It baffles me at times, that various people undergo some form of journey that seemingly bestows on them insights into the very "mysteries" of life and that they then go on to continually impart with such clarity and certainty. Consequently hundreds even thousands of people seeking direction for their own lives, refer to the work of these few individuals. I have been that person seeking truth and certainly I suppose, have been so convinced of my inability to connect to any form of metaphysical source, that I sought the answers instead, from a fairly far-reaching variety of these "leaders," "teachers," and gurus and while their work and perspectives certainly have contributed to wherever it is I am now, It hasn't been until somewhere along the line that I deepened my own connection to my own experience that I began to court more frequently, who I might more authentically be, at least, potentially! I can say that it continually places me in terms of orientation on relatively unfamiliar ground.
I don't wish to dismiss or devalue the life work & path of others, at the same time I don't want to depend on it either. Somehow I need to be more certain of the road I have walked and that the ensuing experience can be and is, of value to others. I cannot have been compelled for so long upon this continual seeking path, without there being some purpose that reaches beyond self-soothing. Though I recently, (today) revisited the idea of service and questions around the balance of self care and the care and concern for others; where does the responsibility begin and end for me as an "individual" and me as one of "we are all one?" I'm not sure what the answers are for me having just been re-presented with the questions, but given my habituated inclination to employ "either/or" thinking, it occurs to me that I may engage this as well with extremes that might look like either too much concern for the needs of others at the cost of my own; or swinging to the other end of the spectrum and not giving any consideration to the needs of others. I'm guessing I will find my answers somewhere upon the Buddha's middle road or the grey between the black and white.
I get that the energy with which I serve makes a difference. There is very little benefit to doing so from a place of guilt or obligation; serving with resentment while perhaps not entirely fruitless, in as much as the task is completed, just the same energetically people know if your heart is not in it and you are begrudgingly going through the motions.
I think the reflections of these various spiritual mentors and pioneers are of great value. To me, they expand my mind as to the existence of further possibilities and how that has presented to them, from initially viewing from an extremely limited perspective, when I have considered the musings of others, even while at same time becoming further acquainted with my own skepticism - I gradually began to "wonder if" about more and more (while becoming less sure about my belief in so little).
So in effect, the wide range of teachers and teachings I have visited and in some cases continue to revisit, have harnessed my natural curiosity and continue to hone and refine my ability to "ask a better question." What I believe to be the natural evolution of my path will be the sharing of my experience with the answers to those questions, even when the answers come in the form of more questions - they will be derived from my direct experience, lessening the need to cite and recite the experience of others.
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