Sunday, 27 November 2016

Once Upon No Time

Precious child of the universe
Your ravenous cries
Resonate to the farthest reaches
Of never ending time and space
Be heartened - they are heard
The answer awaits
Your willingness to harken a silent voice
You were impressed
With an orphan's story
So you might come to know
For you
Of a love so complete
That there is no part of you
That is not elementally
Comprised of the same
It surrounds you
It embraces you
It is you
No matter your resolute non-requital stance
Denied experience
Not equal to
Denied existence
Closer than your next breath
Triggered by your yes
Unconditionally accepting of your no
So endlessly patient
That none is required
Imagine an all pervasive "force"
Offering an unlimited all encompassing freedom
That flash of recognition
Allows a glimpse
Upon the unfathomable source
Yours for the "asking"
Limitless compassion reaches out to your cries
While their utterance limit you
Again and again
Know that an infinite answer
Was dispatched and is winging its way
As an immediate response
To your finite story
Live your "apology"
Forgiveness is yours
Animate gratitude with each step
I Love You

Saturday, 26 November 2016

"Be the Change/Same"

Though I'm hesitant to affix labels, today I am pondering what it is to be a "activist."  I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't describe the "marching orders" I operated from at other places in time, which might be tagged "in-activist." At least now, that which I write might have some sense of honesty, a more comprehensive conveyance and imply some form of movement.

"Movement" as it happens, is an integral part of my telling of the story. Which if one stops to think about it, might be considered a key element of "activism." I might then, need to "do something" in order to engage in activism.

There was a time when I was convinced there was a great deal "wrong" with a great many things - my  action; or rather my lack thereof, might then have suggested, I was equally convinced, someone else should be doing something about it. (Whatever "it" was).

A quick look at the online definition of the term: "activist" it produced the following list: militant, zealot, protester, radical, extremist.

It's interesting to me that this list of "synonyms" seem to distinctly have been derived from the perspective of those that would prefer the status quo remain intact. Who the hell was this "Roget" anyway?

An excerpt from the Wikipedia "bio" states: "his obsession with list-making as a coping mechanism was well established by the time he was eight years old."

One could interpret this as evidence that Roget himself was an "extremist." Who then decided to adopt his window on the world, as a main stay English language reference manual?

So, if you passionately believe in an inclusive, sustainable, equitable (to name a few) world, then you are a "zealot." If you would prefer to uphold those pillars that comprise the "establishment" (which is utilizing the same dogmatic adherence to their ideology) I suppose you have to refer to an alternative Roget page, or perhaps an entirely different book exists to define that shit.

In general terms my form of "activism" might well not align with that of others. Ongoing examination will no doubt reveal additional ways I hold fast to some idea or another; as though, "this is the way it is." I hold a vision of myself as capable and willing to undergo expansion and evolution. However, that which I "cling" to (as though it's life itself) must be considered "dogma." I don't necessarily insist everyone believe or behave accordingly - but it most certainly influences my ways of being (until such time as it doesn't).

Still, just because I might attend at a particular "rally," or put some energy and attention to the a particular cause - does not mean I will blindly follow others that claim to be "like-minded." For example I once attended a rally on the lawns of the Legislative Buildings in Victoria that was either for an oil tanker free coastline or against tankers, tar-sands etc. I suppose others there could represent a vibrant healthy life-sustaining eco-system...... (so then, innumerable people and potential motivations to be there - some known, some completely unconscious even to themselves).

Someone standing beside me proclaimed to me, "We are going to do whatever it takes to defeat these bastards....." While I can acknowledge their passion, I'm not about to be swept up in misguided "group-mind." I informed this person, there are undoubtedly things upon which we would agree, however, don't presume to speak for me; I have my own directives and won't be led anywhere. My participation can not be assumed to follow the crowd. The end does not imply unfettered rationalization, for the means.

Somewhere along the line, as life has "encouraged" me, to get off my ass - I have also been enrolled in a curriculum that is fostering in me, an ever-deepening awareness, of personal responsibility and accountability for my actions. So - just because I decide to "take action," it doesn't allow me impunity with regard to what form, those actions take.

To further clarify my position with regard to "activism" I believe one need hold very strongly to their centre whenever engaging. No one, or no group of people, can represent what is true and appropriate for you. The onus is on the one to be guided from within. Behaviour, decisions, choices of a group make it no more valid -no matter the size of the group.

Whenever there is a truth being upheld, the power of that action is "attractive." The challenge becomes, maintaining the integrity of the stand, in the face of those that profess to be joining ranks (& like minded) however, they have their own agendas.

Some spaciousness must be located between "we are all in this together" and something a kin to, "follow the leader."

 Before accepting an invitation to "join us" it might be prudent to ask, "where is it that you are going?"

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

No Small Contribution

What can I say, that has not already been said regarding the peaceful, prayerful, vigil at Standing Rock? Virtually nothing! Yet is "participation" relegated only to those that are there on the front lines of the peaceful protest? No question that those that are there; are in a great deal more jeopardy directly related to the actions of law enforcement personal, being brought in to heavy-handedly enforce the agenda, of those responsible for the pipeline's construction, than I am.

My awareness has been raised due to the courage and commitment of the indigenous peoples from all around the planet to champion for the land and I am grateful. As I consider how to expand my own consciousness beyond profit driven economies and unsustainable consumption, I deeply appreciate the challenge that presents, while attempting to connect and disconnect at the same time.

To date, I have signed numerous petitions and shared various articles on social media. Stepping beyond the status quo is not an overnight transition. And despite my daily attention to Standing Rock I know there are many who aren't talking about it - at all. Here at "home" having fairly recently undergone a change in Federal government; there is a pending decision on various proposed projects, that are of the same nature as The Dakota Access Pipeline (in as much as their very nature, is potentially devastating, to the environment - "Nature") the envisioned routes are through sacred, pristine, environmentally sensitive lands and Pacific coastline. Frankly what body of land is not "sensitive," to the assault and trauma of pipeline construction and the invariable leaks. I know of some calls to world-wide prayer and have contact info for sending on cash resources.

Governments speak of "world class" spill response (on the next breath after new technology is touted as being "far safer" than years gone by). Fifteen percent of an overall oil spill recovered is considered a successful intervention. "World class" doesn't mean spit, if those are the standards that comprise the definition.

I have foregone the use of a motor vehicle for over two years now.  To be honest I don't know that has done anything to impact "green house gases" production. I can say, that I can attest to many of the tenets of consumer society, as being false and misleading. Much that is touted as being "necessary" simply isn't. Without question, day to day life changes quite radically, when one explores divesting themselves from the "rules of engagement." It's possible, I may operate a vehicle again at some point. My point is there are many ways to usher in change. No matter what form it takes, that actions of one, may well become the inspiration for another. Change is required on many fronts. Agents of that change, must be diverse and call upon the pinnacle of their creativity; in order to represent that change.

I recently transferred my personal finances from one of the larger corporate banks to a local Credit Union. I didn't see the name of the bank I was involved in on the list of Canadian banks financing DAPL - however I know their hands are dirty in other ventures around the globe; that I don't care to be invested in. I got involved in that bank three years ago through a mortgage broker. My primary focus at the time, was consolidating some debt and "the best interest rate I could attain." Three year later I had the opportunity to "renew" and a shift in my awareness, requires that my financial world (meagre as it may be) "walks my talk." I might require one more conversation with my new branch manager to translate the tale of the paper trail generated through this transfer; but I am satisfied I have landed in a better place (for me). It may well be, that it "cost me" more to transfer; rather than just "roll over," and renew at the previous institution. However, had I stayed, the incongruence would have been for me, a more unacceptable longer term consequence.

I don't know that I will ever occur in the world as any sort of "leader." Having said that, I suggest that every one of the "100 hundred monkeys" is required to create that change "momentum." 

So as I said to begin with, I don't know that I have anything new to say. But maybe, it's just as important that I stand and be counted, while I'm saying it.

The Way of Write

Through the wonders of electronic technology my book manuscript is winging its way overseas; while I am still here on the home front, continuing to plan for my trip (which commences in 3 weeks). Once I land in London I will briefly be on the same land mass again with my gat-about manuscript. As I'm in London less than twenty-four hours before I'm off again; so the book and I will once again part company - I will be off to Slovenia while it will remain, in Britain. Of course the original continues to reside upon my laptop. (which reminds me, it might be worthwhile about now, to transfer a copy to a storage drive as well). As I consider it's transportation across the globe, as well as mine; I am deeply present to the miraculous.

This electronic medium hasn't even existed over the entire time I've been inhabiting planet earth. Overseas travel, manuscript submissions - wow, the whole thing is a little surreal to me! I am loving that it is all transpiring, I am blessed to have the opportunity, to have these experiences.

It has most certainly added to the excitement I have been experiencing regarding the trip to include in the preparations, correspondence with the individual that will now provide me with the service of "beta-reading" my manuscript. To then be followed by an editing process. Therefore the copy of the original, may soon evolve into something vastly different through this continued evolution. The whole under-taking of the book (as well as the practice the book was based on) is a continuous dance with the unknown. This will be the first time I have subject my written work to this variety of scrutiny. Previous to this, I have submitted to a few "contests" which is a step beyond, sitting on the product of my written expression - but largely hasn't had as it's aim, the providing of feedback nor suggestion for change.

I fancy I can remain open and detached and hold this process as that, which will yield the best possible outcome for this project (at least in terms of it's content and format). But how do I know? I haven't been "here" before.

There are some similarities with the trip. I have some "known" destinations and "events." Even still, they will not present and unfold along predictable lines. The rest of the trip, at present, is comprised of roughly four weeks without itinerary.

Will I continue to engage in the process of the book while I'm travelling? It's possible! I plan to have my laptop along. I had originally envisioned that I would at least continue writing to my blog. I'm sure I'm not the only client, and given both she and I will be "traveling" through Christmas - I have no idea at what rate she will engage with my manuscript; nor what I will be called upon to do with respect to revisions. Should I have waited then, to undertake this next phase, when I was "settled," back home again?

I'm going to go with - No! I was inspired to move on the travel and the book. It does feel to me that there is a fair amount of energy stirred up. That in itself, I'm finding enjoyable and preferable to stagnation. After Slovenia I'm traveling to Ireland. It's possible that once there, I will focus my travel throughout the land of my ancestors. While it's true that there is a vast history of oral tradition throughout the lands; more recent history has left a rather significant legacy of various written works (and those that produce/d) them. I can't begin to delineate exactly how my (re) connection with Ireland is part of my personal soul evolution, however I just "know" it is inextricably going to influence all that I am. What if the call of my ancestors is influencing ..... well.... all of it.

How amazing would it be, to have the opportunity to allow myself to be further steeped in the peat and marrow of my ancestors? To write my way home and bring more home, through what is written.

If I am the lens (the vessel) through which creativity can express - what more can I do to (re) member who I am, where I came from, the vast legacy of my clan, and my part in carrying that forward. I vaguely know that I am part of something far bigger than I ever imagined as one called "O'Neill." Yes I am also part of the greater whole of Humanity itself; but there is a great deal of power and foundation available through ancestral lineage. It anchors, while at the same time empowers; a place and a stand, within the whole. The whole is diminished while it's composite parts deny their potentials and soul inheritance.

Transform the messenger - transform the message.

Potency and clarity await the under-taking of an alchemical refinement. As the warrior's sword is forged through a creation process of it's own - so is the one who will wield it. It can be no different for the "writer" and what was first left on the page. Through hammer, anvil, heat and skilled use of force, iron is honed to tempered steel. In this case then, am I hammer, anvil, forge or the blade of the "instrument?" Do I participate in shaping the outcome or, is the outcome the shape I assume; once the sands of change have shifted and realized reformation?

The journey itself, all of it, is replete with immeasurable spiritual wealth. Knowing it's bigger than me  relieves me of the burden of the need to know; where it's going or how "I'm," going to get there. Mine is to open to that which is beyond me. That make my part pretty simple - I don't have to generate the power; it's really a matter of coming back to a place of saying yes, (again and again) to working with that power.

I did say I was aware of the miraculous at play. I believe this is happening all day, every day, to scores of people. In this, I'm am not unique. I believe it is a learning (or recalling) to have faith in and to expect, miracles. I can state quite emphatically that a great many more doors are able to swing open when one holds this mindset. This is in stark contrast to beliefs I have held, that would suggest: nothing like (fill in the blank) could ever happen in my life...........

I'm taking the shot. It doesn't guarantee there will be no disappointment. However, no shot, draws a very predictable result.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Branch Management

Be like the branch - "Grasshopper..."

Like the what?.....

If you will offer me your listening ..... I will elaborate...

Do you mean.... to say... no two branches are alike?
Growing uniquely, in the direction of their choosing.
Some reaching skyward,
Others bending until they nearly touch the ground.

Well that was both a marvellous demonstration of speaking
And a telling commentary, albeit limiting
Now, I will remind you once again,
Of the invitation to listen.

A branch which has assumed the solitary condition you describe
Might be better described as a "stick" or "switch."
It has by no means lost its functionality
Woven together with others
A fence or thatched roof
Stacked and aged
It will release stored energy
To warm hearth and home
Left on the ground
It's decaying form
Will be digested

However, in order to perform any of these functions
The branch will have relinquished it's life
The outcomes are rather predetermined and predictable

The distinction is the presence or absence of Source
Or better said, the "connection" to source
It's an active participation in life rather than "passive"
Source then - still providing, "fuel"
Rather than the severed branch - becoming fuel
It can then be, the conduit through which life source flows and expresses
Or, an inanimate object consumed by life.

Which would you rather be - Grasshopper?

Why do you keep calling me "Grasshopper?"

Because you are, a grasshopper!!

Know thyself Grasshopper!! Know thyself!!

Tuesday, 8 November 2016

Write of Passage

Today I took another baby step; or perhaps it's a quantum leap, I suppose it all in how one frames it. I contacted someone to enquire regarding her services which include: editing, proofreading, "beta-reading" some or all of which,  I wish to direct towards my book (long held in manuscript limbo).

It was earlier this past summer that I was given this individual's name and contact info. Clearly the advance toward readiness; was not undertaken in haste. I believe I was told she is based in England somewhere. A quick glance around her website reveals pricing in "British currency" that would seem to further indicate: "memory serves."

Why someone on the other side of the planet? To be honest, at this very moment, I'm not able to provide a particularly comprehensive answer. The friend that "introduced" her to me (who is also a writer and intending to work with her for her next project) is familiar with my book. I participated in a couple of different writing "circles" of hers. One was specifically dubbed an "Author's circle." We came together and shared with each other - parts of our book that we were currently working on, some presented or solicited reflection, on the crafting of their outlines etc. So she knows the concept of the book, she is familiar with my writing "style" and has even "witnessed;" some of the actual completed chapters.

So all I can say (he says after all the previous) is that based on our brief conversation - (which occurred while I was "busking") - I just had an immediate sense that this was the right person to work with. Of course now having just contacted her via email; to feel out her willingness to be that "right person," only time will tell, whether she vetoes or upholds "my gut."

The book is an introspective journey, that occurs while walking a labyrinth; as part of a daily practice for forty consecutive days. I "journaled" each day's insights. This is my largest writing project to date. The "readiness" factor has had nothing specifically to do with the writing of the book. It has been in it's current state of completeness for quite sometime. I suppose you could say that the ongoing preparedness, has been comprised of, the ongoing walking of the labyrinth of my life. Nothing I've done over this period of time existed on any sort of outline; which might have delineate the planned approach, to getting from beginning to end, of this project. Yet, I would submit, that all of it was necessary to, "get ready."

I can say at this point - there was a great deal of satisfaction and learning in the writing of the manuscript. However, that would fall significantly short, if I don't realize some form of completion. In order for this "book" to become a more visible presence - it will need to undergo significant scrutiny; to make it all that it can be.  I am more ready than I've ever been (I realize now) to dance with that process.

I am better equipped to deal with the "rejection," criticism etc. that is apt to be part of the refinement process. I neither specifically prepared for this; nor would it be accurate to say,  I look forward to such reflections. I acknowledge, my best work might be left "in the rough," without the experience and expertise of someone, in the know about such things.

I suppose what is shifting is my relationship with "rejection/criticism" and fears regarding the same. I have some relative separation, between me and the idea of being critiqued.

One of the most obvious objectives of walking the labyrinth, is navigating the path, until you reach the centre. The ensuing years, along with the experiences along the path of my life; since I walked and journaled the labyrinth experience, have been further transformational. I set about additionally flushing out the raw material of my journal, into "chapters." I created "suggested" self-exploration guideline questions, which appear at the end of each chapter. The events I have experienced throughout my life; since completing those processes, have further acquainted me with and expanded for me, my sense of "my centre." Is this now some unassailable fortification of self-assurance? No, that would not be my claim. Most certainly I can still continue to grow and expand. I think more accurately I can state overall, to being more "risk tolerant," with a greater knowing of resilience; qualities I would see, as being assets for some dream-weaving and manifestation.

I continue to want this for myself; consequently, even without knowing what the resumed pursuit will entail, I take that next step. Something is called for in order to do that. Doing that, will call for something further.

Somewhere I envision there is a "place" one would reside, that is neither solely concerned with recognition/visibility; but also, is both recognizable (as being of value/service to others) in which case, it would obviously be visible as well.

There are so many avenues and mediums (for the written word) one can access in this day and age - it may well be accurate to say there is unprecedented opportunity. I don't need to access them all. I trust that I along with my ongoing belief and faith, that has led me this far; the doors will continue to open  and I will be pointed in the direction I'm meant to go. Really my only "task" is to get myself out of the way; therefore, I can be open to the guidance and opportunities as they present.

At the end of the day; whenever that is, I believe I will be more satisfied having embraced the urge to write and allowed the natural evolution of where that leads, to define itself. My having "taken the shot," might never be that impactful for anyone else.

But I'm convinced that having done so; regardless of outcomes, is already it's own reward!

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Elemental Ode

While Orcas breech,
Tide pools house mass communities.
Falling stars paint the heavens.
Each moment contains a dance.
Infinitely complex.
With a choreography,
So magnificent.
That the most sophisticated computer,
Cannot begin to unravel it's wonders.

 A morning dew drop,
Adorns a solitary grass spear.
While casting a web a glow,
With luminescent pearls,
Inestimable dividends deposited upon the heart,
Of those that witness the soaring eagle.
Behold the tapestry of Autumn's finest frocks.
Each falling leaf gracefully pirouettes downward,
Where a playful wind, can coax a spiralling presentation.

Window pane canvasses.
 Winter's gallery of eclectic,
Abstract frost offerings.
Silence embraced in the shroud of darkness.
Ever while, the seeds of spring, are held in incubation.
Once suitably warmed,
The bird song aria,
Will pronounce it's arrival.
Death gives rise to new life.

Stones mark that passage of time.
Witness to all.
Wisdom there for the asking.
They remain stalwart & unperturbed whilst ignored.
Rain the giver of life.
One group bemoan it's abundance,
While another dances for it's return and celebrates it's arrival.
Cleansing, refreshing, nourishing - elemental building block.
Transportation and energy transducer medium.

Fire - warms the planet creating a hospitable environment.
Ushers in transformation through creation and destruction.
A key element in cellular metabolism & byproduct of energy production.
Natural forest management system.
While inviting community,
Warming hearth, heart and homes.
Appreciate for the moment,
The sun shines equally on all - divinely inclusive!
There is no question of who is -"deserving."

A random selection of observational musings.
Though perhaps nature itself,
Is far more knowingly selective.
What do I know?
Mine neither definitive nor exhaustive.
Another day - another view.
How delicious!
 Should I arise tomorrow,
That which was unseen, might come into view.

Therefore my list,
Whether one thousand by one thousand,
Will remain incomplete,
Never capturing it all.
It is not necessary to see everything.
Understanding too - on a "need to know basis."
Still I reserve awe and reverence,
For each element,
That composes the divine symphony!


Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Forgive Me My Trespasses!!

Today after a short four hour morning shift, I walked about for the next six hours to various appointments around town. Ironically one was with my chiropractor (who I've seen twice in the last three days). I'm aiming to get a handle on a flair up of plantar fasciitis - most certainly before I depart overseas in mid-December. At least some portion of my time over there, I have tagged "walk-a-bout;" I don't know for sure how much walking I will actually do - but I would prefer it does not become a "hobble-a-bout!" I enjoy walking, so potentially I could log considerable mileage while away. I will see my chiropractor one more time (Wednesday) before she's out of town for ten days - over which time I will continue with the "self-treatment" homework she has provided me; alone, or in combination with either another practitioner of the same or perhaps, a different discipline.

When I first felt the tenderness beginning in my foot I recognized it from past experiences. I quickly resumed using the custom orthotics I had made ten years ago; as part of the intervention for the same problem. I'm beginning to suspect that these inserts might be now "over-correcting" my feet and arches; as today for example, I came home briefly from work took off the boots (with inserts I was wearing) the pain that steadily increased over the morning, lessened immediately. I resumed my day with different inserts and shoes and the comfort level was significantly better (not perfect, but probably ninety-odd percent better). Of course now having changed two things, I can't be sure which, or whether both, in combination provide the necessary "fix."

Of course I had hoped to "walk this off" and avoid practitioners and their associated fees - in hindsight not an effective strategy. As is often the case, if treatment begins sooner than later; factors such as inflammation cycles, are minimized before they become more deeply entrenched.

It may take some time and experimentation to determine which foot wear and insert combinations work best for my movement mechanics. I'm trying to "listen to my body" - I am in fact listening, I'm just not entirely sure what it's telling me at this point.  At least at this point I'm "asking for help" & I'm following the guidance/suggestions.

Perhaps I need look not much further than the notes from Louise Hay's "Causes of Symptoms:"

Foot Problems - Fear of the future and not stepping forward in life.

Inflammation - Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.

In the last couple months the finalizing of my deceased parents "estate," has finally been resolved. It had been over two years since my mother passed, with my father passing nine months later. He passed the end of the same year and was the "surviving spouse," so this initiated the processing of their affairs. Some of the time involved was typical processing time for probate etc.; however, further complexities occurred when my sister, "contested the will."

I could go into some of that "history," but I don't believe it serves any further good. I believe what does serve; is that I look at cleaning up my part in this dynamic, as a means of obtaining greater freedom.

Love in our family was primarily expressed through money (directly or indirectly) and food. The latter is not relevant in this discussion - except to say it still can come into play (to the extent I utilize it as a "strategy," to avoid or alter my feelings - i.e. "numbing" or creating a sensation of "fullness.")

What I can't ignore here, is the "normal" dynamic of "sibling rivalry;" which I'm sure came into play, when my only child reality, was altered when this "sister," invaded my turf. Her's was always a more outwardly expressed presence, which demanded/sought attention.  I would have had the natural need for love and attention a baby/toddler requires - but was far more reserved and introverted. I used to think as a young boy that I was "out-smarting" the adults - and my sister, as I fancied I had this ability to "fly under the radar" unnoticed. Given the attention my parents offered was not always conducive to thriving, I was "happy" when "people just left me alone."

Obviously I wouldn't have had the consciousness to articulate my needs not being met; nor was it an environment, where that information would have been taken in stride. More likely it would have been taken out of my hide, or at least involved a verbal haranguing. It would also hold true that at such a young age; I had no awareness of my want of the love and approval of my parents, (vital for human survival) nor my creating the belief, that what stood between me and my receiving that, was my sister!

It's time to acknowledge these dynamics (whether they operated "a little or a lot") I wish to vanquish them from my heart, to further take responsibility for my life, choices and beliefs.

My inner peace matters more to me than holding these grudges of antiquity.

If I take away the "morality factor" with regard to various dynamics and interactions that led to my sister being "disinherited" - my part comes clearer. I used as an alibi her perceived transgressions rather than owning the projected younger age energy of the afore mentioned sibling rivalry and directed it at my sister. The same goes for  any other grudges or perceived betrayals that were repressed and left unresolved. With her "out of the way" that would mean more love (money) for me.

I didn't get up one morning and premeditate this. I had nothing to do with my parents decision, nor was it my role to "negotiate peace" between my parents and my sister. I also didn't suggest at anytime, that what they were putting in place was "over-reacting." I suppose it's not surprising that I managed to spin the story; so that I was "deserving" and entitled, and she was "getting her comeuppance." It's interesting to me; even as I examine the dynamic in myself, that one can interpret the idea of "karma," in such a skewed manner. I can in no way, shape, or form claim the moral high ground; or a past life of altruism, yet I most certainly envisioned, two distinctly different ministrations, of justice.

My responsibility is to honestly face myself and negotiate peace within myself. 

I ask for and allow the spirit of forgiveness to wash over my relationships with my parents, my sister and myself. Where there is any old hatred, anger, confusion, remorse or shame, I willingly release it and ask that love prevail. I send love to all those concerned, most importantly myself. As is true for all concerned in this family dynamic, I did the absolute best I could at the time, with what I knew and my consciousness at the time. The forgiveness I enact is not for the benefit of anyone else in my family (their journey's are their own) - I stand to gain the most from cleansing my heart. Where my sister is concerned my forgiveness in no way, shape or form is an indication that I would put myself in harms way where she is concerned. There is no implied condoning or condemnation of her actions, nor those she associates with; I will however take any necessary measures, for self care.

Over the course of my walking around to complete my errands I found in total, three poppies. Three of course, a number that is spiritually significant in numerous different contexts. The "Poppies" themselves being the familiar symbol used to remember the fallen (and those they left behind - from World War 1) on "Armistice Day." 

Armistice is defined as: an agreement made by opposing sides in a war to stop fighting for a certain time; a truce. Synonym: truce, ceasefire, peace, suspension of hostilities.

The armistice was signed at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. When I consult with sources that focus on the significance of "numbers," it yield the following insights: number 1 resonates with the vibrations of new beginnings, independence, individuality, masculinity, assertiveness, success, leadership, originality, initiative, the pioneer, organizer, instinct, courage, inspiration, strength, creation and creativity. (there are additional attributes in the continued list).

When Angel number 1 appear repeatedly it signifies that an energetic gateway has opened up for you, and this will rapidly manifest your thoughts into reality.  The message is to choose your thoughts wisely, ensuring that they match your true desires.  Do not put your energy into focusing on fears as you may manifest them into your life. (sourced from website "Joanne Sacred Scribes")

As I believe always to be the case - the information I include is only of significance to anyone, if it resonates for you personally. Otherwise you might find it interesting; or you might even consider it "hogwash." It could also been seemingly meaningless one day and powerfully significant, sometime later. What matters is in this case - is it's meaningful to me. It's conveyed through means and forms that get my attention and that serve to find some direction, meaning and or affirmation. I believe that "guidance" is available to anyone who seeks it and the infinite universal intelligence, will see to it that it comes in a form that is meaningful to you.

I share my experience because that's what I do. It is of no consequence if anyone else believes or discounts my journey.

As I found myself "called" to a bonfire yesterday (while in the midst of writing this) therefore it would not be completed, until today. While in attendance at the fire I took time to acknowledge my ancestors and their invitation to seek the fire. I offered all that was in my awareness up to the fire, for transformation. At this time of the thinning of the veils I called upon all my ancestors to assist, accompany and guide me, on this journey of personal evolution. I felt a strong connection to the fires of past, present and future. A deep connection to the humanity circled around the fire. My aching feet were "held" and grounded upon Mother earth, while I stood at the fire.

Today I observe my feet are vastly improved. Before I left my home to complete my errands, I got a call from my chiropractor. She was calling to let me know she wouldn't be able to see me tomorrow after all. She had thought she could fit one more appointment in before she leaves town - but it's not going to work. Seen another way, I don't require the treatment tomorrow - the "work" is done. She also informed me that when she returns she will be in practice for herself (no longer to be part of the "clinic" where I had seen her). She will be part of a collective of various practitioners; where she can enjoy more autonomy - new beginnings.

I was also home to receive my new passport. Had I not been there to sign for it - there would have been, at least, the added need; to take the notice of delivery somewhere at some appointed time - rather than now, have it in my possession.

I might add that I was able to put my hands on the documents which were requested by an account manager at the Credit Union. My finding them so readily is nothing short of a miracle; given my somewhat lack of affinity for the administration and storage of paper. So far my exploration of renewing/transferring my mortgage, is moving along with ease and grace.

I invite and welcome continued aid and support from my ancestors. Please continue to guide me and help me. Help me to find the courage to follow my heart and to discover and know my soul's calling and to develop the strength to carry it out.

Let it be done!