The blank page beckons or it intimidates, perhaps taunting, daring the writer to proceed. Truth? Fiction? Metaphor perhaps? I'm inclined to lean toward, projection of the mind (whatever that is...).. It is after all quite literally, a blank page, in a journal, on a computer screen, on a note pad etc. Completely and utterly harmless (unless you count paper-cuts..) What possible harm could it bring? I suppose, if one has a "dead-line," then a continued blank page, eventually leads to some form of consequence. If I pre-suppose that I must replace the open possibility of the blank page, with some sort of "meaningful" discourse, that must amuse, or inform, maybe inspire or enlighten; well perhaps this begins to point to some idea, of how the page, could be held "responsible," for my expectation of myself, leading to the generation, of some form of internal "pressure," maybe even fear, that exposing myself through writing, could lead to of rejection, or humiliation.
Oh my goodness, what a lot of head games, that can come into play, before one indulges the want/enjoyment of writing! I think it better to, just write. I can be rejected any number of times, any day of the week, depending on how many authentic interactions I engage in. It is then, not necessary to frame my dalliances with writing, as such a serious matter, there's nothing at stake here (as far as I know) I have absolutely nothing to lose.
Really it could be looked upon, as an adventure of sorts. Sometimes I might have an intended focus or direction. Other times, just a vague wisp of an idea, with which to make a start, it is right there, that I would say, one could throw caution, (notions of certainty) to the wind and just begin and see where that thread leads.
Today was a living example of such an undertaking (not specifically related to writing, but then again, whose to say, what experience goes on to feed or inspire)? The day started relatively early. I knew I was picking up Max (my Dachshund X sidekick) later in the morning. I had also planned to go to the gym (intending then, to forego breakfast until later.... and just bring along a smoothie). I loosely knew, I was meant to pick him up, before my partner left for an 11a.m. appointment. I wanted to complete my workout, then get Max so he wouldn't be sitting in the car in the November wind/rain offering. Before leaving my place, I had coffee while doing some a.m. inspirational reading/writing. All that was laid on for the morning was good life-affirming stuff, however I didn't really consider the time, each of these activities would take, and subsequently impact commitments to follow.
I wasn't long into my workout, when I realized, there's not much time before I'm suppose to be picking up Max. Rather than let this reality become cause to bail on the workout, deciding, there's just not enough time, "to do this right." I just created intensity within the time I had to work with. There was virtually nobody else in the gym. Thereforec, I could go from upper body exercise to lower body allowing the previous muscle group to "rest" while moving directly to the next exercise. I had a great workout and still got to my next destination on time.
Afterward I quickly did some grocery shopping, early enough that store wasn't busy, further allowing me to add some items to my pantry, while they were on sale. Max and I then drove back to my place. Neither of us had had, much of a walk so far. The rain continued along with gusts of "high" wind. Max is not a walk in the rain enthusiast, so I decided it was then breakfast time.
We hung out for a while and though the wind persisted the rain let up, so off we ventured. Five minutes down the hill from my place is beach access to stretch of shoreline known as Craig Bay. The tide was still out enough, that we had ample beach to walk on. We set out in the a direction we had both done before. At various places in that direction, one can leave the beach and loop back through a meadow-like green space. Curiosity fueled my want to keep going further down the beach and see where that lead. I reasoned there would either be additional access/exit trails, or we would just double back when we were finished.
When we got down to the "end" of the beach, there was a (to me), unknown estuary! Now this is what I'm talking about, adventure, exploration framed in the beauty of nature. We followed a pathway along the shoreline of the estuary. There were places where the trail we were walking, disappeared under water. I suppose either due to the rainfall and/or tide coming back in. We found footing on higher ground to continue. Next a fork in the trail, one appeared to loop back, the other led to a bridge across the estuary. Obviously the bridge was the clear-cut option! We followed that trail until it came out to a trail head bedside a local road. I didn't really want to walk back on the road, so we turned around. A sign board informed us we were at Craig Creek estuary (part of a local ecological-reserve) - cool! Another trail would have had us following a dirt road, that I'm pretty sure was the means, for all those residing in those beachfront houses to get to their homes. I didn't care to walk that route either. So, we doubled back the way we came in, following the course of the estuary embankment, while noticing even more of the trail was under water in different spots. A good time to decide to make our about face. The beach was noticeably narrower but still room to navigate. Eventually we took one of the trails up into the meadow and looped back home to my place.
All in all, we walked 12,737 steps, a distance of 9km! Info provided by the handy-dandy "Fit-bit" I was gifted for my last birthday. Now I can say, I am definitely a wellness/fitness etc. enthusiast. Just the same, to have compiled that many steps or traversed that distance, I would have been challenged to just go out the door with the predetermined intention to walk 9kms. I can hear it now (the less helpful facet of my mind.....) wah.... wah.... wah..... blah... blah.... blah..!!!
But, add a little mystery, adventure, exploration and natural beauty and time, distance, even effort (to a large extent), even less than idyllic weather conditions, all give way - to the adventure itself.
Is this then a cohesive piece, an anecdote that follows congruently and logically to a conclusion, predetermined by where it began? I don't know, I'd have to read it and see, which I will likely do, but I won't change a thing. A token "proof-read" is the only reason I see fit to revisit this journey.
As I complete, I'm aware that the wind has once again picked up... I'm thinking it might be worth fishing a lantern out of the back of my vehicle, the lights have flickered a few times. Soon then, I will determine, whether the batteries in said lantern, are still viable, if not, maybe I will spend the evening reading by candlelight.
The adventure continues!
