Gratitude

Though I haven't always been conscious of what there was present in my life to be grateful for, in fact quite the contrary, I always supposed a certain set of conditions would need to be present first - often they were most apparent to me in the lives of others and of course absent in mine.

Currently I am acutely aware of the multitude of reasons I have to be grateful. The interesting thing to me is though I may be without some of what we are told by our culture via the media, represents the true measures of success, I feel no apparent lack - of course I discontinued cable service so I am grateful for the lack of commercials in my life not to mention I not only don't know what celebrity is doing what to whomever - I don't even know who most of them are.

This is a one hundred and eighty degree turn around from being someone that was very concerned with the external/material world. I can remember as a young boy begging my mom to bring some old ratty towels off the clothesline because didn't want the neighbors to think we were poor. I can't say to this day how I came to be so worried about such things - so young, I was told that I need not take the views/opinions of others so seriously - the lesson was not to come home to roost for many years. I am therefore grateful to my mom for this valuable life lesson and that she is still around to let her know I got it.

I am very grateful to my former wife - once it was decided to end our marriage we set the intention to part ways honouring each other with mutual love and respect - an intention we upheld throughout the whole process. I am grateful we worked through the dissolution on our own without the use of lawyers. Come to think of it our separation and divorce was probably one of the most beautiful things we created together.

I am grateful to live in Victoria where the beauty of nature is so readily available in such wide diversity. I'm grateful to live in a country that is not at war within it's borders and where we can express our views without fear of persecution. I am grateful for my health and even though I am not presently at what I consider to be my optimal fitness level I know exactly how to go about getting fit again. I am grateful for my condo that gives me comfortable shelter at a very affordable price and is close enough to town that I can walk in when I choose.

I am grateful that my life's journey has resulted in the healing and opening of my heart which has been the catalyst of discovery through which I am getting access to creativity expressed through singing, playing/writing music and writing.

I am grateful to have been led to the Unity Church where I am free to continue to explore my spirituality that has (and continues) to involve examining different paths which continues to affirm for me the oneness of humanity and the need to honour each other. I am not told what I must believe, there is a presence of inclusion and I find there a growing sense of community in an atmosphere of support where the spirit within each of us is acknowledged and given food for growth. I also enjoy singing with the choir or in the congregation that never fails to lift my spirit. There are always a wide variety of learning opportunities offered through the church - in fact I first heard of the writing workshop that led to this story there. I also learned about "Compassionate Communication workshops (also known as Non-Violent Communication) through them - the principles of this paradigm have been instrumental on my path of "self-discovery" as well as giving me new tools for interacting with others.

I am grateful to the vast number of people that were there for me when I decided that my life had become unmanageable due to drug/alcohol addiction. I had no idea the journey of self-discovery that would unfold from this decision. This began what I describe as my consciousness awakening and was the spark that now has become the flame of passion to know for myself - connection with God of my understanding. I am grateful to all those that have written the dozens of books that grace my shelves. Each in it's own way opens my mind to different possibilities, inspires and points to the inherent wisdom available to each of us.

I am grateful for all the events and circumstances of my life past and present that have served to make me who I am. I am grateful for a growing awareness of those aspects of my personality that are throwbacks to a time when I believed them necessary for my protection.

I am grateful for all the love in my life, stemming from some I have known for considerable time and others whom have been present in my life only a short while. Most of all I am grateful for a growing sense of love for myself. I am grateful to have found three half-sisters and a half-brother, though I have only intermittent connection what a blessing to have made that connection. Ironically my lack of familial connection, which has been the source of a lifelong story which in turn supported my sense of disconnection, though no longer rings true for me, the discovery of these family members in itself didn't bring this about. In truth the greater reason for this feeling of disconnect stems from a lack of connection to both Self and the Creator - without out this (or seemingly the conscious pursuit of this connection) nothing from outside myself will provide that sense of connection. I therefore am grateful to come to know this - though the practice of living this knowing, learning to trust in and deepen this relationship is a work in progress.