I awake with the question upon my mind "am I then, my brother's keeper?" - for the record, I am neither author nor oracle of the phrase - it is sourced from the "Old Testament" - (Genesis 4.9 KJV bible).
Lately, suicide is on my mind. It's not the only thing on my mind - but it is among a myriad of subjects that occupy my contemplation. For clarifications sake - I'm not contemplating my own suicide. I have over thirty years of "additional time" walking the planet; since my daily thoughts were around the premeditation, of just that. This took place over a period of time, of about a couple of months, culminating in what I deem; a spiritual experience the night before the day, I had determined was to be my last.
Articles on the incidence of suicide (the latest of which include) indigenous communities in Brazil and another, for those in Canada, are being brought to my attention - daily. As too, are those on matters pertaining to addiction.
During my most recent trip to Europe which included two and six weeks in Slovenia and Ireland respectively. Though these journeys were filled with beautiful experiences of connection, mysticism, were ancestrally and therefore personally meaningful; I was also made aware of the spectres of addiction and suicide in these cultures as well. I purposefully wandered into environments that assured; I would not come away with only the grandeur, of a tourist's rose coloured perspective.
I am not in any way, shape or form intent on giving any culture or group of humanity a black eye. I refuse to perpetuate cultural stereotypes and the stigma of any of the known afflictions associated with the human condition. I suppose my venturing to where "darkness" exists is in part - to "keep it real" - to remember where I came from and because I'm more inclined to believe now; who better to go there, than someone that is "not afraid of the dark" whose occupation of the shame, isolation, despair and hopelessness therein - perhaps provides the unique "qualifications" to be the light; long enough, to lead those looking for the way out, to discover they are their own light.
So I suppose the biblical reference comes to me because the consideration of the question is personally relevant. Words to me have a great deal of power. Certainly not the only means one can "communicate" or receive communication. Words to me are alive... or maybe I might say they can be enlivened... It's entirely possible that my use of words (written and spoken) is still under-going a vast developmental process. The reason I say this is because - from what I call, a certain point of reference I see so much more than what is conveyed in the literal words. They are "the finger pointing at the moon..." There is depth, layers, expansive teaching - all of which doesn't remain static. They are situationally and can be personal and uniquely interpreted. Often when I write I have this expanded multi-dimensional experience and view, of what it is I'm writing (I'm so sure that the words convey this ... how could they not - I'm in it, as I'm writing it?) However, in both my speaking and writing, I'm not sure, I successfully get all of this across.
There are those that are not "prepared" to receive - just as it would be true to say in some instances, that the time is not right, for me to receive the intended transmissions of a particular teacher or passage of work. I both acknowledge the truth of this and at the same, time I consider; that it is my development, that will lead to what I convey, being more accessible.
So then are "we,"our brother's keeper? I cannot answer that for anyone else. I can only consider further what that asks of me. It certainly occurs to me that my "dodging the bullet" of addiction and suicide, doesn't necessarily give me a "get out of jail free card;" like I'm playing some cosmic game of monopoly. Do I have all the answers? No, but then again, the realities of my story; might just be inspiring to those in similar circumstances; or even those that consider themselves, to be in some immutable situations where they believe, there is no way out.
There are those that are so deeply ensconced in the three dimensional materialistic world view; that if they consider those that take their own life at all - it is from the viewpoint of this same mindset - i.e. "fucking losers." This is not a statement of conjecture, I have heard these very words in conversation. I think it safe to say without some radical change of heart, these individuals won't look to becoming part of the solution. And, maybe they are not meant to - I have no idea what anyone else is here to do.
I just can't help thinking ... of those whose lives are ended prematurely (which I suppose is an assumption of mine) - for the purpose of this discussion, I will suggest it be assumed that a life ended by one's own hand, has been cut "short;" what gifts, talents and service would they have brought to humanity? What is the source of their pain; a pain so complete and profound, that suicide seems the only viable option? Why when in so many places in the world - where suicide is being described as occurring in "epidemic" proportions, is it being allowed to become "normalized" and not addressed as a regional, national or international emergency?
I'm not saying there are not good people giving their all to this matter. Nor is this some "call to action" to others. Like much of my writing this is an interplay of what I observe in the world outside of me and that of the universe that occurs within me.
If what I write is found to be provocative - great! It seems to me I can ill-afford to live in complacency and apathy any longer. I am not suffering under the illusion of any messiah complex but neither do I believe in personal powerlessness.
Just today on my email, through a list I'm subscribed to, came this quote " What a man can be, he must. This we call Self-Actualization." - Abraham Maslow.
First of all - consider the "timing" of this coming my way. Yes, I did and I am. Second, it says "what a man/woman can be, he/she (italics mine) must be...... not "could be"or "might consider being" ... MUST!! I believe ignoring this "directive" - is absolutely an option, free will choice comes into play. However, I also believe if it is ignored, a profound suffering is evoked; not as a "punishment," but rather, the individuals soul - "knows" what could be realized - but is not. So free will is upheld, a "choice" is in effect; the consequences of which generate a soul-angst, that I'm going to suggest, is the definition of "hell."
Nothing I'm saying, will I claim to be "universally true." I will claim that I am actively seeking and open to, my ongoing evolution. I believe that to both be; occurring and a contributing factor, to the evolution of human consciousness. I am both benefactor and recipient. I continue to contribute to some of the "problems" in the world, while I seek the answers and contribute to the resolution of other "problems."
I always write authentically from my own experience, - which often includes references to past, present and future; all in the same submission.
I have deep appreciation of the knowing that there continues to be those that read what I share into the world. If this is you, read it, spin it, consider it, share it, disagree with it, delete it, laugh at it - It's all fair play... I'm blessed to have been inspired to explore and pursue this avenue... How it is received in the world, cannot be allowed to impede, it's continued presentation.
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