Has the day dawned
Whereby reckoning
Can be commenced
That within
The shadows
Hidden in the love deprived
Recesses of my psyche
Reside
Judge, Jury & Executioner
What seed of
Shame, errant belief or misguided doctrine
Have I created or taken on
That would unconsciously
Have me behave in the world
In such a way
That I attract or am attracted to
Or create, situations
That lead to "punishment"
What will it take
To wear the skin
Of a man
For whom
Clemency has been granted
Can I make a simple decision
To transform the inner drum beat
From self
Retribution, persecution and sabotage
To that of self forgiveness?
Might a thinly veiled
Veneer of guilt
Be unravelled
And dissolved within
Reserves of inadequacy
Darkness of self-hatred
Fears and phobias
Labels and spells
Or will I walk myself
Down that last mile
Again & again
Each step shrouded
In the bleak grey
Clouds of resignation
A victim of my own hand
Which brings down the gavel
Delivers both verdict and sentence
Then weaves the rope
Readies the gallows
Standing then
At the ready
To through the lever
Which will
Forever silence my voice
and
Choke the life
From my truth
R. O'Neill (September 11, 2017
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