In my life it seems I have replaced the idea of right of way with, "Write the way." Does that mean I'm suggesting that which I lay in front of you in print, represents the true path - no. It's more like for me I write my way to healing and consequently I heal my way to write. Nothing I suppose unique or exclusive about the catharsis I experience through writing - the gift being, that my inner terrain becomes visible, where it can be visited by others and even by myself, sometimes for the first time.
Of course as the reader, anyone has the "right" to embrace or dismiss whatever it is I say - there is a vast universe of infinite possibility between my way & the highway. As I write I express what is currently there for me - I suppose the "danger" with insights, perspectives & intuitive supposition becoming finite upon the page, is that once suspended and rendered inanimate, the view conveyed may no longer represent my current consciousness and therefore be quoted out of context. In truth I don't even want to become dogmatic about my own viewpoint - therefore if one accepts the organic evolution that we all are undergoing - my words on a page are much like a snapshot. It captures a moment - no guarantee that returning there would yield the same picture- in fact more likely it will not.
Different facets of myself are expressed through writing - even to the point of some reflecting to me that they appreciate elements of my written voice that might not be aired in spoken conversation. I have to let go of a concern for "understanding" the machinations of my writing. In fact my critical/analytical mind at times is a hindrance to what "wants" to be said. If a connection is "allowed" between hands and keyboard without censorship then the vast mosaic that has been my life becomes accessible and can in turn become the palette utilized to "paint" with words my story.
I don't know how it works for others - I presume a vast store of wisdom and intelligence which is universally available then accessed and expressed differently by each person. For me writing has presented (later in my life I might add) as a portal and vehicle of expression. Often hands to keyboard is a bit like a key inserted into a lock, the tumblers all roll into place and the door opens. Ideas - past events and information come flooding forward (seemingly from nowhere) each finds its place in the weave as an element being utilized to tell the story (even if in and of themselves they were not part of the context of this story they serve a purpose). How does this all take place - I haven't the foggiest idea and believe me I have a mind that "wants to know." It's quite like being written - I fancy that as I become a more clear channel, that which I write might well be less influenced by me and perhaps be more "inspired" in content. Largely I know no other way to clear the channel than to write. One day I might even write something particularly significant.
What is truly significant at present, is that I both write and present my writing where it will be read. I intend to grow that in scope and exposure. It is intriguing to me that it is occurring - given I didn't "train" for it, didn't grow up aspiring toward it (though I did read quite a bit - more or less always have). The lack of formal training isn't even the most baffling aspect, if it were to be considered that much of my life I thought I was content to fly below the radar. I didn't let much of myself be known (even when I was behaving in ways that weren't particularly inconspicuous I would have shrunk considerably if I realized I was being seen). Now I recognize that there is very little value (from my perspective) of my just writing for the sake of writing if it is not going to be shared, therefore, I can't remain invisible. Even still I would say it is more now about being of service, using my gifts to their best possible potential and standing up and contributing - not so much "being seen."Just the same I must acknowledge how so much has changed to make any of this possible.
I suppose my point is that not only can it be said, that "things are not as they seem" I would say that there is so much more to know about oneself (and of course about other people). I urge anyone to look deeply within themselves - do not remained resigned that you know all there is to know of yourself. "The die is cast - it's cast in stone," it's just not true! Indeed you could make it true if you so choose but, if you even have a sliver of curiosity - some little I wonder if, pounce on it and follow that thread where ever it might lead. You may well be very surprised! The path you started on might not be the path you continue on (I mean I suppose it could all be seen as "the path") still very radical changes are possible along the way - if one can work on developing an increased capacity for change and the unfamiliar. (I'll be the first one to grant that isn't easy - but it can also be taken on in bite size pieces and made more manageable). Huge all encompassing change isn't necessary (unless it is).
I could write the book on stagnation, resignation, frustration and mediocrity - I could also say a thing or two about these not being the cards I was dealt. It was more the way I chose to play the cards. I am infinitely blessed to have had multiple crisis in my life - that shook me to my core and created an appetite for truth and meaning. Ever since then it has been very real - it has been mind-blowing, excruciatingly painful, blissful, joyful, exhilarating, intriguing, perplexing, frustrating - never has it been dull, I wouldn't trade this ride for anything and it's not over by a long shot!!
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