Nothing from Nothing yields Something?

The nothing
upon
which,
 I have tried to build something,
Anything.
Is of unfathomable depth,
A chasm through which runs
A current so powerful,
Establishing any lasting foundation
Is denied.
A wind swept
Barren wasteland,
Replete of daylight's reprieve,
An insatiable timeless oceanic void
Which devoured the stars.
Combining
The swiftest feet
Along with
Evasion most cunning,
Have fallen emphatically short of concealing
My reflection upon the infinite darkness.
The unexamined heart concealed terror's reign,
"It is not where I am - it is who I am!"
After a lifetime procession of failed earthly pursuit.
A "self" preserving notion
Born of desperation
"Oh by the way - I know God"
Spawned of irony,
"I'll be someone & mean something" via
The ultimate in name dropping.
I deeply regret my charade
Submitting humbly,
I wish I knew him now.