Choose littleness and you will not have peace, for you will have judged yourself unworthy of it.
- A Course in Miracles
I have taken on this particular writing "assignment" today (keep in mind I am relation to this blog: editor, writer, chief critic and principle benefactor) as the means to practice its themes, rather than suppose authority or mastery of them.
The world is full of "authorities." This past year we (I in particular) have been inundated, with the opinions, theories, presumptions, "educated" guesses, speculation, of authorities; all of which is having a significant impact on the shape and form, of the society we live in. While various individuals and collectives might spend considerable time, focused on some particular facets, in the known universe (while continuing to be oblivious to the vastly greater sum of what they don't know) the question for me is, at what point does their authority, violate my sovereignty? Given the dogmatic adherence of many "experts" to their pet theory, why should it be presumed, that it represents my best interest at all (or anyone else's - but I speak for myself).
For me, I become aware, that along the axis of my holding on to truth regarding my "smallness;" that I will invariably intersect, with the idea, that something or somebody knows better, or is better for me - having "it," or following their direction will make me a "better" person. (Nay.. nay)
While I believe the longer I live, the more I come to realize, the less I know. I do know, that acquiescence to the agendas, beliefs, wishes, whims and approval of others, most certainly will not lead to any peace for me.
I happen to believe in a universally accessible force (call it Love ... I'm going to - call it what you will) it is available right here, right now. To the degree that I determine myself to be unworthy, unqualified, unprepared etc. ensures that I limit my ability, to receive Love from its source).
This Love is undiscrimenitory.... it doesn't require the acquisition of a Phd in order to qualify. Those with such designations, may be able to shed some specific light or guidance (but only for what amounts to an instant of another's life) they don't know what another needs, or even why they're here.
To assume the need of continued direction from these authorities (well for one thing, continues to make a contribution to their bank account) perhaps more pressing is a continued renouncing of ones own power and access to Love.
Though these external forms (which are presented through our culture as being determinants of value, security and power) they are not. They might provide some measure of comfort, convenience and amusement; however, love & attachment to them, will ensure a life-long pursuit in the crazy-making of the "rat-race," - a very extensive and elaborate manifestation of the "Hungry Ghost."
External qualifications, credentials, titles, resumes and CV's might give one talking points in and around a certain field - they don't ensure the experience of love, are not necessary in order to qualify for it and can readily be used as a barrier to it.
So the way I'm seeing it is, I can either continually view myself as "little," in which case I can continue to pummel myself with what literally would be the "Impossible Dream" (i.e. that somehow, someway, some day, only if and when.... I'll be somebody); or I can show up today open and willing, to accept my worthiness of the Love of the Creator, which allows me both the experience of it and the ability to share it.
It also allows me to locate the peace I seek far closer to home.
R. O'Neill (September 29, 2020)
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