I'm sitting on what came to be for me hallowed grounds of the Christ Church Cathedral (the Anglican Cathedral in Victoria, B.C. Canada - directly across from the "Millennium Labyrinth" which is the very one I utilized for the forty day practice that lead to the writing of my book - "What Goes Around Comes Around."
As you can see, I still keep coming around. Now, these grounds were sacred, long before I was inspired to undertake that journey. As I mentioned somewhere in the book I'm guessing the multiple generations of congregants that attend this church find strength, comfort, hope or maybe just a good nap. Of course long before this edifice was constructed, the grounds were part of an entire region, held sacred to the Lekwungen People's (still are). Overtures of reconciliation are discussed, hearing conducted, treaty's negotiated, to what end? I don't know, I have a part to play and, it's for greater minds than mine to resolve (most things are).
Inside the cathedral there are not only the icons of religiosity but the flags that represent various British/Canadian military factions in a strange mix of "do unto others as I (and as you would have others) do unto you & the colonialist manifestos of "might is right.." ("we took it therefore it's ours now to do with as we please, no doubt somewhere along the line claiming it was "God's will;" in a bizarre transposition of responsibility that continues to unfold a legacy of pain and suffering.
Not the God I subscribe to, however, it's not mine to play God and tell anyone else what they should believe.
In a reading I was doing today Richard Rohr was discussing attributes of Francis and Clare of Assisi - in this case simplicity. He quoted Francis as saying, "a man has not yet given up everything for God as long as he has held on to the moneybag of his own opinions."
Well that fell squarely in the, didn't know it before opening the post, but that is something I really needed to read!" Which doesn't mean it will be easy for me to accept, embody and enact - but one must start somewhere.
With regard to "opinions," I would say I've often been aware that those of others annoy me (clearly as I write this it's indicative that I "have" and opinion. I would say at least some of the time, I've offered mine in a sincere desire to be helpful (why I would think my "good intentions" don't provide a share of the paving stones on that road to hell, I'm not sure), other times (many times - alas too many times) I've just wanted to be RIGHT! Not content to "live and let live," determining the opinion of another so unconscionable - I set out to eradicate it from consciousness (yes, I'm now painfully aware there was another being delivering that opinion that didn't have in mind, becoming collateral damage to my self-righteousness.
How often then is my opinion nothing more than some weave of my reptilian survival mechanisms launching a full frontal assault in order to keep me safe? Once again, too often!! I do owe a debt of gratitude to my defence mechanisms, I wouldn't be here to ponder any of it otherwise.
I'm also realizing more and more, this aging militia of mine need to stand down.
What is it that is being defended ... well I'm looking at that whole package face on. All the remnants of my childhood trauma - to be sure, they required defending. But now at this ripe old age I should be sitting in some spiritual equivalent of the "Legion," celebrating my soul's armistice! Giving up playing God (in my life and that of others) surrendering my opinion, turn the helm of the universe back over to God.
Will the the known and unknown universe be okay if I resign my self-appointed deification? Well there was a whole class of wee toddlers from the Anglican private school running all over the grounds (including the labyrinth) - I get the distinct impression all is in good hands. (and I didn't even need to get out of my seat).
One little angelic "toe-head" was playing "peek-a-boo" with me through the labyrinth sign. I was heartened not to be seen as just the crumpled old guy sitting on the park bench.. I might actually be that too - but someone saw me!
Blessings be!
R. O'Neill (October 08, 2020)
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