If I lived my life in a more connected way - by which I mean more in harmony with the planet that sustains me, more in adherence to the laws of nature, my "life-style" might look entirely different than it's current configuration. I might well be far more self-sustaining - living with far more autonomy - less dependence on external sources and therefore less impacted by the fancy and folly of entities, that at the end of the day have very little concern for my well-being. So for example, as autumn now approaches I might be more concerned with the change of season soon to be upon us - perhaps the harvesting and preserving of a summer crop, the gathering of seeds to ensure the future viability of an ongoing food supply and perhaps beginning to prepare for the planting of a winter crop. Each season has it's considerations - each represents a cyclical period when particular opportunities abound and a specific way of interacting with the earth at these times is called for.
As I consider this rudimentary knowing of a living-breathing world that is inviting all it's inhabitants to come into a harmonic relationship - I ponder my remedial expanding consciousness around an interdependent relationship and my observation of life, within the urban environment within which I reside, and by which I've been influenced and how to reconcile the incongruence of the way I live relative to this heightened awareness.
I find myself in some sort of existential limbo as the reality that seemingly is losing it's hold on me, though still represents an air of familiarity; one that is more inclined to see the seasons as a means to delineate themes for retail sales has lost it's allure, but it is not immediately clear to me how to go about creating a new reality or what it would look like.
A recent 2 1/2 month "walk-about" in Europe during which time I lived out of a backpack and small tote bag has further led me to believe that one can get by (in fact thrive) on considerably less than the volume of stuff that fills my one bedroom condo. As it was I was ridding myself of some of what I had packed to lighten my pack, I began to realize I'm not wearing this or reading it, why then am I carrying it? When I arrived home I was immediately struck by how much there was in my living space (and this is keeping in mind it is only a 748 sq.ft. space and I have been "consciously" working at simplifying). I had none of this along with me while away and was perfectly fine without it - didn't miss it, clearly can live without it and yet notice varying degrees of angst considering further things to get rid of. Where went that sense of freedom that I had as I traveled unencumbered by my stuff. Was I ever really free of it or was this more a kin to a prison "work-release" program, a temporary furlough to experience, reintegrate, with life outside the walls. How quickly my stuff reminds me of it's ability to become the chains of incarceration.
It would seem I'm not alone in this - apparently we are being compensated for the late arrival of summer weather by it being extended as autumn approaches - this serves both those weekend bargain hunters known as "garage salers" and those that have such surplus within their walls that are required to host garage sales. I happened upon one such sale when walking home the other day - I was drawn in from the sidewalk by what I thought was a Celtic design belt buckle which was gleaming in the sun (God knows I need one of those - maybe I was a crow in another life - something shiny always attracts my eye). Anyway it wasn't Celtic at all and when I picked it up I soon discovered it had been significantly heated sitting out in the sun - perhaps this was the universe helping me uphold my resolve - I certainly dropped it quickly.
Once in amidst the eclectic inventory I was struck by the largest number of knives I have ever seen outside a specialty store, in fact I asked did the proprietor run a store that sold knives and these were left over. He informed me that no, that was not the case he was just a "collector" of sorts, knives and record albums (which was evidenced by the tables full of boxes of records which were also now up for sale). Now I have some familiarity with this "collecting" and of course shouldn't go projecting what was going on for me on this fellow - but this business of collecting where I was concerned, was one part obsession another retail therapy - took the shape of books, cd's, guitars and was always the next purchase away from arriving at Nirvana.
The question becomes at what point does a shift occur and instead of me owning the stuff - the stuff owns me? First there is the need to work to earn the money to acquire it, then there's storing it, maintaining it, insuring it. On top of this is a world economic system that is dependent on whatever we have now, simple is not and never will be enough - the system is buoyed up by endless consumption. I don't know about anyone else but I believe I have very nearly reached the point of ENOUGH! I can't with any authority speak to whether this production/consumption is sustainable or not - but I can say I'm not inspired to sustain my participation in it. I walked past a store (same day as the garage sale) there were big signs in the window "up to 40% off" I thought I can save 100% by not going in there!
I wonder if lifestyle might be better determined by what I can do without instead of what I think I need.
I'm quite sure my answers will not be found at the mall - I mean I could go to the bookstore and read a book about trees or the seaside or I could just go to either and let them tell me their story.
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