Living in the western world where rational thought and materialism reign supreme, I both have determined for myself; that it is not the "Alpha and the Omega"of life. Just the same, I can't claim I have not been influenced by this orientation and now choose to "unlearn" in order to further develop additional innate proclivities. These might well include those attributes that are collectively described as the large percentages of our brain (or being) that lie under-utilized.
I find that in matters involving the consideration of some of "life's mysteries" (including those of my own life) as often as not, perhaps more; the mind (and it's associated logic and reason) present as detrimental to the quest. I don't necessarily refer to detriment to personal "life and limb;" more so that the scope of the journey can certainly be impacted, if I were to strictly follow the dictates of the mind. I consider as "exhibit A" my own spiritual path which in no small way has led me to the mystery and intrigue of unraveling my own ancestry.
On my biological father's side as it turns out that is Irish; a "fact of life" that eluded me for many years. I hold to be true that there were other matters that needed to be worked out within me and through me first. Whether they were pre-ordained to be preparatory, I can't absolutely say; but it turns out this is the case (with or without "empirical evidence.")
I consider at times I am following threads, nearly imperceptible (well.. except they're not) the challenge that presents to me is; while to any other Tom, Dick or Harry that which I have followed may seem laudable or laughable. I'm not talking about following directives in the form of "sky-writing" or "burning bushes." No, these are more like the filaments of a spider's web which at first blush might appear rather flimsy. However, this same web serves very effectively exactly what it was designed for; all the while withstanding the assault of wind and rain. In this respect a "thread" is rather formidable.
I suppose the lesson laid before me is to learn to trust "my threads." It is wonderful to share about such things with someone that embraces the splendour of your personal mystery; however, there is as much likelihood that others might pounce on the notion and dismiss the whole thing "as a waste of time."
This particular post was initiated as I stared at a book mark (as much or more than the book I was "reading.") Upon the book mark is the name "O'Neill" includes the clan coat of arms and snippets of "history." I acquired this bookmark while in a local Irish import store. Specifically due to coming to know at the depth of my being I am an "O'Neill." A trip to Ireland five years ago left me with some rather unmistakeable impressions (or said another way, Ireland impressed upon me) an undeniable connection. This was before I came to know the "name."
I won't go into the discovery of my name at this point. It is fascinating that there is only four sentences on this book mark but different parts of it "get my attention" at different times.
Quoting the first sentence: "The Gaelic name Niall is thought to mean "champion." Apparently I am going to touch on the name story. A service that runs DNA testing and cross-matches it on a huge database (my very simplistic understanding of their process) not only verified my paternal gene type as being "highly concentrated in Northern Ireland but went on to indicate that it also was of the lineage of "Niall of the Nine Hostages." Further noted on the book mark is that "the O'Neill's are a branch of the ancient family of Tara - some cross referencing online leads me to believe that would be the Tuatha de Dannan (people/tribe of the Goddess Danu). The online article also mentioned (located at Tara) the "Mound of the Hostages" which I visited when I was there. Suffice to say the experience was more than a walk in the park - I was stirred viscerally while "visiting" there. Again this was before this further discovery of my "roots." The name "Niall" was said to have been brought to Ireland by "Norsemen" so that may present as a further thread to follow.
Back to the reference to "champion." What does that have to do with me you might ask? It's in my history, it's in my lineage, it's in my DNA - I am one (certainly not the only one- which doesn't mean that all that are called - listen) but neither does that absolve me of the legacy I carry. What then will I "champion?" At the very least, the wisps, the threads, the whispers that may only be perceptible to me. They might be meaningless to anyone else. I cannot let dismissiveness from outside myself distract or dissuade me from that which calls directly (well.... I suppose it could be said to be rather convoluted) to me. It might well be that as I pay closer attention and heighten my ability to listen a more "direct" unfolding will occur. Or everything is going according to "Hoyle" (actually O'Neill) the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line. This brings me full circle back to the importance of not allowing my own mind to be the purveyor of distraction. It can be servant or master - the latter often becoming a limiting factor the former better suited to serve something far bigger than itself.
Just to be clear am I speaking here that even though raised thousands of miles away from the land of my ancestors; in a family and culture devoid of any ancestral association, can the land itself and the spirit of my lineage, call to the very marrow of my bones?
I say they can and they have, and I suspect they will continue to do so - mine is to listen.
I was not taught to listen in this way - but I am firmly convinced that it can be and is being, reawakened in me.
I can unlearn, and remember!
I am willing.
I am able.
And I must!
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