Sunday 17 May 2020

Behind the Mask

Have you ever considered what it would be like to be one of the "untouchables?" I have, and long before the Covid clampdown made everyone such, (or at least treat everyone else as such) in the interest of "health & wellness?"

Imagine the isolation and dehumanizing ramifications, of being labeled and treated as such; that those throughout history, with such maladies as leprosy, the bubonic plague, HIV, AIDS, and now Covid.

You don't even need to have been confirmed to be infected by, or even a carrier of, the virus to have people cutting a wide swath, to avoid potential exposure. Day to day life in modern society renders eye contact an exception, rather than the rule, at the best of times. Now I perceive, it is lessened even further. I'm going to go on the record as stating, you can't catch anything, making eye contact at anyone and exchanging a smile!

I understand there's plenty of fear and confusion a foot. Personally I'm more afraid, of loss of freedom, more than anything else. I haven't "touched" anyone against their will since all this began... I have had my character maligned and been verbally abused, by those that felt I didn't meet their criteria; or supposed to know, what was required, for the safety and emotional well-being, of someone else, on the street. There are plenty of delivery services ... if you have that much concern, then stay in and arrange to receive what you need in your own space, where you define, exactly the criteria to ensure your peace of mind.

As always, people have the right to make their own choices, though I would suggest that still ought to include some human decency. Unquestionably at one time or another, I have behaved disagreeably when at the root of it all, there was some fear, that I was either unaware of, unable or unwilling to, express directly. Still I would maintain, fear doesn't give anyone the right to be belligerent.

Talk to someone that is facing the prospect of life living with a chronic (perhaps terminal) illness - the alienation, ostracizing, disenfranchising they experience from so many others they encounter, is far more devastating than the disease itself. My fear is the repercussions that will be paid (that already are unfolding - the longer this lockdown continues).

As always this, as any circumstance, offers one the opportunity to ask of them (myself); what is my "relationship" with alienation, feeling ostracized, marginalized? How has the sting of stigmatization impacted me, in my life? Where have I directed these ways of being, and belief systems, on others.

When, where and how, have I devalued my own humanity, believing I was uniquely unworthy of human decency (common or otherwise). And what about those times, when through self-righteousness, defensiveness or a disproportionate concern for my needs or lack of concern for those of another; have I lost touch with my humanity (compassion, empathy, understanding).

When someone goes out of their way to get out of my way... do I take that personally or look within for some curiosity and concern regarding how scared they must be. It's not black and white for me - my internal dialogue operates on a spectrum between the two. Part of that is driven my utter lack of confidence in the information base, being compiled to inform the protocols. Part of that is that is being unilaterally implemented with no evidence it is necessary or effective. Other times my patience and tolerance is wearing thin for the whole damn thing. It doesn't mean I'm going to run up and give someone an unsolicited hug - I just wish some reasonableness could prevail. Then again, I do not always behave in reasonable ways - why would I put that expectation on others. I continue to endeavour to develop love and forgiveness for myself despite my occasional out-bursts of unreasonableness. I would prefer that I be given the opportunity to be seen a new rather than continually judged for previous behaviour. I suppose my common humanity requires I do the same for others.

I think its worth noting that on most any other socio-political matter there are plenty of mixed reviews on the policies and initiatives being brought in by current world leaders, science (including big Pharma) hasn't always had a blank cheque welcome, people often seek "second opinions" for medical diagnosis and due diligence is an often recommended course of consideration.

What is so different about this particular circumstance that has so many marching in step like those little spring loaded dash board dogs - trusting blindly, convinced of the patency (and potency) of non-evidence based interventions from sources that certainly don't have a impeccable history of upholding the greater good for all.


R. O'Neill (May 17, 2020)  

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