Peace

I was happy to see that upon awakening this morning, the deluge had subsided. It was actually a bright clear morning “what a difference a day makes.” I was still bathing in the afterglow of yesterday (the date November 11, 2011 – 11/11/11) the day known here in Canada as “Remembrance Day” which honours the veterans (and civilians – perhaps the latter is my personal acknowledgement) that died in various wars – far too many wars in my mind. It saddens me, the tragic loss of lives. Perhaps I haven’t reached a consciousness whereby I am willing to relinquish my survival. I wonder if everyone on those battlefields is clear why they are there – I wonder if even the reasons they are told they are there are true. Of course many of these situations have long complicated histories – there has been and continue to be oppressive regimes operating in the world. How then, does the attempt at violent eradication resolve the problem – my concern is that in doing so, there is so much collateral damage (the term conceived to represent those who had wanted no part of this insanity however they were in the wrong place at the right time and consequently lost their lives) how does that not create in the mind of the survivors a vengeance consciousness. 

I suppose it is equally possible that they might be more profoundly convinced by the pain of their loss that the atrocities of war must not be repeated and thereby become a cause for peace. Does it really have to repeatedly unfold this way? Clearly parts of my story make it obvious that I haven’t always had much in the way of a reverence for life (mine or anyone else’s) and I do recognize the depth of conviction these men and women embrace and lay their lives on the line to uphold. Maybe this is an example of the need to allow oneself to be fully consumed by something bigger than themselves – perhaps this doesn’t always result in loss of life – rather it becomes the defining catalyst for that life, rather than just self preservation. I have to acknowledge that my life, when deeply examined, could be said to have been more about my survival and what I wanted, than to serve a greater cause. I spent many years working in health care as a nurse and though there certainly is a service component inherent in that work and I supported many people – I didn’t really feel  “called” to the work – therefore my personal dissatisfaction meant increasingly, I had more difficulty hiding my frustration – particularly with co-workers. In hindsight it may not have mattered what I was doing – there was a need for me to find some peace and it was going to need to come from the inside out.

 I don’t accept that violence is the only way to resolves differences and conflict. What if to begin with, differences were embraced? What if they were to give rise to curiosity and inquiry rather than fear and contempt? I believe continuing to develop and stock pile new technology for the purpose of war fare – continues to hold as true, the next war.  If I’m walking around carrying a knife or a gun (which I can’t “legally” do in Canada anyway) – what does that say about the level of my fear – wouldn’t those in my community see it as preferable that I deal with the fear? If I’m that scared what’s it going to take before I think the use of one of those weapons is warranted? What of the need for safety of everyone else? Is my neighborhood safer because I’m carrying my knife – how long before word gets out and then the neighbors think – “he’s got a knife – I better get a bigger knife – maybe a bat, let’s see him get close enough to me to use that knife when I start swinging my “Louisville Slugger” Better still we’ll organize a group in the neighborhood and we’ll all carry bats – maybe a couple of machete’s – but this is not cause for concern, because these machete wielding blokes are the “good guys” they are intent on upholding freedom and peace in the neighborhood. We saw that Rob character the other day – he shaves his head and has two earrings (in the left ear – don’t know what that means but it can’t be good) and he took his knife out in broad daylight (well ya it was a Swiss army knife but this is Canada – what was he doing? Well he had the scissors out and was trimming his finger nails but obviously that was just a diversion, he was listening to some old song called “Imagine” – I think he’s delusional, I mean really “Imagine?” let’s get real!! Did I mention he’s left-handed? He was sitting near the playground, what if all the kids started to think they could use their left hand? First we got to keep an eye on that guy – stick to him like “stink on a skunk” and then we go upstream and severe his supply line – that’s right the “Swiss” from now on those in the Neighborhood Libertarians will no longer purchase or consume that cheese (it’s full of holes you know – would you eat an apple that’s full of holes? I rest my case – this is not only a neighborhood threat but also a direct threat to the economy and sovereignty of Canada) – are you with us or against us?

I have to admit that in the grander scheme of things (i.e. the forwarding of human evolution) I can’t say that all the wars and lives lost weren’t “necessary” to create some sort of shift in consciousness. It just seems violence results in more violence – attack brings on retaliation. So I work at holding a vision of peace. So even having done my regular morning meditation I sat again at 11:11 a.m. and lit a candle and meditated holding in my mind and heart gratitude and honouring for the lives lost but also that they did not die in vain – that peace would become the way of the future.

The current date was also said to be of great significance with respect to consciousness, and paradigm shifts – many different perspectives and likely no one really knows for sure what the outcome might be. For all I know maybe the inspiration to take on this morning practice of mine was brought about through these shifting energies. If nothing else, if hundreds of thousands of people are on this day, coming together collectively in circles or individually and focusing on such higher ways of being such as love, forgiveness, connection, healing - it’s got to be better than everyone thinking “dog eat dog.” That evening I attended a Bhatki night, which began with a multiple course, vegetarian East Indian meal (which was prepared in a devotional way). The rest of the evening a Kirtan was held (call and response chanting) an evening of heart – centered devotion to God (Great Spirit etc.– there was no insistence on any particular belief system).

Meanwhile back in the here and now it’s time to sweep the labyrinth. I notice though there has been a great many leaves fall since yesterday – there are relatively few on the labyrinth surface. They are all around the perimeter – it’s as though some force repelled them from the inner core of the labyrinth and pushed them to the outside. Maybe the “Jedi” was here already – it’s pretty early, but possible. Not important really, I’m just noticing. The other thing I noticed is a pair of squirrels (that I have seen other days here) one grey, one black. I don’t actually know if they are partners – I have observed them seemingly chasing one another, so maybe they’re rivals or could be running off somewhere together. Anyway today they are together on the trunk of the oak tree I meditate under. As I stopped what I’m doing to watch them they scramble up the tree – round and round the tree trunk as though they were ascending a spiral staircase (there’s that spiral shape again). I’m reminded of the concept of ying and yang (particularly because of their dark and light colouring) though it’s not clear to me whether they are collaborating or competing. No doubt some form of harmony will be achieved eventually – though I won’t be witnessing it, as they run down from the tree and disappear across the churchyard.

I resume my sweeping when a car pulls up on the street adjacent to the church grounds – the stereo in the car is playing loudly – so I am able to hear clearly the song which is playing – Louis Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World.” The song and my surrounding touch my heart and my eyes well up with tears – I am in that moment embraced in “Wonderful.” The car remains only for the duration of that one song and then leaves. Random? Coincidence? Maybe, unless it wasn’t! I was struck by the beautiful interlude, a short window in time, where an alignment of seemingly unrelated occurrences connected and then ended just as suddenly – leaving me wondering, “did that just happen? Further to that I wondered how many beautiful moments do I miss on any given day because I am so ensconced in the catacombs of my mind, that I am unaware of what is unfolding right under my nose. I am grateful this day for the driver of this car who provided my movie with a very fitting soundtrack and of course thanks as well to the dancing squirrels.