I
Wanted to
Love you..
Our
Introduction
By way
Of
An orphan's
Debut
A grand
Welcome
And
the novelty
Rapidly
Unraveled
Lost
The number
of times
I've
Heard
I
"SHOULD"
Be
Grateful
for
Hearth & home
Architecture
Being
A
Far cry
From
A
Loving
Environment
You
Taught me
To fear
The world
And
Everyone
In it....
Would it
Have been
Too much
To ask
Me
What I
Was interested in?
Let alone
Offer
Support & encouragement
Your
Rage & criticism
Became my
Mirror
Until
It became
All
I could see
Shame
Fear
&
Self-doubt
My
Embodied
Family
Legacy
You
Claimed
You "wanted"
Children
While
You complained
Bitterly
About
The burden
We
Represented
Adulthood
Not
Synonymous
With
Parenthood
Children
Precious, innocence
Such a gift
Unequalled love
Never
Did I hear
Any
Such
Adoration
Love
Was only
Expressed
In
Conjunction
With
Abuse
How
Could you believe
That
Was in anyway
Helpful
or
Okay?
I
Have a
Responsibility
For
My own
Life
I will
Stand
Further in
That responsibility
To myself
By
Expressing
The anger & sadness
That
Are
The repressed
Grief
Of
My lost childhood
My
Feelings
Are
My own
To
Elevate
Your
Memory
To the
Pedestal
of
Hallmark
Sentiments
Would
Betray
My
Soul
I will
Be
Everything
That
You wouldn't be
I
See now
Couldn't
Be
I will
Become
The expression
Of
Love
Compassion
&
Forgiveness
Not
By following
Your lead
But
Despite
And
In the absence
of
Any
True leadership
I
Did
Love you
It's
Who
I
am
I hated
How
You
Behaved
My heart
Can
No longer
Bare
Your lies
I
Will no longer
Carry
Your
Dysfunctional
Legacy
I will
Foster
The
Forgiveness
for us
Both
R. O'Neill (May 11, 2019)
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