Saturday, 11 May 2019

Ode to a Young Heart



I
Wanted to 
Love you..

Our 
Introduction
By way
Of
An orphan's 
Debut

A grand
Welcome
And 
the novelty
Rapidly 
Unraveled

Lost 
The number
of times
I've
Heard
"SHOULD"
Be 
Grateful
for
Hearth & home

Architecture 
 Being
A
Far cry
From
A
Loving
Environment

You 
Taught me
To fear
The world
And 
Everyone 
In it....

Would it 
Have been
Too much
To ask 
Me 
What I 
Was interested in?
Let alone
Offer
Support & encouragement

Your
Rage & criticism
Became my
Mirror
Until
It became
All 
I could see

Shame
Fear
&
Self-doubt
My
Embodied
Family
Legacy

You
Claimed
You "wanted" 
Children
While
You complained
Bitterly
About 
The burden
We
Represented

Adulthood
Not
Synonymous
With 
Parenthood


Children
Precious, innocence
Such a gift
Unequalled love

Never
Did I hear
Any 
Such 
Adoration

Love
Was only
Expressed
In 
Conjunction
With
Abuse

How 
Could you believe 
That 
Was in anyway
Helpful
or 
Okay?

Have a 
Responsibility
For 
My own
Life

I will
Stand 
Further in 
That responsibility
To myself
By
Expressing
The anger & sadness
That 
Are 
The repressed
Grief
Of 
My lost childhood

My 
Feelings
Are 
My own

To
Elevate
Your 
Memory
To the
Pedestal
of
Hallmark
Sentiments
Would
Betray
My 
Soul

I will
Be 
Everything
That 
You wouldn't be
See now
Couldn't 
Be

I will
Become
The expression
Of
Love
Compassion
&
Forgiveness 

Not 
By following
Your lead
But
Despite
And
In the absence
of
Any
True leadership

Did 
Love you
It's 
Who 
am

I hated
How
You
Behaved

My heart
Can 
No longer
Bare
Your lies

Will no longer
Carry
Your 
Dysfunctional
Legacy

I will
Foster
The
Forgiveness
for us
Both


R. O'Neill (May 11, 2019)

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