Comfortable Disturbance

I see your contempt

In fact I feel it

Not for long

I'll grant you..

And the pain

Of your 

Disdain

Is just 

One note

In cacophony  

Of agony

That I conduct

Daily

Yours is telling

But inconsequential

Dwarfed when 

Reflected against 

The magnitude

Of self-hatred

That shadows me

Through my eyes

That are dead 

To you

I see 

More than 

You imagine

Through 

Fleeting windows

I feel 

The pain 

You 

Won't acknowledge

It is unbearable 

We both

"Manage it" 

In our own 

Way

Though 

I have long

Since 

Given up 

Judging yours

No 

I actually 

Don't need to

"Just get a job.."

How, pray tell

Is your career path

Dealing with your

Visa balance?

I'm 

An inconvenient truth

While 

Providing 

A convenient scapegoat

I 

Represent & reflect

Those 

Areas of your life

That are spiralling 

Outside of your 

Control

Your pain 

Is immense

And 

Shame & secrecy

Run deep

But by all means

Keep it at bay

While you can

Though 

Sleep with 

One eye open

You are 

But one breath

Ahead

For my part

I can 

Only allow myself

To care

But a moment

Before 

The pain 

Beckons oblivion

I am

Your 

Addiction...

R. O'Neill (November 01, 2017)