Framed in a self-loving embrace and expressed in an energy of empathy, this observation brings me great joy and gratitude.
It's taken me until very recently to learn that two locally owned, significantly large bookstores, have declined my book. While I'm perhaps not "celebrating" this realization, I am not discouraged in the least. Oh sure I ran the gamut of thoughts such as: Harrumph!! "Local bookstore - doesn't even support a local author..." (which of course isn't exactly true .. there are books on their shelves, written by several local personalities (most that had attained, some form of "public recognition" before the release of their book).
I was anonymous when I participated in the practice, that became the incubator, for the story held within my book (all of which took place - "locally") I was anonymous while I wrote it, and I'm still anonymous now having self-published it; and locating myself somewhere, on the path to "marketing/distribution."
"Fame," bestseller lists, are not necessarily the be all to end all. I am all for, my book (or future books) opening doors of opportunity (which mine already has). But I certainly don't consider it a "failure," if it never attains these specific bench-marks.
I know the book has already touched lives and been a useful tool; I don't need to jump through hoops, in order for that to have occurred. I haven't really looked into avenues of broader publishing or distribution. I certainly don't want to define my success, or hang the fate of the book, on the arbitrary criteria of publishing houses. It can serve no one in their reject piles. At the same time, where it does receive a thumbs down reception, I can further journey with my own relationship (where "rejection" is concerned). I know the book is good, my approval (as well as my discernment and critical eye) are more important than any outside approval.
The book has a trajectory of its own.. determined on-going, by the energies that brought it into being. I will trust that.
The sentiment reflected at the opening of this post reminds me - that my life path, that led to the creation of this book, and continues to this very day, was a broad, eclectic mosaic of life experiences; many of which, appeared at the time, to have been glorious pratfalls. In my writing I have never hid my past, nor attempted to represent myself has something I'm not. In part, the book is meant to reflect that despite my past - I went on, to realize one of my dreams. I expect that to be directly inspirational to others. I'm going to enjoy my journey regardless of the external trappings of success being present or not. The point being, that nobody else's definition of success, is going to define mine. And I'm living proof that the past doesn't need to continue to inform the present and future.
Whether one considers their past to be riddled with failure, the fact remains, it can be harnessed and transformed, to underwrite the current realization of your visions. In fact, some of the inner qualities you will need moving forward, were honed while something of your past, was imploding in your midst.
To borrow from the realm of sports metaphors, generally the leaders on the stat sheets in home-runs and runs batted in (RBI), often have high strike out numbers as well. They are "swinging for the fence" most time at bat. Which means, when then connect squarely, that ball is gone! When they miss, they damn near twist themselves into the ground.
No swing (and accompanied misses) no home run!!
R. O'Neill (Aug. 20,2018)
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