With all the uncertainty, I would say, that as is often the case, in "our" society; the assignment of heroism is often misguided, (or at least only accurate, when seen through a particular lens). As usual, the "unsung" heroes, are toiling away unrecognized, & in this case quite possibly, being vilified; by those convinced that their way is "the right way," and therefore once again, the "us against them" struggle rears its head. Not a new occurrence by any means.
Anyway while debates rage about who the true heroes are.. I have sat today, pondering the fragility of the human psyche (clearly not without personal bias) and admittedly, through the lens of myself in isolation.
Today has been an all time low for me, since this whole Covid phenomenon; escalated to the point where the now all too familiar dubious restrictions, have been put in place. So while others are busy hugging themselves and shitting on their neighbours, I have been asking myself questions, regarding in exactly what ways, has a "victim consciousness" played out in my life. Considering the level of shaming going on publicly and privately, through the media, the fear-mongering and persecuting; it is pretty clear that, that which I find in my own shadow, is also part and parcel, of the shadow of the collective.
I want to be clear with regard to any part of me, trying to tell me, that circumstances are being acted out toward, me or that I have no power, or agency in my own life. That includes far more than the current "pandemic" scenario. The inner terrain of my psyche was assembled long before this deal came to town - so Covid isn't the cause of my mental state; (at any given time) but it certainly over time, is proving to be the catalyst, that is putting me in touch with all of me, "the good, the bad, and the ugly."
I am no accredited expert on the human condition - though I have spent sixty plus years living it. I have spent countless hours in rooms and circles, with therapists (of different ilks) and reading from a broad spectrum of disciplines, all addressing different facets of the same thing - being human.
None that I have come across, suggest that isolation is in any way, shape or form, conducive to wellness. I have worked in health care for over forty years .. I have seen the effects of isolation, immobilization, depression and lack of mental, emotional, intellectual stimulation.
I know first hand the darkness and utter despair of hopelessness, loneliness/isolation, spiritual/emotional deprivation.
Does anyone really think, that being able to line up for hours to patronize the local Walmart is actually life-sustaining. Before Covid the employees there, were among the western world's working poor, exploited, over-worked/under-compensated. Does anyone actually believe that the working conditions have in any way improved for them? Now they have irate shoppers with the intention of hoarding toilet paper, screaming at them because the shelves are empty?
Libraries, recreation centres (in some cases) parks closed - liquor stores OPEN for business!!! People have been dying in nursing homes for years ... overwhelmingly, the deaths being attributed to Covid are in these same demographics (without actually verifying the "cause of death") - residents are subject to a reduced quality of life while alive and perhaps their deaths are dishonoured as false statistics. The working/living conditions, in many care facilities, has been deplorable for decades. Health care workers, have been trying to get the attention of anyone that might listen - most of which has fallen on deaf ears!! Chronic understaffing, out of control overtime, highest rates of workplace injuries of any profession, food and house-keeping services privatized (there's a couple of sage places to cut corners - hospital cleanliness and patient nutrition!!!).
Protect the vulnerable (including those that must show up to care for them) Then do something about a society that sees as normal, environmental degradation, unchecked development and destruction of eco-systems, toxic water, air, land - GMO foods, bio-engineering, ever-escalating costs of living and wage inequities and socio-economic disparities.
There is nothing fucking normal, about a society that has accepted homelessness and escalating mental health and addiction numbers. These people are seen as "losers" for their inability to "cope," with a world that is not fit for human habitation. In my view their only "crime," was that they maintained the sensitivity, to feel their own pain (and the pain of humanity) which became overwhelming and they chose to seek comfort.
Now people by the hundreds (thousands even) are clambering to have "their" world, return to a status quo, that is comfortable enough for them, to stuff their heads back up their collective asses; and anybody, that doesn't agree with what they think, will allow them to do so, is shamed, denigrated and if some accounts are true ... arrested??
"We" might may be sharing space here on planet earth while all this is occurring, but that is a far cry from "being in this together." I've heard accounts of people starving themselves to death in care, because they were no longer permitted, to have visitors and they themselves were thrust into isolation (? Care facilities). Who exactly, is along with those dying alone?? What makes anyone think that these draconian strategies of enforced isolation, are in anybody's best interest. People suffering from mental health issues, have always been under-served, under-resourced, abused, neglected. All this isolation will have the numbers burgeoning. Will their lives and subsequent deaths, only serve to feed a false narrative of Covid death tolls? Will the over-arching embrace of complacency, simply number them among the collateral damage, of the "war on Covid 19?" Or worse serve some maniacal agenda of "de-population?"
How many believe, that compliance with what is rapidly being shown, to be an inappropriate response, is acceptable, because they believe they will live to tell their version of, "I survived the Pandemic of 2020" assuming they will be unscathed, by the methodology, they so dogmatically upheld? (forgetting that, those that live by the sword, die by the sword!!)
"Be the change," one wishes to see in the world (said Mahatma Gandhi) - of course he, as is true with many of histories rebels, mavericks, messengers, avatars, teachers, sages, saints etc. gave his life trying to speak a "counter-cultural" message. What is "right" is often or even never, seen as "popular."
For me letting go of a victim's role (involves first acknowledging that it has been so - not a very attractive prospect I'll grant you) Our society is rife with it..... but it's seldom spoke of. Next would be realizing that, being free of it means; living in such a way, that I don't place myself in the position to be "victimized." This means, an end to "people-pleasing," following the crowd, it certainly doesn't mean one will be popular, or forgo persecution, criticism, slander, character assassination, maybe even death.
The question then becomes: does one live out their life - upholding a lie (my answer is, self-deception has been it's own form of excruciating isolation) or as the Rabbi Yeshua taught - "the truth will set you free." I suppose it remains to be seen if that "freedom," can be attained here on planet earth, while in human form.
R. O'Neill (May 17, 2020)
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