awake (and sometimes upright) these nocturnal exchanges usually fade; as the participants continue on to wherever it is that they are going.
I waited to hear the status of "Popeye" and intermittently the sound of his voice indicated he was still there. Now those hacker/slasher movies are not my usual fare anymore, but I've seen my share at one time or another. As such, I know better than to go sticking my head out the window to see what's going on. To do so, would invite a meeting with the chainsaw or machete, of some goalie-mask wearing fiend.
It got quiet for awhile and I surmised "Popeye" must have carried on his merry way. And the reason it sounded so close was just the stillness of the night and my bedroom window was ........ OPEN!
The night fell back into silence and I mindfully set the intention that if I didn't fall entirely back to sleep, I would still arise rested and refreshed. I have no idea what time this would have been; I didn't want to look. What I can say is that the simulated harp "alarm" at 4:45 a.m.; seemed about 15 seconds later!
I forgot all about Popeye by the time I went to bed the following night (until precisely 2:00 a.m. when I first woke and then realized I was now living "The Return of Popeye - Part Deux.") There is also an owl out there somewhere; which I have heard on the occasion of my nocturnal stirrings in the wee hours). I was convinced I want to go out and see if I can locate the owl; now I'm not so sure, it might be one of Popeye's minions!!
This morning Popeye was more vocal than the previous morning. Far more expressive within the context of what sounded to be, a demented dialogue. I listened for awhile and Popeye neither moved on nor quietened down. In fact, he got louder and more agitated. I could also hear what sound like the sound of plastic tarps rustling every so often. I thought to myself, great he's taken up residence out there. The grounds in front of my building slope down from the road; then there is a garden at street level; full of various kinds of the perfect kind of foliage that would offer one privacy down below. My unit (and balcony) are on the second floor so Popeye would need to be Spiderman to gain access. However the folks on the first floor would have an eye to goalie mask view, if they looked out their windows.
I could hear stirring in the unit below me - but Popeye wasn't settling nor did "anyone else" seem to be doing anything about the situation. I decided enough was enough, Popeye could get hypothermia out there and I wasn't going to go without another night's sleep. If he'd piped down (pardon the pun) I might well have gone off to sleep and let sleeping Popeyes lie.
I called the non-emergency police number and was flabbergasted to be answered by a automated call queuing recording (in their defence they did indicate that if this were an emergency to hang up and dial 911). It wasn't much more than inconvenient as I'm placing the call and wading through the cue options; however, they needed to realize, any moment Popeye could flash up the Husqvarna and then it's a whole different scenario. Finally I get a real live dispatch person and proceed to give them the nature of my concern. (I refrained from describing the visitor as having a voice like Popeye and just went with "sounds disturbed" - which was the truth, the content of his rambling was troubled to say the least - however if I included the voice like Popeye, I wasn't sure the dispatcher would be able to discern whom was the "disturbed" one here.
All the while I'm on the phone with the dispatcher who is now asking me to give him the coordinates of the front of the building (north/south etc.) and by extension, Popeye; I'm thinking, " I said my name is Mason, not Magellan; I can still hear Popeye cussing up a storm!
Then, no sooner did I hang up and get back in bed, than it becomes "dead" silent! First I'm thinking, oh ya if and when the cops show up, I'm going to look like a monkey cuz Popeye's buggered off. Then I realized, ah, this is just a ploy, the silence is to lull me into a false sense of security, I stick my head out the window and then ushered in by a cello generated crescendo - I become the ghost of unit #204.
It was quite sometime before a police van pulled up on the street. I could hear him calling to Popeye (of course he didn't know his true identity) and shining his flashlight which lit up my room as the blinds aren't all the way down (I certainly wasn't going to tip my hand by dropping them down and then Popeye would have a fix on my coordinates and then it's curtains for me!!!!) Yuk..yuk...yuk
I guess the cop must have worked his way down to the lawn in front of the window and now he is engaging Popeye in conversation. But wait a minute, Popeye's voice has morphed! Not only does it not sound like "his" voice - it is the voice of a women? What the hell....?
I'll refrain from any dime store (pop-psychology assessments) but now I'm thinking Popeye is "Sybil"!!!
It probably took a good three-quarters of an hour for the police supervised breaking of camp. To his credit he interacted with her with a great deal of patience and humour and deescalated her a few times during the proceedings (even suggesting she head for the park if she's intent on sleeping outside where she would be less likely to be disturbed than when choosing "private property" - she indicated that it was her preference to sleep outside).
Anyway my digression to the Popeye epic was to create the context that despite the setting of intentions, literally anything can transpire in the midst of it all (not always of this nature but....) I did get up the first morning at the call of the harp. I got ready, observed my morning rituals and set out on my bike to go to work. It's a good thing I left early; in order to arrive there with plenty of time for perhaps a cup of tea and or, a little reading. I got within a few paces of the bike storage locker at the hospital and I suddenly realized, I don't have my electronic access card! If it were only for the bike locker, I could have locked my bike else where. However, I need it to access the locker/change room, various areas in the hospital that I might go if I was doing the "porter" job and even to operate the "staff" elevator. So, I did a quick one-eighty and now I'm pedalling my butt back home to get the card. My sleep deprived being was now called on to pedal three times the distance before I began my day of work!
By the time I got back with my card and changed, I showed up in the department a couple minutes late. Nobody made a fuss about that and I explained the situation to one of the supervisors after morning report (excluding Popeye - just the forgotten access card/staff i.d.) The work day itself was uneventful and not exceedingly busy. When I left after my shift was over my continued intention was to go to the gym. First I needed to go to the mall where I had purchased a new shirt on sale. When I got the shirt home and was going to throw it in the wash to begin working it in - I discovered they had left the security tab on. I had left the store without tripping any alarms, but learned upon returning with the shirt, that the contents of the tab was ink (under pressure) and if you tried to dislodge it; ink would be infused into the garment and potentially in your face (hence the written warning :"unauthorized tampering could result in damage to the garment or personal harm) - seems a little heavy-handed for a shirt! Needless to say, I wasn't going to try and take it a part at home.
I got the shirt dealt with and hopped back on my bike. It was plenty early enough still and the gym wasn't far from the mall. However, then it started: "I'm tired!" "I could just go tomorrow and make a fresh start" I've already ridden three times the distance to work and now to the mall and still need to ride home!"
I rode to the exit of the mall parking lot where a directional decision was necessary: Left (home) right (gym). I went right! (Even still it didn't mean with a zig here and a zag there I couldn't still - "go home.") I got to the intersection that required another turn to head toward the gym; I made the turn. I parked my bike and locked it. Even while approaching the front door - I'm thinking, I could still just turn right around and go home. What the hell difference does it make? (there is invariably a price to pay for such "selling out." Certainly legitimate fatigue can call for a rejigging of the scheduled intentions - this was not that!
I walked through the door and dug out my membership card - even scanning in, wouldn't make a great deal of difference. I have a three month unlimited pass so even if I left without doing anything it wouldn't be like I used up a "visit." However I would have created a deficit in a different ledger. It is my experience that these inner conflicts are like exercising a muscle - one needs to hold to the intention in the face of this "inner racket" it doesn't mean you won't encounter it again; but it does give you a growing confidence that you can override it.
Within the first few sets of different exercises I was "into it." The gym wasn't very busy so I was able to keep to a steady momentum and intensity level and be in and out under an hour (one of the best workouts I've had lately). That's what I'm saying, I wouldn't be able to say that or have experienced it had I caved in.
I went home energized and ready to enjoy an relaxing evening; after which I anticipated a good night's sleep, which was not in the cards.
As an aside, how does this act of inner victory have application in life? Well beside the gym intention, it is transferrable to most anywhere an intention is set (that is in jeopardy of being derailed). Today, after another night with Popeye I was glad to not be booked to work. A mid-morning shift offer came through via text, but by then I was intent on completing the online "on-boarding" process for another casual position that I successfully interviewed for. One of the requirements was a Criminal record check - no problem I have no reason to not submit to the requirement. Besides that, I had one "not so long ago" if I can just put my hands on the letter...... Bingo I found it! I emailed back and forth with a contact at Human resources who responded with some instructions re: contacting the "Ministry of Justice" - a conversation with them, punted the ball back to human resources. More emails to the H.R. office - now with different instructions (which were presented in such a way that, I would have seen them had I thoroughly read my online package - despite the fact that I had already received and tried to implement her specific contrary instructions) - translations, they messed up and wanted to tag me with it.
As you recall my intention was to see this process through (that would include even in the face of mounting frustration with "run-around.") I just kept doing what I was able to complete and then informing H.R. where things were at. Nothing more, nothing less. Invariably I would receive more contradictory direction - still I followed the guidance. Even now, eight hours after I began this process this a.m. I fielded another email with new instructions (which failed upon implementation) - the ministry website indicated there is no previous record to share with my new employer (despite their representative bringing that document up on her computer when we spoke this morning.
I began the process again, this time selecting the option to submit a new record check application - naturally the system allowed me to engage where the requirement is to submit more money! So I have written H.R. back, informed them I now have a "new application" underway; as well as the original and a copy of the one, that is supposed to be good through December 2019. Step by step, "flustered" and "overwhelm" be damned!! I just do what's in front of me to do. I will not let "my racket" take me out!
What I am transforming for myself is a life long practice of throwing in the towel. Of course there are times when one's time and energy value have been exceeded and therefore to continue to engage, is fruitless.
There is also times when one might cite the above scenario, however in truth, they are quitting on themselves. (ouch) I'll let you decide which it is, for yourself.
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