To Me With Love

After conducting a lifestyle experiment (going without a car) for that past 2 1/2 years - after years of owning a driving a car; I have recently rejoined the ranks of "motorists." I had during the afore mention "carlessness," rentals while I was travelling & have been renting since returning home; to have the ease and convenience of transportation, to utilize for getting out & about with my book.  After having the restoration of freedom and ease of movement allowed by a car, I decided I wanted a car of my own again.

Even with the access to a car, I am far more inclined to continue to walk, use the bus or my bicycle where that is practical and convenient. I also am letting go of any notion that there exists any "altruism" in going with out one and that somehow makes me a more evolved stewart of the planet (or whatever other stories people spin about such things)..

I benefited from the extended period of time where I rediscovered a love of walking and cycling .. I don't enjoy always showing up somewhere bathed in the afterglow of these activities, nor continually being clad in clothing that is more conducive to those activities.

I let go of any programmed martyrdom or mistaken beliefs around any virtue obtained through the suffering of inconvenience, complications to logistics, confinement.

I out the ego and it's inclination to categorize (I am myself: who happens to utilize, a blend of: a car, public transportation, a bicycle and walking) - I don't "identify" as "a motorist," a "cyclist," a "commuter," or a pedestrian..) I won't join crusades that focus exclusively on the needs of any of these movement special interest groups.. I am aware of the pros & cons of all of them.

It is not "more spiritual" to engage in any one of them.. It is not "more spiritual.." to do anything - it's not a competition. If you are happy doing something (and it generally brings about no harm to others then do it and enjoy it) - nobody else "needs" to do it - to validate your choice. Nor are you a "better" person than anyone else by virtue of that choice.

If you are making a choice and living it (primarily for the optics) all the while hating it, you are out of alignment with yourself. The "universe" won't reward you for the depths of your "sacrifice." The universe is not looking for sacrifice; that is something you are thrusting on yourself - it might be an interesting exploration to inquire into why that is so.

The car I had rented over the few months being back in town, I was really enjoying - I decided that some version of that was going to be where I began my search. It is a North American manufacturer of long-standing (& though American made cars weren't particularly competitive in the smaller car classes with the various Asian suppliers - they are now producing a decent car).

The lower entry level pricing means one could then consider further "bells and whistles" at a lower price point.

"New/used" - well I'm not enamoured with "twisting wrenches" at all. A basic adjustment or assembly of something ... maybe. Working on cars - I'm not even vaguely interested in, so I want reliability. This starts to weed out used vehicles in my mind - particularly as I wasn't in need of a "used car" price. Besides the technology that is part of most all newer cars now .... has reduced the number of "backyard mechanics" (even in the ranks of those that are that way inclined).

So then, the entry level line of vehicles would get me there, just as sure as the more premium vehicles.. but then again - why would I settle?

How many times have a settled for something in my life, I wasn't that excited about at the onset, but I "talked myself into it...?" How often was that pep talk effective at creating lasting satisfaction? The answers are, too many to count & pretty much never (respectively).

So this car (metaphorically) represents "I'm not settling for just anything..." I'm allowing myself - what I want! (not what's "more practical," not "what I should have...."

This choice doesn't mean anything in terms of my "status.." There is no virtue in "affluence.." and there most certainly is no virtue, in poverty.

Nothing wrong with owning a modestly priced, well-maintained vehicle - but there's nothing superior about it either.

I am blessed to be in the position to do this at this place in my life. I know full well that nothing from the outside can bring me fulfillment or happiness. But that doesn't mean, I need to go through life accepting the "short end of the stick," & and always settling for the crumbs.

Who I am, is someone growing in the ability to love himself. I can enjoy nice things and not be attached to them. I can invite ease and comfort into my life without "identifying with it.."

What of those that would present - the life of poverty of the likes of Jesus or the Buddha as being the criteria by which a "spiritual life" is to be led? Well I would submit that these spiritual teachers/guides had large networks of people that underwrote their work - so they didn't need to concern themselves with generating income.

Money (having it or not) is not more or less spiritual and awareness of ones inner "wealth & prosperity" is in my estimation far more valuable. Beyond that - do no harm and have what you please!