I don't intend to make the Covid "pandemic" the entire focus of this post .... though its prevalence as an event, will likely have it weaving in. I certainly can't say I'm not affected. I don't know if anyone that follows this blog, would be around to correlate the data - but just the same, I'm going to go on a limb as saying, if my time to pass over comes anytime soon, it "The Virus" will not have been my ticket to ride. Not that it will make any difference to me at that point - but just on general principle, if anyone cares to know the cause of my passing, don't let anyone tell you, there was a smoking gun at the scene, with Corona fingerprints on it.
From my standpoint, it has got so ridiculous, and so distorted at this point, that one could be hit and killed by the proverbial bus; and if an autopsy/lab analysis were undertaken, (which in the vast number of cases never happens) and there was found, to be in any way, shape or form, some trace of Corona exposure - the death certificate would read, "cause of death: Corona Virus Covid 19. When in fact, it was the B.C. Transit Quadra bus #6. All day everyday, there could be detected some or many microbial presences (some that were indeed "pathogenic") it doesn't mean, they can be implicated in the cause of death.
While I'm on the topic, another few, of what I deem to be absurdities: directional arrows in grocery stores? First of all, if this thing is so transmittable, does the direction one walks down the aisle, really make them any safer? The premise is, there will be no one walking, the other direction and therefore, you are assured safe distancing. It does nothing to prevent the people coming up the same aisle from behind, to go around you, when you stop to look at something (they are passing within the same distancing which someone walking the opposite direction would be). People certain aren't going to line up to get in and then, walk single file through the aisles, stopping each time, the person/s ahead of them stop. Do people thing the "Coronas" are marching around, in single file and following directional arrows?
When the whole arrow thing was established, at one of the local stores I shop at (which when I encountered it, it was a change that didn't exist the previous time I was there)... I went to go past a guy waiting in the check out line, so that I could distance line up behind him and he gave me shit for not following the arrows - "that were installed for guys like him" (I don't even know what that means)... my visual observation was, that he was about six foot three inches tall, two hundred and fifty or sixty pounds and wearing a mask... So what am I to deduce from his "guys like me.." statement (without question, my sardonic/sarcastic & just plain disagreeable wheels were turning) I reeled that all in and told him I was pretty sure he'd be alright. For fuck-sake, he was the one wearing the mask!! They are selling out, second only, to toilet paper and being touted as a go-to "defence." Maybe buddy should have been wearing two or three of them - simply walking past him (absolutely no physical contact and walking as far to my right as the grocery shelving would allow me (which I might add, put us at least as far apart, as the footprints, stores have gone to great length and expense to install, to give a visual, of how far is appropriate, for distancing..
While I'm on the matter of distancing, what I observe is getting the lion share of "distancing" is: common sense, autonomy, critical thinking, consideration and freedom of choice. Every day, seems to be expanding the chasm between where "we" are and where we were; as though those shopping centre directional arrows, have got society as a whole marching in unison to God only knows where. "They've gone to great length to place those arrows down - surely it is for the greater good??? (I wouldn't count on that....) My hope is that this preliminary experience doesn't go on to entirely define humanity (at large, or mine personally).
Look how quick plexiglass shields were erected, virtually anywhere that is open. I happen to know, that locally, the bus drivers were lobbying the company for quite sometime, to have protective shields around the driving "cockpit" of the bus, to prevent them from being physically assaulted .. certainly couldn't be done in a timely fashion - nothing but stonewalling and bullshit. Now enter an invisible "enemy," that no one actually knows the virulence of, and shields are materializing faster, than the Star ship enterprise crossing into Romulan territory.
At a time in history when youth have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (which in previous generations was unheard of) - inactivity and excess body weight are contributing factors - playgrounds, basketball courts, rec. centres closed!! But wait, liquor stores are open (and considered essential) since when did alcohol consumption, become part of a wellness model (except in the minds of Seagrams and Johnny Walker).
Wear a mask, take another vaccine (when it becomes available) by all means, exercise your freedom of choice to look after yourself - then stay the hell, out of the business of others, to do the same for themselves.
Don't continue to advocate for genetically modified, chemically treated, processed food, alcohol consumption, ecological degradation to land, sea and air and any number of long-standing "socially-acceptable" ways that immune systems are compromised, and then tell me, I have to wear a mask. Fuck you!
This now segues, into the idea, that had me sit down to write today. It was impressed (once again) on me that in the case of "a writer" they write "everyday." I have gone for long periods where this was true. I have also allowed the "practice" to wane to a more intermittent rhythm, and dwindle to nothing at all.
Some of the prevailing "reasons" could include: "I didn't feel like it," "I didn't have anything to say (or write about), what I may write is "not good enough..." - to name but a few.
Well now, to address them in the order they presented: If I waited until I "felt like" writing (or many things for that matter) it may well never happen! Any one that has ever met me, knows that I've always got something to say (even if I'm sitting quietly, I'm always observing, considering, contemplating, noticing, questioning etc.) As for being "good enough," well I might ask, for whom?
I will let myself off the hook and allow myself full permission, to not write for anyone, but myself. I can categorically state, that too much of my lifetime, has been spent, remaining silent or massaging what I was going to say, in order to cater to a particular audience. Well that's not going to define my writing. I'm no politician I don't need votes. I'm not vying for publishing by some scientific (or "spiritual") community, so I need not meet their criteria. I'm not aiming to appease Pulitzer committees or climb best-selling lists - should this ever be the case, it will occur, based on what I've got to say, not on how I phrase, what someone else wants me to say.
My writing (whether it has been entirely true in the past or not) is to find, represent, and express authentically my view. That doesn't mean I will necessarily hold dogmatically to one way of seeing things.... but I won't acquiesce to someone else's "butt-naked" emperor, and wax endlessly, about the fine garments he's wearing.
"Social distancing" is not new to me. I have spent vast amounts of time - alone. Sometimes isolating. Sometimes in glorious solitude and deep contemplation. Sometimes wallowing in self-pity. Sometimes spending an inordinate amount of time, entertaining thoughts that could be said to have been of no earthly good to anyone (including me). Sometimes educating myself. Sometimes listening to or making music. Sometimes connected to nature.
I have the same universal human needs as the rest of humanity - but I can no longer surrender my voice, trying to "win friends and influence people." There is no use in depending on others for continuous bolstering, nor will their disapproval, spell ones demise. Nobody's company is worth the selling out of ones soul (including mine). I've been alone before, I'll be alone again. I've been alone while engaged in, what might otherwise be considered, deeply intimate. I've been alone in the company of tens of thousands of people. It is these combined experiences that inform me, that I might find my view, in the experiences, I'm having and the mirroring of those around me - but it is my time alone, that has demonstrating to me, that when I locate my voice and choose to speak it, the "threat" of being left alone - is not cause to stay silent, nor that I was wrong to express it.
I love to read. There have been endless hours spent expanding my awareness through the ideas of others. There would also have been untold numbers of hours that I spent believing that if I absorb just the right amount of the views of all these "great" minds, hearts and souls... That somehow I'm going to be okay, enlightened and somehow of greater value (loveable).
While this field of pursuit has given me vast areas to explore in, that I might not otherwise have considered, or even been aware of; it's not a question of, whether I agree or disagree, with the views and beliefs of others. I've never felt any further assurance, trying to echo their sentiments. "Strength in numbers," is not always true for me. No man's an island - but "going along to get along," doesn't always denote "union" either.
I don't actually believe that "being in this together," is synonymous with everyone approaching it the same way.
It's not how nature operates.
And surely by now, it's become clear, that opposing the laws of nature, has never gone well. (Maybe not..)
Maybe this is the advanced class, of those particular lessons??
R. O'Neill (May 14, 2020)
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