Today marks the beginning of a five day stint of shifts which run between the hours of (3p.m. -11:00 p.m.) While this is in alignment with some increased "cash-flow," I haven't (since returning to the "work-force") been inclined to take so many pre-booked shift in advance; particularly these hours.
I am implementing some flexibility, upping my opportunity to shift my financial picture and have further resources, to meet some life goals. I'll certainly see after doing this block of shifts; how turning the day around for an extended period, flows for me. I have done this shift time before; but sporadically mixed, with other shift times and interspersed with varying amounts of time off in between.
In a way, it's all an experiment; one which has an overall theme of "Self-care." I suppose I used to be inclined to try and create some sort of patterned approach to living. An extended period of time that removed large swaths of my previously existing structure; began to show me the rigidity with which I unconsciously upheld such forms. Now I'm trying to foster a more creative approach that embraces some form and some spontaneity.
In the case of this next five days, I will be working until a time of evening that I'm often already in bed. I'm not inclined to sleep in way later while on these sort of shifts (unless one day I'm particularly tired) because I like and want, to have some appreciable time during the day, that allows for the fulfillment of other needs.
For example I considered leaving writing today's post "after work" - I have tried that a few different times and have found it a struggle to stay awake during the process. (I suppose that might lend well to my developing further empathy for those that read my posts). I don't just go right to bed when I get home; as it is, I'm all energized from working and need time to unwind. Just the same it's not a great time for me to work at something that requires my being "alert." Today then, in order to work in my writing, I've taken that on where it "fits" and is more apt to happen).
Exercise so far, has taken the form of some stretching and I will then also either walk to work or ride my bike. If I want to get to the gym over the next five days - that will need to factor in; as would any decision to play music around town.
For me I'm recognizing that sometimes my commitment to my own self-care, looks like a associated commitment to a variety of other pursuits. However at other times, the same self-care vision, might well be, that some of the a sundry focuses might be juggled, lessened or omitted altogether. A paradigm that would see omission as a "failure" would in this light, be "self-defeating."
Of course "self-care" flies in the face of indoctrination that one need be "selfless" to be a "good person."
The paradoxical way life present is that one that fully takes care of their own needs first has endless energy to direct to others. If the opposite approach is implemented (placing little or no regard for personal needs) energy is depleted, resentments set in, enthusiasm for and effectiveness at, being of service wanes considerably.
As essential to over all well-being as "self-care" can be said to be - it might seldom if ever being applauded by those in your sphere of influence.
The thing is - if I don't take it on (and ideally before there is the onset of various crisis from having not done so) who else is going to do it?
Spoiler Alert: NO ONE!
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