"Check, Please!"

Without taking much in the way of time this morning, to "check-in" and set the tone for the beginning of the day - I made some quick choices and got on my way. I did do a little reading (a few passages from my continued reading of the bible - (I believe it's what they call "letter's from Paul"). I still suspect the reading of this book won't have much impact on my life. Particularly after reading and being reminded of the existence of "The Gospel of Barnabas." The periodic surfacing of these various manuscripts - most certainly raise many questions. The contents themselves could have profound implications. If nothing else it make me wonder what else has be "excluded." However, I set an intention to read it and I will see that through. At this point it will perhaps, give me more of an understanding of what adherents are making reference to when they speak of it.

I had a quick couple cups of coffee - which given the current state of my digestive system (soured/off) might have been ill-advised.  I suspect the upset in my abdomen could be related to the recently completed antibiotics I had been taking for a post-piercing infection. I have begun some probiotics - but not until I began experiencing the current discomfort.

Then I dashed out the door with my guitar and if anything, some half-baked notion that I would duplicate yesterday's "success." I had slept in this morning, so I wondered if I would even get my intended performance spots. I got into town and walked the few blocks to the first potential spot - which was open! Alright then, I'm all set to go!

It wasn't until I began setting up that I knew without even having looked, I didn't have my folder of song/chord sheets. As quickly as I started setting up I just reversed the process, nothing was going to happen, until I went home and retrieved that folder.

I was a little frustrated as I had "asked" - if I had everything I needed, before leaving. I got, that yes I did.

I hopped on the next bus back to my neighbourhood and walked back to my place. Once inside there was the folder on my table where it had been left. I sat down and considered the prospect of returning into town to sing. I asked a series of questions and sought the further guidance of my sacred divination tool (an "American quarter" that has been designated for that purpose).

"Is it in my highest good to go back downtown to busk?" ......... No
"Is it in my highest good to have a nap?" ...... No
"Is the money I would have made busking of any concern?".... No
"Is it in my highest good to meditate right now?" ...... Yes

While I sat and quietened my thoughts, I began to pay attention to my body. It actually felt like it "needed attention." It felt a little flat and tired. (and here I was intent on driving it out to "perform") As much as I enjoyed busking yesterday - it was at least a good portion of the time, in the direct sun. "You're dehydrated." I do tend to abstain from drinking water while I'm playing, as I don't want to need to answer nature's call mid-set. The guidance would appear to be indicating, that given the warmer temperatures to be expected for the next while - "nature is calling for water."

"Guidance" I've come to remember today, is in the moment applicable. So the question isn't whether I "generally" enjoy coffee. It is instead, is coffee being called for currently? A successful "busking" experience yesterday - doesn't mean that just because I have time off today - that it is to be filled with more busking. As was the case - today, "rest" and "recharging" were being called for. "Go inward.... listen.... direct your attentiveness on what you need.... giving through busking has it's own energy demands ...... your own reserves are low and will deplete further without "self-care."

I even gained some "insight" regarding my sarcastic query: "I thought I had everything I needed before leaving to go to town!"

"Your question was "do I have everything I need?" The answer is Yes, you are equipped with everything you need within yourself. "You didn't ask do I have everything I need for busking?"

By leaving the folder at home you ultimately took the extra time to stop and consider what you really needed. If you grabbed the folder and rushed back downtown - you would have had a different experience, but it still would be sometime before you connected to what you needed.

The morning turned into a refresher on the difference between moment to moment guidance and "pushing the river" by means of a mind-driven agenda. Sometimes there might be a need to give a little push to step through some inertia. Other times "forgetting" something might be just the needed refocusing necessary - to redirect energy and attention. Certainly I have had other occasions where getting on with a busking set wasn't straightforward. (had to walk from place to place to find a spot, got started and broke a string etc.) - it can just as readily be, that the guidance in those moments is - accept, adapt, resume.

I had the opportunity on top of all the previous, to enjoy a leisurely lunch, in my own home. While eating I determined that I would come back into town for an errand and then to write. I ran into a friend on the bus and had a nice chat on the way to town.  I got to the library and learned a little more about the online search and reserve system.  And then on to the coffee shop for the relaxing creation of this blog along with what is currently, a more digestion friendly beverage.

Another brilliant example of the experiences that are "in the wings" to be received. It is not necessary to cling to an "intended agenda;" or lament the "loss" of an expected experience, as there is a perfectly wonderful alternatives ready to take it place.