Field Trip

"What is your field of study," I inquired in conversation. Then I drifted off in my thoughts to the prestige afforded those; that have a field within which they have focused considerable energy and attention, to  have "accredited" themselves, through what they studied.

What of someone that "studied," in a field? By which I don't mean a biologist or botanist, zoologist, or even a anthropologist or herbalist. Just simply someone; that spent time contemplating life, death, matters of existentialist concern, while; in a field. Given they are there anyway, certainly; they might come to know more of the day to day occurrences, taking place in the field. But they aren't there to notice anything specifically.

Rumi speaks of being "in a field beyond  righ-doing and wrong-doing...." Was he in a field at the time? Good chance he was in a field at some point. Why would anyone care what Rumi has to say about being in a field...  or anything for that matter? Well in part because he's Rumi; on the other hand there may well be, many who have never heard of him. Even if so, and they have a Rumi desk calendar; how many would openly admit to want to follow in the footsteps of Rumi (to the field or elsewhere?)

There are probably more people in the western world; that would be more interested in how many "units" of Rumi calendars or books could be sold, than what they contain, or to acquaint themselves with any part of his life, with regard to how he gained the insights, contained within "his" calendars.

How have "we"drifted so far, from a spiritual centre which would serve as, an anchor and compass? I'm not even referring specifically, to a "moral compass" nor anything related specifically to the mainstream religions. I'm talking about a more widely held collective view of the connection of all life, which is not an orientation, many of the churches uphold. While various scandals and crimes against humanity associated with various churches, are being exposed and further investigated ... will these churches be able to maintain their followers, never mind attract newcomers? Despite some "spirituality" being frequently seen synonymously with religion; there are those that make a distinction, and there are apparently in increasingly greater numbers, those that are seeking more meaning in their lives, through various "spiritual" avenues.

I don't hold the collective in judgement or condemnation. From my own experience my own "score-cards" were bereft of anything remotely spiritual and at numerous other levels of being, the score read zero as well. I guess there is gratefully some truth in - "once you hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go but up." Of course it's possible to see "rock bottom" as a challenge for further excavation... what I discovered was I was being asked to delve into the how's and why's of how I came to locate myself at said bottom ... not to conclude, "oh I'm pretty sure, I could dig a deeper hole ..."

Seen from this experience I reason, if I had to "hit the bottom" before it occurred to me to seek a spiritual answer - maybe I'm not the only one. Maybe the collective humanity is ushering itself "to the bottom..." in order to build on new bedrock.

What if at this point we were to (for the rest of the post) presume there to be no need for me to provide endless empirical evidence for everything expressed. I will state up front, that clearly "the Creator" gave us minds to use; so I'm not suggesting they be abandoned. By the same token, stark rationalism/intellectualizing and logic; without any temperance in compassion, leads to a great many atrocities. So maybe this basis of seeking truth or proving the soundness of laws governing the universe, is not the be all to end all.

After much deliberation on my part which might be seen as "useful" and not at all unlike, sitting in a field studying. From the outside looking in; it might have appeared not a great deal was going on, but believe me, I was studying. Day and night. What was I studying? I suppose at different places in time I would have called it different things. "Trying to figure out how to "do life - Right!!" "There's Got to Be More to it Than This!!" or "A Better Way.." Eventually it might more accurately be defined as - "For the love of God this hurts... now... it's, about this matter of God??"

 I don't happen to believe in a linear, quantifiable and therefore measurable existence of pain. So when I say, my reasons for a resistance to God and religion might have had "less" in the way of negative association; that's more an expression of what I didn't experience, rather than any minimizing, of the resistance or comparison to anyone else's suffering. I simple believe there is nothing to compare.

Eventually even after following what would have been seen by many as a typical life trajectory, some post secondary education (which I suppose was made perhaps somewhat less typical; as it was pursued and even ultimately successfully completed, when some of my addiction was full-blown) career-path, marriage, home, dog etc. Though my pursuit of spirituality commenced in the midst of the a fore mention trajectory; it was when what led to most all of those anchors and structures in my life dissolving, that a heighten fervour was ignited. The catalyst was a continued profound pain and discontent within myself. Before I could "bring that home" I erroneously concluded, that all the source of angst existed outside of myself.

Though it doesn't hold true for me across the board, my pursuit of spirituality, personal growth, healing etc. took on an "all or nothing approach..." It would seem I was intent on taking "time out" to get somewhere.... and surely a full immersion approach will get me there sooner..!! Of course the irony of that, would be revealed somewhere along the way, that - "there is no where to get to...." Would I have come to know this .. if I just "stayed where I was?" Well ... for many years of this pursuit I didn't leave the town I was born and raised in. So the "quest" - is not necessarily geographical in nature ... though traveling could be included. The journey is internal ... so staying or going, is not necessarily a pivotal element.. I would say more important is a desire and commitment toward change - internal change.

Now during some of these extremes polarities swings in terms of circumstances,  I experienced rather severe disruption of cash flow - so I am familiar with the challenges that presents. I'm not discounting the "value" money plays in our society.

Albert Einstein was venerated for his contributions to "science;" yet he might have been better represented as a spokesperson - ahead of his time, with regard to speaking as though the wall between science and spirituality didn't exist.. He said; ""Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."

The unbridled pursuit of "capital" and the absolute disconnect that creates it and sustains it; I'm suggesting, are examples of just what Einstein was speaking about.

It's why many people couldn't care less about a story of complete spiritual transformation but if I told them - I went from the street kitchen, to now, listening to meditation tracks while I drive around in my BMW.. it might peak some interest. Many more might humour me with regard to the meditation waiting to hear more about the car. I know the "rags to riches" tale has all kinds of allure and while I'm not saying it doesn't represent a significant focused effort on the part of the protagonist of that story; it really only holds that appeal, because of the meme that suggests "rich good - poor bad.." - it's simply not true. Nor is the reverse true, there is no "virtue" in being poor. 

An analogy that used to be spoken around the A.A. rooms was - "if you a drunken horse-thief - suddenly sobers up... but doesn't himself, then all you've got, is a sober horse-thief." Same with the "rich person - poor person" scenario. You can buy more stuff - with a bank account full of money but no true inner peace can be attained - just through more stuff. No more than having a Rumi desk calendar makes you a Sufi. A complete lack of integrity could be present whether rich or poor.

There's all kinds of dualism represented in this account as there are operating in the world. Unbridled rationalism and capitalism are not the answer. Nor am I suggesting that everyone needs to seek a conversion experience in a cave somewhere.

No amount of popular consensus would take away from the "work" necessary to examine one's self (heart and soul). I would like to see ... more encouragement for people to seek a heart centered path and yes.. even a system that values such pursuit, as to make it viable and sustainable. I'm not talking about austerity and endless suffering. 

What I am saying is that all the disconnection, pain, addiction, etc. stems from an over-valuing (read worshipping) of the material. Neglected souls and hearts (which manifests in the world as various forms and levels malaise - which benefits no one but drug corporations is epidemic in proportion).

Laugh if you will about the idea of sitting in the middle of a field - then consider what are you afraid you might hear from yourself, if you left the racket behind for awhile? If not the field, consider the forest, or the mountain, or the seaside, how about the park? 

More long week-ends, less "dead"- lines (what is the relationship between dead-lines and flat-lines?) More naps - less rush hour (have you ever seen the "winner" of the rat-race on any podium?)
Can too much "get it done" lead to, coming undone?
When alone - is there a stranger in your midst?
Is over-achiever an asset or a malady?
More day dreaming - less nightmares?
More heart-centered - less heart attacks?

How about the new cocktail party opening line transformed : Instead of "What field are you in?"
"What depth have you realized while in the (your) field?"