How About an Expanded Tolerance for the Dark?

As I cannot write from any other perspective than where I'm at while doing so; this gives me the assurance there is no mistake and that I am neither the map nor the territory, so my "locale" will change.

Today I perceive myself to "be in the dark" - which is not to say, feeling: sad, depressed, hopeless, despair, melancholy. More I would say, it is a form of "not knowing," except it isn't. There is no wholesale ignorance, with the exception of what I don't know I don't know. Even the vastness of what that might actually represent, is of no particular consequence at this time. I believe I will know what I need to know, when I need to know it. I don't feel anything in the way of concern for "my future" am I experiencing any regret regarding "my past." In this one could say I'm, both here and now. Accepting and quite content in that - "I don't know."

It is intriguing to me to have taken on some sizeable matters of existential mystery (or some of what as been conceived and touted as the "solution" to this quandary) and though I find it anything but conclusive, that doesn't present to me as being problematic. A common thread within my "investigation" and perhaps what is associated "darkness," is that I'm appreciating the opportunity to have these contrasting experiences in order to determine more of what I want in my life. How would I recognize "the light," if I didn't spend some appreciable time in the dark? 

I just watched the end of the movie "Jesus of Nazareth" (Full Movie 1977) an epic production that spans over six hours. One personal observation is that at the time the movie was being produced I was proceeding headlong into my own "Prodigal Son" period (in case you didn't know or guess, I chose the experience of the son that went out and lived to excess!) Naturally I don't think this chronological parallel has anything to do with changing the planet upon it's axis - t's just vaguely meaningful to me. 

Of the movie itself I would say, it was a highly successful depiction of the "biblical" account of the life of Jesus. Having said that, it doesn't necessarily authenticate the theological claims. It did illustrate innumerable aspects of the "human condition"playing out.  As I'm no authority on Judaism of that time, I can't say whether that was accurately portrayed.  Aside from the theological bias, many of the characters spoke with British accents. I found that to be distracting and diminished the air of authenticity (fine to have the dialogue in English for ease of understanding - but they could have at least found actors that had ethnicity appropriate to the area). I'm not sure if this raises a particular bias of the creators of this movie, or of mine?

I suppose I can no more watch something like this without my biases, anymore than the writer's and producers can keep their biases out of the end product.

As an aspect of my own ongoing spiritual inquiry - it certainly was a useful step in taking a current look at what "Christianity" is presenting and see for myself.

Borrowing again from a idea presented in one of the Twelve Step texts: "nothing can fail to keep a man in ever lasting ignorance more so than - Contempt Prior to Investigation." So investigate I will.

Whether I embrace the whole thing is not the question (unless you happen to believe the dictum - in which case, my not doing so, could be grave). My having a working "knowledge" of what is being presented; would help me to understand what is important to it's adherents and thereby, create for me the means, to a bridge between us.

I cannot walk in peace the heart and path of another - but nor is it necessary, for my peace, to destroy that heart and path.

Then we both would walk in the dark!