"Come on let's go out and play before it get's too dark!" - Rob O'Neill (8yrs old)
What is this then? Simple, I source my quotations - when & where, I choose to utilize them. This suggestion elicited from my eight year old self, is a profound as it is, "simplistic." And despite what, as I sit here to write, is somewhat of a squall brewing outside; there will be adequate time, to "feel the wind in my hair," or the equivalent thereof, given I have no hair; after I finish writing.
I have added to my Artist's Way suggested activity (which on top of the regular requirement, of "morning pages" and a weekly "Artist's date" - was to be a week of "Reading Deprivation..") I'm now 5 days into that and had my sights set on breaking that fast, with transitioning into a juice fast. Circumstances have shifted and changed, which have resulted in my deciding to commence the juice fast today. So clearly the two activities are now to overlap. The reading "break," is due to lift, come Saturday; the envisioned juice cleanse/fast to run perhaps 3-4 days (I have gone longer in the past). This one, being not "planned to the nth degree," I believe, I will not be particularly rigid with, regarding duration. It could even possible extend, beyond the afore mentioned time span. I'll see how it goes and how I feel along the way.
How it going right at the minute? Well, it's just before three in the afternoon I've had three of the six bottles of juice I have available for today. Seems to me, that holds me in good stead. I do feel hungry - but I also know from past fasting, the actual physical hunger, seemed to peak after a while, and though it never went away entirely, it also never got worse. (of course this was on those occasions, when I fasted for six days) I have no idea, experience or current idea, to undertake anything longer than that.
I imagine the "cleansing" function is underway ... as journeying to the loo, would be more frequent than normal rhythms.
I've been off caffeine again for quite some time, also dairy, I eat almost entirely vegetarian (still eat eggs & the occasional piece of salmon)... The current nutritional status, has been arrived at through all kinds of trial and error... Not really part of any "spiritual" paradigm, as much; as it's for me, about, achieving and maintain a health weight, energy and vitality levels that support my envisioned activity level, digestion bliss and just generally feeling good in my body. Having compiled that list, I suppose it can be said and seen, that there is an element of spirituality at play - but it's being constituted from the "inside out." (which would be how some define "spiritual" I gather). I'm not trying to live up to the dictates, dogma, moral standards of anyone else - I'm just trying to arrive at what is optimal for me. Being overly concerned with what others eat or drink, just muddies the water and is not my business.
I understand an occasional juice cleanse/fast to be beneficial on many levels for one's being. I'm therefore offering myself that gift. I haven't done a ton of research, I won't being undertaking reams of before and or after analysis. Just going to get it done and see what I learn along the way. If it happens to be adequate to "detoxify," or lessen any inflammation going on in my body - great! I'm sure it will have me become more conscious, about my eating habits, and I would like to carry some revisions forward - post fast.
It's interesting to note, each time I get up from my writing for a "personal break," it runs through my mind - "I could use something to eat...." then I remember, "oh ya, not today O'Neill - it's cook's day off!! When one doesn't grab for a book and or something to eat while reading the book (and by "one," I mean me) suddenly I'm in a different relationship with myself. As it happens, I'm not doing much in the realm of the "Old nine to five" these days; so, in coupling some of these various avenues of introspection, and self examination, along with more than the average amount of "free time," there's precious little room in which to hide. Therein lies, where this can become interesting and revealing as well as, bring about the catalyst for change; albeit - it's not necessarily, "a walk in the park.." - even if you might be, actually walking in the park!
The opening "quote" was derived from another Artist Way Course suggestion: that one write some about their eight year old self, and then have the eight year old, write to your current self, with the invitation to hear, what you would tell yourself.
I wrote "to myself" with my "non-dominant" hand (which to me is just my other hand) I am ambidextrous to a degree; the left hand, which I chose, when it was suggested, I "had to" pick a hand, is the more fluent of the two, because I've habituated using it... But, the right hand can write fairly legibly, and I believe will become equally as effective, with continued practice. Why bother? Well partly because I believe, if I can, why wouldn't I? I'm also curious what effect that might have, encouraging the more consistently and collaboratively use of both hemispheres of my brain .. again, why not? And for the sheer novelty and fun of it!
Enter my eight year old self.... it probably would have been somewhere, in that age range, when we were first learning to print and then write, that someone decided I needed to be "something-handed.." it sure wasn't my idea!! Chalk it up to the "penguins" - speaking of chalk, they only wanted ya, writing with one hand with that too! The "training" was "persuasive" and I ultimately "chose" a side (but at what cost?) eight year old Robbie is saying about now... fuck 'em, let's write with both hands!!
"Let's go out and play!!"
What value does this have? Well as far as I'm concerned it is of far greater value, than obsessing and stressing over "Covid!" No wonder my "inner child" is reminding me about "playing" and the "threat" of darkness.. I'm of a mind, that I'm going to spend the rest of my life, fostering the further development of my creative faculties - whether I live another thirty minutes, or another thirty years. I have empathy and respect for people's fears and any losses they have incurred. This whole thing, that which is real and otherwise, has cost a great many, a great deal ... and it still is! Nobody is going to tell me, that I have to dwell on it for the rest of my days. I believe life is constantly unfolding, with endless creativity and the invitation I'm hearing; is to meet that ever changing creative reality, with all the creativity and imagination I can muster.
I am not going to live in the dark of the dooms-day machine, churning out its daily lamentations. I actually believe the world and everyone in it needs to get out and play. Forget all this terminal seriousness!! I have no "stats," but I bet suffering is a trillion kazillion dollar industry. Let's get serious about playing! Not take it seriously (i.e. "win at all costs," never say die" etc.) but give serious consideration and commitment to having fun!
"When?" - "not now you've got to do your homework" "When?" not now, you have to practice for your music lesson..." "When?" Not now, you have to graduate with the correct GPA to get into a good university!!" "When?" Not now, there's your whole career path unfolding ahead of you now... you have debts to pay, a mortgage, family.....) "When?" Not now, you have to earn enough and invest it correctly so that you can have enough to retire on!!" "When?" Not now, you got kids to put through college and aging parents" "When?" Not now, your magic retirement numbers are just near your reach... stay the course! "When?" Not now, you pushed a little too hard - you're going to require some hospitalization to stabilize your health.... "When?" Not now, you're dead!
While it might be true that it is "always darkest before the dawn.." I believe it is vitally important to determine who is calling the darkness and how and when you define it dawn!
R. O'Neill (February 25, 2021)
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