Today I took another baby step; or perhaps it's a quantum leap, I suppose it all in how one frames it. I contacted someone to enquire regarding her services which include: editing, proofreading, "beta-reading" some or all of which, I wish to direct towards my book (long held in manuscript limbo).
It was earlier this past summer that I was given this individual's name and contact info. Clearly the advance toward readiness; was not undertaken in haste. I believe I was told she is based in England somewhere. A quick glance around her website reveals pricing in "British currency" that would seem to further indicate: "memory serves."
Why someone on the other side of the planet? To be honest, at this very moment, I'm not able to provide a particularly comprehensive answer. The friend that "introduced" her to me (who is also a writer and intending to work with her for her next project) is familiar with my book. I participated in a couple of different writing "circles" of hers. One was specifically dubbed an "Author's circle." We came together and shared with each other - parts of our book that we were currently working on, some presented or solicited reflection, on the crafting of their outlines etc. So she knows the concept of the book, she is familiar with my writing "style" and has even "witnessed;" some of the actual completed chapters.
So all I can say (he says after all the previous) is that based on our brief conversation - (which occurred while I was "busking") - I just had an immediate sense that this was the right person to work with. Of course now having just contacted her via email; to feel out her willingness to be that "right person," only time will tell, whether she vetoes or upholds "my gut."
The book is an introspective journey, that occurs while walking a labyrinth; as part of a daily practice for forty consecutive days. I "journaled" each day's insights. This is my largest writing project to date. The "readiness" factor has had nothing specifically to do with the writing of the book. It has been in it's current state of completeness for quite sometime. I suppose you could say that the ongoing preparedness, has been comprised of, the ongoing walking of the labyrinth of my life. Nothing I've done over this period of time existed on any sort of outline; which might have delineate the planned approach, to getting from beginning to end, of this project. Yet, I would submit, that all of it was necessary to, "get ready."
I can say at this point - there was a great deal of satisfaction and learning in the writing of the manuscript. However, that would fall significantly short, if I don't realize some form of completion. In order for this "book" to become a more visible presence - it will need to undergo significant scrutiny; to make it all that it can be. I am more ready than I've ever been (I realize now) to dance with that process.
I am better equipped to deal with the "rejection," criticism etc. that is apt to be part of the refinement process. I neither specifically prepared for this; nor would it be accurate to say, I look forward to such reflections. I acknowledge, my best work might be left "in the rough," without the experience and expertise of someone, in the know about such things.
I suppose what is shifting is my relationship with "rejection/criticism" and fears regarding the same. I have some relative separation, between me and the idea of being critiqued.
One of the most obvious objectives of walking the labyrinth, is navigating the path, until you reach the centre. The ensuing years, along with the experiences along the path of my life; since I walked and journaled the labyrinth experience, have been further transformational. I set about additionally flushing out the raw material of my journal, into "chapters." I created "suggested" self-exploration guideline questions, which appear at the end of each chapter. The events I have experienced throughout my life; since completing those processes, have further acquainted me with and expanded for me, my sense of "my centre." Is this now some unassailable fortification of self-assurance? No, that would not be my claim. Most certainly I can still continue to grow and expand. I think more accurately I can state overall, to being more "risk tolerant," with a greater knowing of resilience; qualities I would see, as being assets for some dream-weaving and manifestation.
I continue to want this for myself; consequently, even without knowing what the resumed pursuit will entail, I take that next step. Something is called for in order to do that. Doing that, will call for something further.
Somewhere I envision there is a "place" one would reside, that is neither solely concerned with recognition/visibility; but also, is both recognizable (as being of value/service to others) in which case, it would obviously be visible as well.
There are so many avenues and mediums (for the written word) one can access in this day and age - it may well be accurate to say there is unprecedented opportunity. I don't need to access them all. I trust that I along with my ongoing belief and faith, that has led me this far; the doors will continue to open and I will be pointed in the direction I'm meant to go. Really my only "task" is to get myself out of the way; therefore, I can be open to the guidance and opportunities as they present.
At the end of the day; whenever that is, I believe I will be more satisfied having embraced the urge to write and allowed the natural evolution of where that leads, to define itself. My having "taken the shot," might never be that impactful for anyone else.
But I'm convinced that having done so; regardless of outcomes, is already it's own reward!
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