Today post encompasses for me, something in the way, of an expanded spiritual practice. I often times don't necessarily have a pre-meditated theme, though sometimes during the course of the day, "ideas" may come through, or an experience/s, may inspire me to write about them. In today's case, I simply picked up a book that is, "chock-a-block" full of prayers and randomly selected one (in a form affectionally known as "bible bingo." The intention being now, having read the prayer, just go ahead and write. No "research," no ruminating, no cross-referencing.
Inherent in the intention is to trust right here & now in this moment that I have everything I need to write this post.
My life for a great many years has been one of continual conscious awareness that my envelope needs enlarging - on many a front. Prior to that I unconsciously asserted my utmost to remain unchanged. I don't say that I was actually able to do that and of course life went about its merry way ushering in change; I however, unbeknownst to me was quite convinced that unexpected and uninvited change (unpredictable) was apt to be detrimental to me.
I often don't know what I will write, even when I think I know what I'm going to write about. I'm frequently mystified by how that unfolds. From the afore mentioned days of yore until now - I have a increased capacity for that sort of unfolding in my day to day life. Having said that I'm not completely at ease all the time and fear and anxiety can sometimes be triggered.
The prayer I read was written from the perspective of a loving Creator inviting (in this case, me) to turn over my fears and anxiety (uncertainty about the future). To reach through my heart to the heart of all that is which is teeming with infinite peace and well-being.
To settle back into today, embrace a pace that itself is ease and grace and to settle safe in the assurance that everything that is needed for today is already here and that I only need do the best I can today with what is directly in front of me to do.
One door, for me, as I understand it, effectively is closing today. If I assume a higher point of view, then it only represents no more than a facet of my well-being. What won't serve me is to take that thread of "reality" run it endlessly through the machinations of my magnifying mind; whereby once out the other end, I terrifying myself with vast calamity
I choose to believe instead that this loving presence not only doesn't want me featuring myself in a weekend horror movie marathon... but would prefer I use the gifts of my faculty for creativity and imagination first of all to apply some self-soothing as extensively and often as necessary and then to consider and practice some faith and trust that just as all is well here and now - so it shall continue to be whether I have fore-knowing of what's next or not.
I reckon it stands to reason that if I continually depend on a perspective generated by my limited capacity I'm apt to become increasingly fearful. Conversely if I align myself with infinite love I am therein availed an endless resource.
To be sure ... there is always my part - the need for me to do my own "foot-work," however just as when I sat down to begin this post, in front of entirely blank screen, completely lacking in definition or content and in a short while later here it is, near ready to post. I had to apply myself to some degree the rest took care of itself. So it can be with the blank screen of other avenues of my life - the guidance I'm receiving and sharing today is I can bombard that which presents in my life with the limits of my will or I can turn it over to limitless love avail myself to the embodiment of that.
R .O'Neill (October 02, 2020)
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