Sunday 31 May 2020

Noteworthy Inconsistency

I'm considering that my sixty plus years on the planet has afforded me the witnessing of a great many "events" both large and small. Some global some more personal (more now, I consider there is little if any need to distinguish between the two). Does the time spent here, mean I now possess vast wisdom and ultimate truth? No - not just yet. If anything, I become more acutely aware, of how much there is to be known, that I don't know. So much so, I don't even know, what I don't know; so much so, I will never know it all. (Neither will the "experts")

Still given this to be true, at any and all times, regardless of what source I choose for information - whatever it yields; I need to allow it to flow through my faculties of discernment, and make a decision that is right for me. That may represent a greater truth ... it may be influential and impact others or it may not. Either way it is an act of courage for one to "be themselves" in this world. In a society that revere's "individualism" - it doesn't take long to realize, there are no shortage of those that will only "allow" your individual expression, in direct proportion, to what "they" deem as acceptable. Beyond that one can experience resistance, "policing" of behaviour, shaming, & various forms of covert & overt hostility; in general pressure to conform.  Individuality then, is one of innumerable "ideas," that doesn't really hold up, beyond that of another cute sentiment.

Did I attain my 60 + yrs. through altruism, prudence, exemplary lifestyle? Certainly not entirely! I've done some decent acts, there's also a set of my fingerprints, on things I'm not so proud of. Do I possess the "right," or entitlement to my continued living? No. But I still hold, to the "all were created equal" idea (even though life here on the third rock from the sun, kicks the shit out of it....) I don't take for granted my life, and see it more as a privilege/gift. (and yes I continue to shine the light, upon my life to ascertain, specifically how, it has been built upon privilege - that is an assessment that is surely uncomfortable, but certainly no more so, than the people that live without the same privilege).

Some of what I have observed and/or become aware of, through reading history, is the uprising of rancour from the masses whenever  "their right" to choose to, for example to smoke cigarettes (or use other tobacco products), drink alcohol, to the south the "right to bare arms" - to the north, the "right to access to a publicly administered health care system...

Mine is not to argue at this time for the worthiness of these goods, services or even weaponry....

But I will point out the inconsistency, in those that argue their right to smoke or drink (or both) while currently, the same people will lay claim, to the need to mandate everyone, be wearing a mask in public. They have choice to consume known carcinogens and alcohol, that has a well documented history, of the potential to destroy lives - but no one, should be given the choice, about a mask that has no known efficacy.

I have seen people standing in line wearing a mask, waiting to get into the liquor store. I have seen people partially remove their mask, in order to have a cigarette, while waiting in line to buy their booze. Of course they will claim they pay a litany of taxes which further reinforces their right. To be sure there is significant tax on these items, doubtful it even begins to off-set the multi-faceted cost of the impact on society.

Indeed the choice remains up to the individual, as to what they include in their own lives - let's be consistent with that application of that ideal, shall we. Those "choices" cause known deaths and nobody is closing liquor stores or banning the sale of cigarettes. Why there even considered "essential services" during the Pandemic??

Stick with me, exercising your "free choice" to smoke &/or drink, doesn't take away from those substances lowering your immune system, in the short term and causing chronic health issues in the longer term. My wearing a mask will not protect the chronic smoker, that has already ravaged his or her lungs, from being more susceptible to a virus that attacks a weakened immune system (and as it happens, is a "respiratory illness!!" Nor will it do anything to protect those that have sustained themselves on years of junk food and are immune compromised as a result.. Yes, all the fast food joints are "essential" too - distancing in effect, while drive through business is booming with all those cars sitting idling noxious fumes into the atmosphere. Will the mask protect us from that too??

I am no prohibitionist, I don't judge addiction or anyone's lifestyle choice. (I also acknowledge there are those, for whom socio-economic standing, doesn't allow for them, to "eat more nutritionally" - that are marginalized and challenged to access activities - and wellness professionals, due to financial barriers.  They don't "choose" this circumstance. A mask will not make them any better off.

I cannot begin to fathom how anyone believes, that government policies (as delivered by federal and provincial "health officers"-  which might be publicly selected, but are most certainly closely associated with government) which include the "guidelines" for the current "crisis;" can be particularly concerned with public health, when they turn a blind eye, to so many widespread corporate concerns that are poisoning land, sea and air. Legislation protects genetically modified food producers with no need to give comprehensive labeling of food. Pesticides, herbicides and all sorts of toxic run-off from various industries is allowed into the food chain through environmental contamination. Corporations are given indemnity and are virtually untouchable in terms of culpability or accountability beyond "a slap on the wrist." "Health Canada" for years has been behind the removal of various natural products from health food shelves - none of which had harmful side-effects and many that were found helpful for a wide variety of concerns. Governments that could regulate .. do not. And now, they would proclaim to oversee a new virus on the landscape.

The wearing of masks will not protect people that have been on a long term trajectory of self-destructive behaviour. It's a band-aid intervention. More designed to create the illusion of being proactive with very little grounds to support it. Many of the "acceptable" conditions of modern society, are largely not fit, for human habitation (certainly not for healthy mind, psyche and soul) once those are compromised, physical conditions will invariably follow.  The "carrot" being offered, is a return to some semblance of "business as usual." (i.e. short term sacrifice, now will allow the return of normalcy). The status quo, is what has been breaking down immune systems, body and mind, damaging the planet that we live on and depend on - it sustains us. Masks now  - nor experimental vaccines when they are released, will not prevent humanity, from the self-harm of a continued addiction to the economic system ... so many are "Jonesing" for right this minute - so much so, they ready to do most anything for it to return. Dyed in the wool skeptics of all stripes, that wouldn't have given you a hint of confidence in government integrity, transparency etc. are now convinced, these leaders are going to "save the day?" Why? Largely because they can't conceive of a world without their "fixes." Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying a major shakedown would be in anyway comfortable - but it doesn't mean it's not necessary and, no paper mask is going to prevent it from coming.

A return to 60 hr. work weeks, regular access to Walmart & "Best Buy" and season tickets to whomever, will not prevent the multitude of factors that were contributed to humanities "11th hr." possibilities (pre-Covid). Start to make some meaningful change on these fronts, and perhaps there might commence to be seen some credibility, in "leadership," regarding the well-being of it's citizens.

And I will still maintain that experts, leaders, group-mind and social agreement should never be allowed to over-ride personal conscience & compass. There has never been a more important time to listen "in" - and follow your gut. If it doesn't seem right - no matter how many are indulging in it, it is not right.

A lifetime of acquiescing, soul-selling & people-pleasing, could well be accentuated by a life changing stand, Now! It's never too late.


R. O'Neill (May 31, 2020) 

Monday 18 May 2020

Transparency



What is 
The future
of
First dates
In 
A world
Imposing 
Lockdowns?

I
Suppose
The question
of
Whether to 
Hold hands
or 
The 
Perhaps 
Nervous anticipation
Of
That first kiss
Have
New world
Resolution

"Well..
Actually..
No..
There 
Will be
None 
Of that!!"

If anyone
Questions 
Such things
Does 
Anyone
Question such things?

Or 
Will the 
Prospective
Suitors
Stare 
Longingly
Or 
With bewilderment
Through
The Plexi-glass 
Barrier
Like
Visiting day
At the 
Penitentiary

"see" you
Yet 
You are 
Out of 
Reach
To me...
Though
Transparent
The
Looking glass
It forbade's   
Even 
The faintest
Acquaintance 

Wait 
Just a moment 
Now
That mask
That 
Barrier
Oh so 
Familiar 

To 
Be sure
Until 
Now
They were
Rendered
Invisible

Can 
Something 
That will 
Remain
"Unseen"
Regardless 
Of 
The extent
It doest 
Claim residence
Be 
Held
Responsible
For 
The plight
Of
The plentitude?

Or 
Has it 
Merely
Done 
A magnanimous 
Favour
So 
The invisible
Has become
The visible
Allowing
So 
Many
To see
Themselves
Stripped
Bare
Of 
Mask & shield

Left 
To face
The naked
Truth
Of 
Themselves
And
The world
They've
Created

What 
Then 
Remains?

Please
Will 
You
Grant 
That 
I may 
Begin again?

Allow 
Me 
To
Introduce myself


R. O'Neill (May 18, 2020)




Sunday 17 May 2020

Behind the Mask

Have you ever considered what it would be like to be one of the "untouchables?" I have, and long before the Covid clampdown made everyone such, (or at least treat everyone else as such) in the interest of "health & wellness?"

Imagine the isolation and dehumanizing ramifications, of being labeled and treated as such; that those throughout history, with such maladies as leprosy, the bubonic plague, HIV, AIDS, and now Covid.

You don't even need to have been confirmed to be infected by, or even a carrier of, the virus to have people cutting a wide swath, to avoid potential exposure. Day to day life in modern society renders eye contact an exception, rather than the rule, at the best of times. Now I perceive, it is lessened even further. I'm going to go on the record as stating, you can't catch anything, making eye contact at anyone and exchanging a smile!

I understand there's plenty of fear and confusion a foot. Personally I'm more afraid, of loss of freedom, more than anything else. I haven't "touched" anyone against their will since all this began... I have had my character maligned and been verbally abused, by those that felt I didn't meet their criteria; or supposed to know, what was required, for the safety and emotional well-being, of someone else, on the street. There are plenty of delivery services ... if you have that much concern, then stay in and arrange to receive what you need in your own space, where you define, exactly the criteria to ensure your peace of mind.

As always, people have the right to make their own choices, though I would suggest that still ought to include some human decency. Unquestionably at one time or another, I have behaved disagreeably when at the root of it all, there was some fear, that I was either unaware of, unable or unwilling to, express directly. Still I would maintain, fear doesn't give anyone the right to be belligerent.

Talk to someone that is facing the prospect of life living with a chronic (perhaps terminal) illness - the alienation, ostracizing, disenfranchising they experience from so many others they encounter, is far more devastating than the disease itself. My fear is the repercussions that will be paid (that already are unfolding - the longer this lockdown continues).

As always this, as any circumstance, offers one the opportunity to ask of them (myself); what is my "relationship" with alienation, feeling ostracized, marginalized? How has the sting of stigmatization impacted me, in my life? Where have I directed these ways of being, and belief systems, on others.

When, where and how, have I devalued my own humanity, believing I was uniquely unworthy of human decency (common or otherwise). And what about those times, when through self-righteousness, defensiveness or a disproportionate concern for my needs or lack of concern for those of another; have I lost touch with my humanity (compassion, empathy, understanding).

When someone goes out of their way to get out of my way... do I take that personally or look within for some curiosity and concern regarding how scared they must be. It's not black and white for me - my internal dialogue operates on a spectrum between the two. Part of that is driven my utter lack of confidence in the information base, being compiled to inform the protocols. Part of that is that is being unilaterally implemented with no evidence it is necessary or effective. Other times my patience and tolerance is wearing thin for the whole damn thing. It doesn't mean I'm going to run up and give someone an unsolicited hug - I just wish some reasonableness could prevail. Then again, I do not always behave in reasonable ways - why would I put that expectation on others. I continue to endeavour to develop love and forgiveness for myself despite my occasional out-bursts of unreasonableness. I would prefer that I be given the opportunity to be seen a new rather than continually judged for previous behaviour. I suppose my common humanity requires I do the same for others.

I think its worth noting that on most any other socio-political matter there are plenty of mixed reviews on the policies and initiatives being brought in by current world leaders, science (including big Pharma) hasn't always had a blank cheque welcome, people often seek "second opinions" for medical diagnosis and due diligence is an often recommended course of consideration.

What is so different about this particular circumstance that has so many marching in step like those little spring loaded dash board dogs - trusting blindly, convinced of the patency (and potency) of non-evidence based interventions from sources that certainly don't have a impeccable history of upholding the greater good for all.


R. O'Neill (May 17, 2020)  

Dead Man Walking or Dying Standing Up

With so many touting themselves and/or, the medical/scientific "experts" as heroes these days; though the Olympics have been cancelled, there are people tripping over each other, to declare the rightful occupant of those podium spots.

With all the uncertainty, I would say, that as is often the case, in "our" society; the assignment of heroism is often misguided, (or at least only accurate, when seen through a particular lens). As usual, the "unsung" heroes, are toiling away unrecognized, & in this case quite possibly, being vilified; by those convinced that their way is "the right way," and therefore once again, the "us against them" struggle rears its head. Not a new occurrence by any means.

Anyway while debates rage about who the true heroes are.. I have sat today, pondering the fragility of the human psyche (clearly not without personal bias) and admittedly, through the lens of myself in isolation.

Today has been an all time low for me, since this whole Covid phenomenon; escalated to the point where the now all too familiar dubious restrictions, have been put in place. So while others are busy hugging themselves and shitting on their neighbours, I have been asking myself questions, regarding in exactly what ways, has a "victim consciousness" played out in my life. Considering the level of shaming going on publicly and privately, through the media, the fear-mongering and persecuting; it is pretty clear that, that which I find in my own shadow, is also part and parcel, of the shadow of the collective.

I want to be clear with regard to any part of me, trying to tell me, that circumstances are being acted out toward, me or that I have no power, or agency in my own life. That includes far more than the current "pandemic" scenario. The inner terrain of my psyche was assembled long before this deal came to town - so Covid isn't the cause of my mental state; (at any given time) but it certainly over time, is proving to be the catalyst, that is putting me in touch with all of me, "the good, the bad, and the ugly."

I am no accredited expert on the human condition - though I have spent sixty plus years living it. I have spent countless hours in rooms and circles, with therapists (of different ilks) and reading from a broad spectrum of disciplines, all addressing different facets of the same thing - being human.

None that I have come across, suggest that isolation is in any way, shape or form, conducive to wellness. I have worked in health care for over forty years .. I have seen the effects of isolation, immobilization, depression and lack of mental, emotional, intellectual stimulation.

I know first hand the darkness and utter despair of hopelessness, loneliness/isolation, spiritual/emotional deprivation.

Does anyone really think, that being able to line up for hours to patronize the local Walmart is actually life-sustaining. Before Covid the employees there, were among the western world's working poor, exploited, over-worked/under-compensated. Does anyone actually believe that the working conditions have in any way improved for them? Now they have irate shoppers with the intention of hoarding toilet paper, screaming at them because the shelves are empty?

Libraries, recreation centres (in some cases) parks closed - liquor stores OPEN for business!!! People have been dying in nursing homes for years ... overwhelmingly, the deaths being attributed to Covid are in these same demographics (without actually verifying the "cause of death") - residents are subject to a reduced quality of life while alive and perhaps their deaths are dishonoured as false statistics. The working/living conditions, in many care facilities, has been deplorable for decades. Health care workers, have been trying to get the attention of anyone that might listen - most of which has fallen on deaf ears!! Chronic understaffing, out of control overtime, highest rates of workplace injuries of any profession, food and house-keeping services privatized (there's a couple of sage places to cut corners - hospital cleanliness and patient nutrition!!!).

Protect the vulnerable (including those that must show up to care for them) Then do something about a society that sees as normal, environmental degradation, unchecked development and destruction of eco-systems, toxic water, air, land - GMO foods, bio-engineering, ever-escalating costs of living and wage inequities and socio-economic disparities.

There is nothing fucking normal, about a society that has accepted homelessness and escalating mental health and addiction numbers. These people are seen as "losers" for their inability to "cope," with a world that is not fit for human habitation. In my view their only "crime," was that they maintained the sensitivity, to feel their own pain (and the pain of humanity) which became overwhelming and they chose to seek comfort.

Now people by the hundreds (thousands even) are clambering to have "their" world, return to a status quo, that is comfortable enough for them, to stuff their heads back up their collective asses; and anybody, that doesn't agree with what they think, will allow them to do so, is shamed, denigrated and if some accounts are true ... arrested??

"We" might may be sharing space here on planet earth while all this is occurring, but that is a far cry from "being in this together." I've heard accounts of people starving themselves to death in care, because they were no longer permitted, to have visitors and they themselves were thrust into isolation (? Care facilities). Who exactly, is along with those dying alone?? What makes anyone think that these draconian strategies of enforced isolation, are in anybody's best interest. People suffering from mental health issues, have always been under-served, under-resourced, abused, neglected. All this isolation will have the numbers burgeoning. Will their lives and subsequent deaths, only serve to feed a false narrative of Covid death tolls? Will the over-arching embrace of complacency, simply number them among the collateral damage, of the "war on Covid 19?" Or worse serve some maniacal agenda of "de-population?"

How many believe, that compliance with what is rapidly being shown, to be an inappropriate response, is acceptable, because they believe they will live to tell their version of, "I survived the Pandemic of 2020" assuming they will be unscathed, by the methodology, they so dogmatically upheld? (forgetting that, those that live by the sword, die by the sword!!)

"Be the change," one wishes to see in the world (said Mahatma Gandhi) - of course he, as is true with many of histories rebels, mavericks, messengers, avatars, teachers, sages, saints etc. gave his life trying to speak a "counter-cultural" message. What is "right" is often or even never, seen as "popular."

For me letting go of a victim's role (involves first acknowledging that it has been so - not a very attractive prospect I'll grant you) Our society is rife with it..... but it's seldom spoke of. Next would be realizing that, being free of it means; living in such a way, that I don't place myself in the position to be "victimized." This means, an end to "people-pleasing," following the crowd, it certainly doesn't mean one will be popular, or forgo persecution, criticism, slander, character assassination, maybe even death.

The question then becomes: does one live out their life - upholding a lie (my answer is, self-deception has been it's own form of excruciating isolation) or as the Rabbi Yeshua taught - "the truth will set you free." I suppose it remains to be seen if that "freedom," can be attained here on planet earth, while in human form.


R. O'Neill (May 17, 2020)

Thursday 14 May 2020

Writes of Passage

I suppose "these times" do lend to introspection. I know that is true for me. Not because I believe this is anytime particular endgame scenario (well no more, than there is the potential, for any day to be one's last day) - it does though seem to beg, for time spent, reconsidering what's important.

I don't intend to make the Covid "pandemic" the entire focus of this post .... though its prevalence as an event, will likely have it weaving in. I certainly can't say I'm not affected. I don't know if anyone that follows this blog, would be around to correlate the data - but just the same, I'm going to go on a limb as saying, if my time to pass over comes anytime soon, it "The Virus" will not have been my ticket to ride. Not that it will make any difference to me at that point - but just on general principle, if anyone cares to know the cause of my passing, don't let anyone tell you, there was a smoking gun at the scene, with Corona fingerprints on it.

From my standpoint, it has got so ridiculous, and so distorted at this point, that one could be hit and killed by the proverbial bus; and if an autopsy/lab analysis were undertaken, (which in the vast number of cases never happens) and there was found, to be in any way, shape or form, some trace of Corona exposure - the death certificate would read, "cause of death: Corona Virus Covid 19. When in fact, it was the B.C. Transit Quadra bus #6. All day everyday, there could be detected some or many microbial presences (some that were indeed "pathogenic") it doesn't mean, they can be implicated in the cause of death.

While I'm on the topic, another few, of what I deem to be absurdities: directional arrows in grocery stores? First of all, if this thing is so transmittable, does the direction one walks down the aisle, really make them any safer? The premise is, there will be no one walking, the other direction and therefore, you are assured safe distancing. It does nothing to prevent the people coming up the same aisle from behind, to go around you, when you stop to look at something (they are passing within the same distancing which someone walking the opposite direction would be). People certain aren't going to line up to get in and then, walk single file through the aisles, stopping each time, the person/s ahead of them stop. Do people thing the "Coronas" are marching around, in single file and following directional arrows?

When the whole arrow thing was established, at one of the local stores I shop at (which when I encountered it, it was a change that didn't exist the previous time I was there)... I went to go past a guy waiting in the check out line, so that I could distance line up behind him and he gave me shit for not following the arrows - "that were installed for guys like him" (I don't even know what that means)... my visual observation was, that he was about six foot three inches tall, two hundred and fifty or sixty pounds and wearing a mask... So what am I to deduce from his "guys like me.." statement (without question, my sardonic/sarcastic & just plain disagreeable wheels were turning) I reeled that all in and told him I was pretty sure he'd be alright. For fuck-sake, he was the one wearing the mask!! They are selling out, second only, to toilet paper and being touted as a go-to "defence." Maybe buddy should have been wearing two or three of them - simply walking past him (absolutely no physical contact and walking as far to my right as the grocery shelving would allow me (which I might add, put us at least as far apart, as the footprints, stores have gone to great length and expense to install, to give a visual, of how far is appropriate, for distancing..

While I'm on the matter of distancing, what I observe is getting the lion share of "distancing" is: common sense, autonomy, critical thinking, consideration and freedom of choice. Every day, seems to be expanding the chasm between where "we" are and where we were; as though those shopping centre directional arrows, have got society as a whole marching in unison to God only knows where. "They've gone to great length to place those arrows down - surely it is for the greater good??? (I wouldn't count on that....) My hope is that this preliminary experience doesn't go on to entirely define humanity (at large, or mine personally).

Look how quick plexiglass shields were erected, virtually anywhere that is open. I happen to know, that locally, the bus drivers were lobbying the company for quite sometime, to have protective shields around the driving "cockpit" of the bus, to prevent them from being physically assaulted .. certainly couldn't be done in a timely fashion - nothing but stonewalling and bullshit. Now enter an invisible "enemy," that no one actually knows the virulence of, and shields are materializing faster, than the Star ship enterprise crossing into Romulan territory.

At a time in history when youth have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (which in previous generations was unheard of) - inactivity and excess body weight are contributing factors - playgrounds, basketball courts, rec. centres closed!! But wait, liquor stores are open (and considered essential) since when did alcohol consumption, become part of a wellness model (except in the minds of Seagrams and Johnny Walker).

Wear a mask, take another vaccine (when it becomes available) by all means, exercise your freedom of choice to look after yourself - then stay the hell, out of the business of others, to do the same for themselves.

Don't continue to advocate for genetically modified, chemically treated, processed food, alcohol consumption, ecological degradation to land, sea and air and any number of long-standing "socially-acceptable" ways that immune systems are compromised, and then tell me, I have to wear a mask. Fuck you!

This now segues, into the idea, that had me sit down to write today. It was impressed (once again) on me that in the case of "a writer" they write "everyday." I have gone for long periods where this was true. I have also allowed the "practice" to wane to a more intermittent rhythm, and dwindle to nothing at all.

Some of the prevailing "reasons" could include: "I didn't feel like it," "I didn't have anything to say (or write about), what I may write is "not good enough..." - to name but a few.

Well now, to address them in the order they presented: If I waited until I "felt like" writing (or many things for that matter) it may well never happen! Any one that has ever met me, knows that I've always got something to say (even if I'm sitting quietly, I'm always observing, considering, contemplating, noticing, questioning etc.) As for being "good enough," well I might ask, for whom?

I will let myself off the hook and allow myself full permission, to not write for anyone, but myself. I can categorically state, that too much of my lifetime, has been spent, remaining silent or massaging what I was going to say, in order to cater to a particular audience. Well that's not going to define my writing. I'm no politician I don't need votes. I'm not vying for publishing by some scientific (or "spiritual") community, so I need not meet their criteria. I'm not aiming to appease Pulitzer committees or climb best-selling lists - should this ever be the case, it will occur, based on what I've got to say, not on how I phrase, what someone else wants me to say.

My writing (whether it has been entirely true in the past or not) is to find, represent, and express authentically my view. That doesn't mean I will necessarily hold dogmatically to one way of seeing things.... but I won't acquiesce to someone else's "butt-naked" emperor, and wax endlessly, about the fine garments he's wearing.

"Social distancing" is not new to me. I have spent vast amounts of time - alone. Sometimes isolating. Sometimes in glorious solitude and deep contemplation. Sometimes wallowing in self-pity. Sometimes spending an inordinate amount of time, entertaining thoughts that could be said to have been of no earthly good to anyone (including me). Sometimes educating myself. Sometimes listening to or making music. Sometimes connected to nature.

I have the same universal human needs as the rest of humanity - but I can no longer surrender my voice, trying to "win friends and influence people." There is no use in depending on others for continuous bolstering, nor will their disapproval, spell ones demise. Nobody's company is worth the selling out of ones soul (including mine). I've been alone before, I'll be alone again. I've been alone while engaged in, what might otherwise be considered, deeply intimate. I've been alone in the company of tens of thousands of people. It is these combined experiences that inform me, that I might find my view, in the experiences, I'm having and the mirroring of those around me - but it is my time alone, that has demonstrating to me, that when I locate my voice and choose to speak it, the "threat" of being left alone - is not cause to stay silent, nor that I was wrong to express it.

I love to read. There have been endless hours spent expanding my awareness through the ideas of others. There would also have been untold numbers of hours that I spent believing that if I absorb just the right amount of the views of all these "great" minds, hearts and souls... That somehow I'm going to be okay, enlightened and somehow of greater value (loveable).

While this field of pursuit has given me vast areas to explore in, that I might not otherwise have considered, or even been aware of; it's not a question of, whether I agree or disagree, with the views and beliefs of others. I've never felt any further assurance, trying to echo their sentiments. "Strength in numbers," is not always true for me. No man's an island - but "going along to get along," doesn't always denote "union" either.

I don't actually believe that "being in this together," is synonymous with everyone approaching it the same way.

 It's not how nature operates.

 And surely by now, it's become clear, that opposing the laws of nature, has never gone well. (Maybe not..)

Maybe this is the advanced class, of those particular lessons??


R. O'Neill (May 14, 2020)





Tuesday 12 May 2020

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind (But not until the motor starts)

As far as possessing the oft assumed "handyman" genetic sequencing that is often presumed of gender male; I would lovingly say of myself, I am generally mechanically-declined and I am far more inclined to recline, rather than get terribly engrossed in such matters.

I can on occasion "fix" some things - I was at a client's home the other day (I work in the home support field) the windows had been disassembled in their townhouse, to remove the screens for outside window washing... The "man" of the house was unable to remember, how they went back together. I wasn't there when he took them a part, which is a decided disadvantage for me. If I've had a hand in taking something a part - I might remember, how it goes back together. If there's enough parts involved in the disassembly,  I've been known to take notes etc..

Anyway, I figured it out and got the windows reassembled.

Just the same, trust me when I tell you, that whatever innate gifts others have been given, to flip something on the "barby," while rebuilding their car; gave me, a very wide by-pass.

I suppose mechanical "aptitude" is like other natural talents on the spectrum, some are more present in some individuals than others.

A couple days ago a sequence of events unfolded, that lend to reinforce my lack of enthusiasm for mechanics.. I had just recently reinsured my motorcycle for another season of riding. That in itself was a feat, what with the "normal" logistics of the insurance company all but gone due to Covid precautions. So after going to the office a couple different times (and leaving) line ups and sitting in the parking lot etc. - didn't appeal to me. Then receiving renewal notice and then a communication that my account would slip into "overdue" (on an "optional" comprehensive package ... I hadn't even authorized to be renewed) - I finally got in touch with a live representative and after probably an hour on the phone got everything clarified and my insurance.

The next thing was to see if the bike started (I suspected it might not as it had been sitting for quite sometime). Indeed after turning over a dozen times or so, there wasn't enough charge in the battery to continue..

I had been given a "trickle-charger" when I purchased the motorcycle .... There's no where down in my condo building underground parking to plug it in so, the next option was to take the battery out and recharge it in my place. I got the battery out easy enough and overnight it was fully recharged...

Then came what might have been, the simple task of putting the battery back in and reconnecting it - except it wasn't. If you subscribe to the stereo-type then the fact, that I ride a "Harley" might imply that I have the mechanical prowess, to go along with it. I am no "backyard mechanic" - wouldn't help me to be in the front yard either (if I even had a yard). Two bolts to screw into the battery to hold the battery leads in place and two other wires that I'm going to guess power the lights etc. until the engine is running..

The battery fits down in a compartment (not much bigger than itself) under the seat. The leads are not long enough and the space to cramped to be able to sit the battery right back in place and then screw the bolts in. So I had to hold the battery in one hand (the weight and width of the battery making it challenging to do so) while starting the bolt in, attaching the leads and then trying to turn the bolt the rest of the way in. Of course my hand fatigued and as I let the battery sit down inside, the lead pull the bolt out of the battery (as it hadn't turned in far enough to hold). The next thing I saw was a glimpse of the bolt disappearing out of sight and then the tell tale metallic sound of it falling somewhere into the abyss.

I looked under the bike .... Nothing! The parking garage floor looked to slope slightly... I looked further a field to see if it rolled somewhere... still nothing. I tried to look into cracks and crevices in and around the motor etc. of the bike... too dark. Which led to my next technical challenge with another nemesis of mine tech gadgetry (i.e. in this case my phone and how to open the "flashlight app") I'm swiping and poking, shaking and stirring all to no avail.. I suddenly had the urge to swipe the phone up against the concrete wall of the parkade!! No wait, breath... finally after God knows how many swipes (and why this one in particular was different the control panel appears to turn on the flashlight. For the love of all that is holy I'm not trying to bring the Apollo astronauts home... I just need some light to look for this bolt!!

I looked from what I thought was every conceivable angle and from both sides nothing. It went through my mind that it must be a standard size, I could likely just get a replacement or even a new battery if worse came to worse. But then a darker notion impressed upon my mind ... "it's probably not a good idea to have a loose bolt drifting around that could get lodged who knows where & really cause a problem.

Then I started over again. Suddenly it appeared!!! (as though it wasn't there before)...  I reached down and in with my index and middle finger to try and fish it out. There was this ever so brief physical contact and then an abrupt disconnect, as the errant bolt now slid inside this tubular piece of the bike's frame.. How in God's name am I going to get it out of there. I took a break to ponder the dilemma and  yes there was more breathing involved (okay I might have thrown a screw driver across the length of the parkade at one point it made an impressive set of sparks when it skipped off the floor and a satisfying smacking sound when it impacted the wall. The walk to retrieve along with the release of that pent up angst gave rise to me remembering I had a small bar magnet in my apartment, an actual flashlight and various needle nose pliers.

I went up to retrieve my tools and came back down on the elevator perhaps looking the part of a deranged MacGyver (tools in both hands and hanging out of pockets......)

The magnet didn't seem to work - though I couldn't see where I was trying to direct it too. The same went with the needle nose pliers however they gave me the reach that allow me to "feel" the target which I managed to pinch and get a hold of.. and then like a surgeon removing and occlusion or demolition technician disarming a bomb, I deftly extracted the bolt from its unintended resting place.

I got up from my contortionist type position lying half under the bike with the prize in my hand!!  Alas it was a sweet triumph but once which was destined to be short-lived!! I proceeded to go about once again reinstalling the battery. I was most certainly aware of what could (and did happen) but apparently not nearly enough to approach the matter differently enough that it wouldn't happen again!!!

What do you suppose the odds would be that the bolt would wind up in the same place? I don't know either ... but suffice to say, it did not so once again I'm searching the surrounding area and then go over the bike with a fine tooth comb trying to determine where it lodged itself this time.

I finally found it again!! This time despite my hand cramping etc. from holding the battery up high enough for me to turn the bolt ... I made sure that it was in far enough that it could pop out again. That procedure gave me some notion of how to ensure success with the second bolt which attached the other battery lead. (Yes this whole scenario involved only one of two leads to be attached!!)

Once the leads were securely in place, the battery seated back down in it's cubicle and the seat replaced - I put the keys in the ignition. First of all the headlight and gauge lights beamed favourably (at least I knew power was going somewhere). The moment of truth was upon me. Choke out, a couple twists of the throttle, a squeeze of the starter button, the engine turned over no more than a couple times and flashed into life!! The entire underground parking was filled with the melodic tones of the V-twin's Spring resurrection.. Okay, okay - it was likely more in truth an obnoxious thundering cacophony echoing off the parkade walls. However, after what I had just gone through that proceeded it - it truly was music to my ears and admittedly a source of great satisfaction.

I went up stairs, got some of my riding gear together and prepared to go out for an inaugural's Spring ride! Ah but not before, upon opening one of the saddle bag flaps to stow some stuff, I jiggled the bag enough that I dislodged it from it's mounting bracket. (the bags are meant to be removable, should you want to take them off)... I had never had them off since getting them installed (more to the point I wasn't sure how it went back on). Seriously!!! Now I need this learning curve? I suppose so, because I've got it!!

I got the bag back on in some fashion, as it turned out a block later, not entirely according to the suggested factory install (as it fell off again!!) Eventually with enough monkeying around I figured out how it was to be mounted and with a little body english this time I heard it snap into place and the retaining clasp close!!

From that point forward there was nothing left to do than to enjoy the ride!!

End note:

It may be that the Creator doesn't intend that everyone be "mechanically inclined..."

But patience is something that most anyone can benefit from and through employing some of this virtue an old dog can learn new tricks.



R. O'Neill (May 12, 2020)