"How many have laid waste to your life when you weren't aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolish joy, greedy desire, and social amusements- how little of your own was left to you. You will realize you are dying before your time!" - Seneca, On the Brevity of Life
Before I proceed to somehow encompass the quote above into today's blog post, I need to acknowledge, that it has been considerable time, since I have offered consistency to my writing. Reviewing the statistics page of this platform, I see that I have written 738 posts and the site has been visited some 20,238 times. I want to take this time and opportunity, to thank everyone (& anyone) that has invested some of their time and energy into reading my musings. Of course at this point, I don't know if those that visited will reappear to receive my thanks - regardless, I trust that energetically, it is the right thing to do. Naturally I would understand, that any that might have visited with regularity in the past, may have dropped off as there has been precious little to offer. (I won't be so bold even now to say that even while I more prolifically wrote that quality was assured, still there was something offered through which to make that assessment for ones self). Before I even knew I had a "following," a statistics page, etc. I simply wrote - it is in that spirit that I intend to return.
In retrospect I consider there are a variety of contributing factors, which combined to create my expressive drought, though I'm not sure it serves any greater good to belabour the topic here. To be sure it is of value for me to know, & my intention is to continue with my self-relevatory style of writing, as that is what I continue to feel guided to do. I believe in doing so, it makes both me, and that which I write about accessible and relatable - it is not my intention to posture myself above or below anyone while maintaining my integrity and authenticity. I will not apologize if through the expounding of my views, experience and journey the reader is "triggered" and then presumes to blame me through projection, supposing what I shared, is to blame for their feelings. Naturally I receive insight into who I am through both my writing and the same opportunity is extended through the reflection of others. It is equally important for me to continue to practice determining my own definition which can be aided through the mirror of others, while at other times the practice is discerning that what another offers is in fact theirs and has nothing to do with me.
Now then, I begin to consider the opening quotation.
To begin with I am immediately struck with considering the immense value of a life (my life) and realizing that with regard to this incarnate existence, it is a finite opportunity and that through lack of awareness, precious (hours, days, weeks months, years) can be squandered, eroded, lost, stolen, misdirected, undervalued, exploited, manipulated, expropriated, sold out.
I resist temptation to berate, admonish or otherwise punish myself while considering that for me it has been so and that there has most certainly been significant impact.
I am also heartened by the fact that I wouldn't have this present day vision if I had not walked the path I did.
For me it is worthwhile to recognize a distinction between "pointless grief" & the very real need to allow love its stalwart mandate to grieve and grieve well. There simply is no other way to continue to expand into a deeper and increasingly complete version of myself; without allowing grief to reveal myself to myself, rather than continue to identify as someone, that would deny grief its loving vision for the greater good in my life.
I am well acquainted with the cost and impact of disassociation and repression coupled with a ever-present barrage of story-lines that are intended to be fear-inducing; it can be readily appreciated how limited becomes the lens and subsequent pathway once it has been allowed to succumb to such influences.
How sophisticated it can be presumed life is here and now in the "21st century" - yet I consider though there was no "social media" in the time of Seneca, he still references "social amusement" as a potential detriment to quality of life. War, pestilence, disease, poverty, greed, corruption etc. all existed during his time, just as they do today. Just the same there were those that recognized there are path/s, choices, ways and means that can affect and have effect on quality of life.
I suppose throughout history there have always been those that believed their particular circumstance was unrivalled in terms of challenge and personal impact. On the other hand there have been those (then and now) that are intent on "amusing" themselves to death invested in endless drama - needless to say, the more that can be influenced to join their cast of characters the grander the drama!
It seems to me that Seneca was speaking to the importance of "agency" in one's own life and was suggesting rather pointedly, the alternative is to join the "walking dead," until the day came when it was time to just lay down.
R. O'Neill (September 16, 2020)
No comments:
Post a Comment