Wednesday, 20 November 2019

It's (He)LL in here........



While staring 
At my reflection
Devoid
Of Narcisstic concern
Though
Not lacking
In awareness
Of your assumptions

I wonder
At what place
And
At what time
Did 
So many stories
Become
Solidified
Activated
By only 
A glimpse
After which
I'm 
Left to anguish
Exiled 
In the prison
Of your
Projection

It begins
With gender

But should it?

Appear 
As some representation
Of male......

I'm still unfolding
Subtilties 
&
Mystery
In 
This 
Regard

You're
So "sure"
You've built
A box

Are you interested
In 
What I'm 
Considering
About
My "gender" assignment?

If not, why not?

Shaved head, piercing, tattoos

"He" must be:

A felon
A white-supremacist
 A terrorist
A "biker"

"Quick notify the neighbourhood watch 
Phone network"

I do 
Ride a motorcycle
Even a "Harley"

The shop
Sells a myriad 
Of
Sew on patches
One 
Says: $15,000.00
&
A leather jacket
DOESN'T
Make you
A "biker"

The bikers say
I don't belong
I wasn't 
Striving
For this
Identification

I love 
To ride
My leather 
Is black
Frankly -
I'd prefer
A different colour
If 
I had 
The option

It's designed
To give 
Some hope
Of skin 
Remaining intact
Should one
Find themselves
Sliding along
The roadway
I'd
Love some
Flair 
But I'll take
The protection

Look at "him"
"He" started patriarchy ya know!!
Yup, violence & war
"He'll be there
For Godess sake
There's "He"
In "Hell"
If
No war or violence
Pre-existed
"He'll start it
Oppression, famine, pestilence, slavery
Him, him..... him & him

Did I tell you
In my heart
Yearn for 
Peace

Oh, "he's a coward
- Unpatriotic
- A communist
-Bleeding heart
"Not really,
A man at all!!"
"He has no ambition"
"Spineless"

Ah, didn't I say....

Oh right
You don't care..

Why 
Is your definition
More
Valid than mine?
Even 
When you happen
To identify
Other than male?

If 
I proclaim
Banner "Male"
What
A load 
Of baggage
I'm assumed
To own
or
Be willing 
To carry

Tell ya what..
If
I'm going to carry it
I
Will decide
What is in it!!

I wonder
Has it 
Ever been considered
The "cost"
To 
Heart & soul
To live
Ideals such as:
Business tycoon
War "hero"
Sports legend
Entertainment Superstar

Or
The devastation
Realized
At not 
Attaining 
Any of them?

In
Many cases
One 
Is fucked
Either way.

A
Wave of relief
I was informed
Of
A washroom "code"
At the start
Of my 
Restaurant visit
Post meal
I still remembered
The code
Without having
To ask again!!

In the restroom
Along with
One additional
Patron
Whom was successful
At activating
The automatic
Towel dispenser

Mine 
Mocked
My very existence
Paper towels
DENIED!!!

Aren't 
Such mechanical
Prowess
Imprinted
On my DNA?

Exit first
Patron number one
Not without
My face saving
Theatrics

Got towels
From the 
"Other" machine

Waving at 
The first machine
On the way out
It dispensed me
A towel

This 
Really isn't
My circus
I'm not 
The boss 
Of it.....

In my
Younger life
I've been
Scorned 
and/or
Humiliated
For walking in
The "wrong" bathroom

Now the bathrooms
Are "gender neutral"
WTF??
How am I
To cope
With that?


R. O'Neill (November 20, 2019)

No comments:

Post a Comment