Friday, 29 April 2016

Believing then Seeing (I get it ...... at least in this Now)

My journey whether it is deemed spiritual or not, leaves me to conclude that my life and therefore writing that reflects the view I live with, must now come from outside the closet. What closet would I be referring to? Well - not the one that phrase is usually associated with. While I like the idea of being able to play with language conventions; I suppose I can't take a what is an idiom with a widely accepted definition, drop it into a sentence and expect that my varied usage will be understood as I intend it.

So then, the "closet" I refer to, is one that would keep me from living and expression an unabashed love for creation and it's creator. I will say up front, that I don't lay claim to be able to explain or to "prove" the existence of : The Creator; Great Spirit; God; The Divine. Nor do I deem it necessary for this budding love affair to begin and flourish. I resign from the debating society - the relationship is outside (or maybe better said inside) the bounds of intellectual abstraction; so time spent on trying to gain "understanding" of that which I might never understand, or to try and convince someone else to "see things my way," is just energy lost that could be directed to a deeper knowing of this love.

I will listen to the viewpoint of others both as a means of understanding what is important to them and as these finite discussions are attempting to describe the infinite; each further description I hear illuminates for me, another facet. The entire jewel if not unknowable, certainly won't be revealed at a Sunday afternoon tea.

I book that I "found" over one month ago (entitled "The Purpose Driven Life") which despite it's Christian orientation, is offering me a fresh perspective on a wide variety of matters. It has daily readings that span forty days (a number that has potent transformational power, which I have experienced in previous "practices"). I am within a week of finishing the first time through. I don't believe in coincidence, so my stumbling across the book was no mistake. I decided to read it with an open mind, not to get hung up on the theology and just see what unfolds. The book is packed full of a wide variety of biblical references, scriptures etc. most that I have never seen before on many facets of life. I have not seen them as being contained within the bible, despite some having familiarity from a wide variety of "personal development books," because of long standing prejudice on my part toward the bible. I find I am still able to hold what I am reading with spaciousness. I see that there are available through the authors website, reading guides for varying lengths of time, to read the entire bible. I am convinced I am going to experience this. Whether I ever look at the bible again afterward, I have decided I can't go through the rest of my life relating or not relating to the bible, without ever having read it. And so it shall be - I will read it.

The book outlines the "essentials" of "purpose" as being one of serving (specifically serving God). I am familiar with the practice of service from a wide variety of environments (some rooted in Christianity some not). My familiarity doesn't exclude the potential for growing and expanding my living these principals.

The book also delves into the existence for everyone of "God given talents/passions," ways to discover them, and the "purpose" found in offering them to the world in service. Again not a new idea to me - nor I imagine to many that might read this. It just so happens I'm "hearing" it differently now - perhaps the "student is ready!"

I decided to offer what I've got right now in service and for the soul purpose of glorifying God. The arena I could "field test" this in, was my busking. If I lay aside any criticism I might have toward my singing/playing and keep in mind my love of doing it first, and second, the number of positive reflection I continually receive; then here is something I can claim as a known talent (never mind what talents remain undiscovered). Who am I to shirk God's gift? Whatever talents I "possess" are not mine to (as I believe it says in the bible "hide under a bushel") they are meant to be shared with the world otherwise my withholding cheats the world and denies my purpose.

So I hit the streets over the last couple days (with nothing different in the way of repertoire) however I most certainly held an entirely different presence. I prayed on the way to the locations I intended to play at - I prayed before I started. I asked to be used in service - in love for creation and the Creator.

The first thing that happened was I fellow dropped a dollar in my case while I was still setting up. I thanked him and said "I haven't even sang the first song yet!" he thanked me and went on his way.

Next, while I was playing, a young women sat down on the grass behind me and was eating a mango. Then she got up and came over and put a five dollar bill in my case. I stopped and expressed my appreciation and she said "hey from one busker to another you got talent man - you earned it!" "Beside that - if I put five in, others will see that it's ok and do the same!" I said "I hope that comes back to you ten fold!" "Oh it will she said - Guaranteed!"

She was an angel from God, her energy was playful and fun; we chatted in between songs and she added some beautiful harmonies to some of the songs I sang. Then just as she said someone else matched her tip with another five dollar bill. I'm not saying that financial remuneration is all what this is about, however, if folks want to fill my case to overflowing, I will gladly carry it home! While I played music she offered on two occasions to get me coffee and another store patron gave me a gluten free danish.

After she had gone, I finished my set and then sat on a street bench enjoying my danish and coffee marvelling in the wonder of being "in the flow" (again not just monetarily but there's no question, if I'm going to spend more time doing and sharing my gifts" I need to be able to support myself doing it) so "Let it Be Done - If it is Your Will!"

I decided to try a new spot (for me) and set up to play at the entrance to a town square right beside a pub with outside tables. (Oh I should add that I had a "lady bug" on my sleeve which moved at times down to my hand, onto the neck of the guitar all the time I was playing - at the second spot I discovered "my lady" was still with me even after walking a dozen or so blocks to get there) I determined through the toss of a coin (which had been blessed with a prayer to be used as a tool of divination for casting decisions - as an aside my practice with this coin has been to allow the "decision" to be binding and trust the outcome will benefit me without a need to second guess the alternative choice) -  I would play here for an hour. Inside of an hour I had over twenty five dollars. People were still giving me money after I was finished and packing up. One guy called me out into the street while he sat in the car at a red light and dumped a handful of coins in my hand. Earlier in the "performance" while I was sorting through my song sheets a women ran down from the patio tables and handed me a five dollar bill and said, "I thought you were packing up so I wanted to make sure you got this, we were really enjoying your singing while we ate lunch."

While I was singing "Let it Be" another gentlemen waited until I was finished and then placing a two dollar coin in my case and said, "that is one of my favourite songs ever since I converted to Catholicism." I thanked him for sharing his beautiful story - in part because "Mother Mary" is very significant to me." It get's better, when I got to a coffee shop after playing, I looked up lady bugs (as is my practice when i have a visitation by beings from the natural world) it turns out this variety of beetle is said to have been given it's name after "Our Lady" The story goes, that crops in a particular area of Europe were infested with insects that were decimating them - prayers were sent out to Mary and the beetles with their voracious appetite for these "pests" saved the crops and the beetles were named accordingly.

Today's busking was fraught with wonder as well. After a successful session at the library courtyard (one of my favourite spots as the sound is so good - and it's quiet ambiance allows a more relaxed singing voice) - I went to another spot I haven't been to for awhile (determined by a sacred toss of the coin) almost immediately I had two American dollar bills). A little later a women stopped with her baby carriage, I played peek-a-boo with the baby while I was singing and "mom" gave me a five dollar bill. I stopped to talk to her long enough to find out she was visiting from Vancouver - she then suggested to me, I "get back to singing" you're very good and people won't pay if you're not singing."

A while later two young men walked past - I suppose my back ground in various nursing care/companion scenarios revealed to me this was one young man (with very unique gifts) being accompanied by another (with his own skill set) the one gentlemen dropped a dollar in my case, I thanked them - they thanked me (I happened to notice the one fellow had a guitar pick in his hand) they stopped a few paces past me and I stopped playing and asked "do you collect guitar picks?" his face lit up and he answered "Yes I do!!" "would you like this one?" I indicated the one I was currently using. He excitedly said "oh yes." When I saw the one he had was purple, as was the one I was using I said "would you like a different colour?" (knowing I had a few others in my pocket). He asked what other colours I had and when I told him he said, "can I have the purple one anyway?" I said "of course, enjoy it." He thanked me, his companion was noticeably touched and thanked me and then gave me more money.  All this was made possible by a flash observation of a guitar pick in the young man's hand as he walked by (and then following my guidance to ask him about it) - most of my life I have been of the opinion that I see "useless" details in life - I see things nobody seems to notice or care about was my assessment (so what's the use of seeing them? - blah.. blah.. blah) I was shown today, that a seeming insignificant "seeing" can be very meaningful to someone.

I later wound up singing in front of one of the liquor stores - the sun was still shining I was enjoying myself and after finishing a song I bent over to get another song sheet and when I stood up my guitar caught under my music stand and tipped it over. Just then I fellow came out of the store and asked me, "have you had a drink yet today?" I responded no - he said, maybe you ought to!" smiled and handed me a mini bottle of "Captain Morgan's rum" (I haven't drank for over twenty nine years) but I didn't want to be ungracious so I took it, thanked him and slipped it in my pocket.  A short while later a fellow who had come by on his bike came out of the liquor store and was unlocking his bike to depart. ( I see him around town regularly - he generally has bags full of "returns", which maybe he emptied himself, maybe the hard-earned gains of binning) anyway I stopped playing and said "brother, would you enjoy this?" reached into my pocket and fished out the rum. I further stated, someone gave me that as a tip and I don't drink, so I thought you might like it?" He said, buddy you just made my day!" "You sound really good, I'm sorry I can't give you anything!" "That's quite alright I said, this has nothing to do with you giving me anything - "I received this as a "gift" and I just wanted to pass it forward to you."

After completing my singing there - I treated myself to a couple slices of delicious pizza and caught a bus into town. I was sitting in a coffee shop writing this story and even though I knew, from the hours posted on the door, there was one hour until closing, I asked one of the servers for "confirmation" she indicated that they were closing "early" tonight (not very busy). I finished what I was currently writing so as not to lose my train of thought, packed up my stuff and left. I went in the direction of another coffee shop to see if it was open, the same direction would take me to my bus stop alternatively. There was a gentlemen in the middle of the side walk having a smoke, I walked around him. After I passed him I heard, "would you like to make a few dollars?" I turned to see it had been this same guy that posed the question. "What do you have in mind?"  I asked. "Do you play?' with a head gesture toward my guitar. "In fact I do." "I'm sitting on the patio with my lady friend, could you sing her a song?" "Would you get in trouble?" "I can't see why I would, only one way to find out, let's do it!"  He pointed out the table he was sitting at and laid out "the plan" do you have a song that would be appropriate?" he asked "Well of course it's quite a personal choice, I replied, but would she be familiar with "John Denver?" He said "I am" "Well then, how about "Annie's Song" "You fill up my senses.......... etc.) "Ya that's perfect!" he said.  He slipped back into the restaurant and I set up outside where his girl friend was sitting. When she finally noticed me, I indicated that I had a song to sing for her. She looked surprised at her boyfriend and when I began to sing they embraced and kissed and kissed some more. It was just like a scene from a movie - except I was in the movie instead of watching it. It was so beautiful to be "used" for such a tender loving moment. I finished, people in the adjacent patio enclosure were applauding; the couple were very grateful and I was touched beyond description. While he went into the restaurant to get some cash to tip me, I learned that they were together tonight "a reunion" after a twelve year absence. I was awe struck at being orchestrated into this scenario. He returned thanked me profusely and slipped me twenty dollars. I quickly packed up and left so as not to impinge further on their space and the amorous exchange that was ensuing.

All in all, an extraordinary sequence of events (for me at any rate) giving full credence to the adage "God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform." (incidentally I'm not stuck on God being "him" - I don't however feel I can take poetic license with the scriptures even if I'm still exploring what I hold to be true).

Thursday, 28 April 2016

Please... Ears to Hear within the Silence.

When I consider my life experience to date it occurs to me that it is framed by an excess concern for and supply from, the material plane and a deficit of the more intangible, albeit life enriching qualities, which some identify as being; if not the cobblestones, then perhaps the mortar that binds them and therefore a key component of, the "spiritual path."

As a frame of reference, I have read in the "bios" of others the claim of "urban mystic" or "monk" God knows (pun intended) "ordained" by whom. I would prefer to avoid comparisons despite I suppose it now being too late - however I hesitate to lay claim to such labels/titles partly because I don't know when I would have attained apt experience to wear the cloak and also to apply such tags are bound to illicit preconceived notions in both the reader, not to mention in I, that is doing the writing.

I can say I've been a life long seeker of truth; even when I spent as much time tripping over or falling on, the sword of acclaim, as wielding it with anything a kin to prowess or finesse. Perhaps even still my skills might be better suited to a dry-land sort splitting rough cut logs than possessing the necessary sensitivity to perform a delicate surgical extraction (no offence intended to woodsmen or surgeons).

I  am in awe of the heart and soul of those who walked paths of their own - perhaps only to reveal that it never was theirs to begin with; their passion inspires every fibre of my being. But no longer  do I want to reference in my writing what they have said or done; preferring now to both live or die on my own experience.

Can I lay claim to a "calling" when I initially sought to ease my own pain? My short answer (which is practically impossible for me) is I now know the "pain" was not recognizing I was being "called" and therefore ignoring that which sought me, not to anaesthetize, but to love me. To be clear, this in no way  makes me "special" - I believe anyone and everyone can and is "called" but can choose when or if, to listen.

I suppose I would be completely hamstrung - without utilizing some forms of definition particularly as I choose to express through writing; each descriptor simultaneously limiting. At best, I attempt to hold them lightly allowing all expression to have an organic expansive quality.  Having said that I consider my writing to be contemplative; conversely at present, as I write this; rather than the solitude of a "monk's chamber," I am in a downtown coffee shop where an "open mike" is underway. Though I sometimes wear the clothes of an "entertainer" tonight I'm hear (ing) to provide the listening (I had no idea this event was on tonight).  I came alone - though I suppose it could be said I am here along with everyone else. Not being sure how one establishes the truth of a particular claim - I would say nonetheless, that I have mined my aloneness and loneliness long enough, to find the door to solitude and now cherish it's spaciousness and portability.

What a sonically diverse menu of styles, song choices and expression that is being served as I sit here - for me what is worth noting, is the heart and soul of each man (the opening performance was a female vocalist/musician and has been all male since) I watch as each in turn shines that much brighter having extended their offering and receiving the love and appreciation of an audience that is easily out numbered by the collective performers. " Brothers with arms" - musical arms - while I am engaged in writing I am present to my part in the give and take of appreciation. Seamlessly I appreciate them showing up, while extending them appreciation. I can't even begin to ascertain how the energy they are sharing is influencing my expression. I suppose I might take further license to "jam"(or use that as an excuse for my writing that is pretty much free association and "stream of consciousness"all the time; while at the same time, I have an opportunity to express my appreciation - to see to it that these folks know the love that they are (what they do with that later is not my business).

So I'm not sure "it's better to give than receive" I can't tell where one ends and the other begins - I can say it's better than just taking.

All these people are putting "it" on the line - they are risking of themselves. I know the balance between encouragement, confidence building and willingness to show up again. It can't be completely about external approval, at the end of the day internal fortitude might be more important in order to suit up again; but some appreciation along the way is certainly of value. If I find "my world" is lacking in such things as appreciation that might then behoove me to be the supply of appreciation or at least the vessel through which it flows.

It seems to me increasingly unlikely that my part is just to point out what is missing in the world - instead I could be conceiving how I'm going to ensure, that I do my part to fill in the gaps.

The coffee shop was about to close - I expressed my appreciation directly to some of the musicians and walked the short distance to a bus stop. While I waited I observed the atmosphere and changing face of the Victoria streets after dark. There is no question I was richer for my time spent. I pondered the apparent struggle of some that roamed the streets - looking to be seen, wanting to be heard and understood; many angry and in pain. I can best serve by trying to understand and loving rather than judging.

Now at home I consider some of the ideas that went through my head as additional tangents to what I have written. At this point it seems even to me, a stretch to try and weave them in now. Perhaps it is preferable to just allow them to fade into the silence as I allow just that, to envelope me within my sanctuary.


Tuesday, 26 April 2016

My Love - Your Alms

Will I pilgrimage through unknown worlds
That I might make your acquaintance?
Will I ply the waters of inner space?
Dismantling illusory walls.
Chemical keys,
Unlocking previously unseen doors.
Will this then win your favour?
Will I discover your heart,
As I renounce the world's oyster?
Can I come to know you,
While I hunger - at the banquet table?
Will plummeting three thousand feet,
Proclaim my faith?
Is the silence,
Twenty fathoms beneath the sea,
Enough that I might hear your name?
What is left but to dare to love you?

Friday, 22 April 2016

The Hunger Game

To coincide with a 6 day workshop I participated in recently, I was inspired to fast for the entire time. With no prior "experience" or research I decided to allow myself to be guided through the process. As a result;  I consumed water, green tea and coconut water (to ensure my electrolytes remained adequately maintained).

The workshop itself I won't describe in great detail; as that is not the focus of this post. Suffice to say, it contained aspects of self-exploration, spirituality, mysticism and self-development (to delineate a few facets). Limiting beliefs, paradigms of all varieties can and do come up for examination. Long held boxes comprised of wounds from the past, mistaken beliefs can be discovered and released creating a space of possibility from which to live into life more fully.

A couple of weeks prior to the workshop, I had already resumed additional physical activity and revised my nutritional intake in order to drop some weight quickly - with the idea being, when it came time to reintroduce a wider variety of foods type it would be done on a selective basis. The day of the workshop I ate fairly lightly mid-day and I had intended not to eat again before arriving that evening. (my past experience in the workshop was that a "heavier" meal often didn't sit well with me once I began to participate. During the first evening there was some general informational discussion primarily targeted at new participants. It was during this sharing that the idea of "fasting" was briefly touched on. Even still, the idea of it touched something in me and it was on!

I haven't gone completely without food for quite sometime, so that in itself figured to make this an illuminating experience for me. I really had no idea how I would respond to this and very much took on a "one day (or portion of the day) at a time" with respect to managing myself within the container of potential ongoing hunger.

I felt it important to frame this commitment as a portal of self-discovery and to minimize the idea that it was any sort of deprivation or punishment. The idea was not to create suffering. Nor was this to be a "demonstration" of any "holier than thou" or superiority. It was to be upheld as something I had taken on for myself and therefore an act of self-love; while at the same time, it was to happen parallel and autonomously to, what anyone else was doing.

The experience of "hunger" didn't vary a great deal through the ensuing days.  It became somewhat more acute after whatever I'd had to drink digested and lessened when I took in some fluids. I certainly noticed that I began to anticipate the "flavour" of the few things I was taking orally through the day (including tooth paste in the morning and evening and even the 15ml of a natural elixir I took each morning that was a combination of ingredients to lessen inflammation and repair tissue - the rest of the day was "taste-less.")

I never really experienced any drop in energy, though there was the odd occasion when I felt a little "woozy" (however not for long). If anything, my energy was elevated and more consistent throughout the day and as there was no "meals," there was no post-meal drowsiness.

It began to become clear that the volume and frequency that I often ate was arbitrarily established and certainly didn't strictly speaking, represent; replenishing the fuel tank.  Food (where I'm concerned) being so readily available and universally socially acceptable, can be consumed anytime, anywhere. My use of food to "fill the void" and/or repress feelings I was consciously or unconsciously trying to avoid became more apparent. Conversely my dalliance with fasting ensured that I was present to all my feelings (and those of others) far more consistently.

As well as my personal consumption habits being brought more to the foreground, I also became aware of this sensation of hunger being the constant companion of so many in the world and for vastly longer periods of time than my fasting period.

I must say that "getting back into my body" the practice and suggestion of so many different paths is most certainly facilitated through this practice. Frequent over-eating on the other hand, just leaves me "feeling" dense, sluggish "stuffed" and numb. Physical detoxification I understand to be a consequence of fasting, so I'm sure I have benefited in this respect.

Reflective interaction with various co-participants was varied throughout the process and while not a motivating or mitigating factor, still, an interesting factor to ponder. Some folks were "encouraging" and inspired by my having taken this on.  At the other end of the spectrum there were those that often offered me food. Possible reasons for that might include social conditioning and a desire to ensure everyone is "included." Other rationale might involve "group-mind" sorts of views that are more comfortable when everyone is participating along with the group. There could even be some with the unconscious desire to have me "fail" thereby deriving a greater sense that it is not necessary that they change anything or uphold any sort of commitment for themselves. I outline these possibilities not to specifically suggest I encountered any of them or to accuse anyone. Rather I became more aware of the need for, the challenges of,  and personal responsibility involved, in upholding my own path. Even if I experienced any of the previously mentioned sabotage attempts - at the end of the day, if I succumbed to an outcome contrary to my vision; that would have been a decision and action I took. As such, the only one that could be held accountable for that is me.

I believe that having successfully completed my objective I benefit on multiple levels. The ramifications exist both for the short term and a longer range impact. I strive to "play a bigger game" I acknowledge that will unquestionably involve in various ways, the "stretching of my comfort zones." This experience shows me that I can continue to "show up" for a commitment that asks something from me. I can hold my own path while it is being questioned or when I'm being invited to join others in their pursuits. I have no desire to posture myself as "better than" through activities such as this. However, I need to know that I can do it. I need the expanded experience of charting and maintaining my own course. This is something I'd would love to help foster in others. (to be clear -their following their own guidance and visions - not the following of mine).

In my desire and design to deepen my connection to life, nature and that which created it all, I recognize the need for deeper connection to myself. This in turn allows for a deeper connection with those around me as I can share more authentically from a foundation within myself. As this latest practice has most certainly set me on a good path of physical revitalization (as well as emotional/spiritual) it reminds me of the need to honour and appreciate my body as that which houses my heart and soul. Then I must lovingly follow my path without judgment or concern for what others are doing (or not doing) with or without outside approval.

I'm happy to be eating again - I have my sights set on making lasting changes to my nutritional intake. And while my digestive system comes back on line, which is a prevalent legacy of this practice - I am infinitely grateful for the abundance of food I have access to and that I have the "luxury" and have been extended the grace, of being able to attend workshops that offer transformation and expansion and that I can actually choose to go hungry or not.

While there might be more revelations to come regarding this latest time in the circle I can say at this point that while I "hungered" for food I became distinctly aware there are other aspects of life that have nothing to do with food - that I truly hunger for.

Saturday, 9 April 2016


At birth cast adrift,
Exiled from flesh & blood.
Tradition, history, spirituality.
An alien,
Upon my Home and Native Land?

You're with us,
All this is yours.

A rift ensues,
A conflict so profound.

Reticent to renounce,
A magnificent generosity.
Offered an ill-fitting skin,
A drumbeat disharmonious.
Perhaps, it could be worse?

Internal angst,
Stirred by an ancient call:


The source and answer both


To the voice carried upon the wind


With the rhythm of the rivers


Along with the ebb & flow of the tides


With the starlight


Before the Sun & the Moon

In all is the ONE

In One is the ALL




Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Creative Reverie

Relentlessly rain wields erosion's chisel,
upon crag and precipice.
The artist's vision,
An apparition calling to her.

Revelation withheld,
While a courtship unfolds.
Chaperoned and shaped,
By the pirouetting winds.

The mountains carapace of granite,
Appears stalwart and unyielding.
Creativity marked by eons,
Denotes an awe-inspiring patience.

Each numinous exhalation,
Clears the vagrant cloud cover.
To reveal the face of time,
Echoing it's wisdom.

Friday, 1 April 2016

Soul-based Tourism

In what some metaphoric references might deem the mid to late summer, maybe the early fall of my life, I have been inspired to bring more creative expression through and into the world.  At the present that takes the form of writing and singing. Whether the metaphor is apt or not is anybody's guess, could just as easily be "over" later today for all I know; which I suppose then would be deemed the rapid onset of "winter."

Nothing unusual about someone embracing different latent talents or discovering new passions "later" in life. In fact I suppose closer to the truth, is that there is no "right time." Some are aware of their talents/interests early in their life and both pour themselves into development and are encouraged to do so.  Others may not receive any such encouragement, perhaps instead have been subject to controlling influences that directed their "vocation." Also possibly they have spent a significant time distracted by indulging the layers of patterning that set them on a trajectory; that kept them plying the waters of the familiar shoreline, rather than embarking on the vast unknown of the open sea.

So far I have only referenced creative pursuits that fall into what are commonly known as the "arts" (which of course can be the vehicle for endless creative expression). Creativity is by no means restricted to these performance and visual arts. Creativity can be actively engaged in any facet of living.

It has occurred to me lately that through the ongoing pursuit of my chosen mediums I am continuing to search for my voice. Which is to say I am seeking the voice of my soul. In part the selection of the mediums might represent "soul choices" however I believe it just as accurate to say a pathway to my soul is being provided through the mediums which is facilitating further development but is not reliant on those mediums. As such, I don't know for sure that I will continue these forms of expression indefinitely. I don't see this as a pre-mediated copout. I literally don't know.  It's more a case of knowing I'm committed to the further realizing of my soul, but I acknowledge that might take different "forms" along the way.

Frankly, if I was going to quit because the going presented some bumps in the road or allowed myself to succumb to the expectation of immediate gratification I would have bailed long ago! The thing is, soul development can and does take place; though simultaneous with earthly/material pursuits, the outward appearance might belie the inward journey, so that the latter is not dependent on the former.

Whether through singing or writing as the "vehicle,"a ripening takes place over time that is part of my personal maturation. This process certainly could be accessed through other means, each need only go where they feel drawn and use what they discover about themselves along the way as further catalyst. It's not necessarily through "activity" that such evolution occurs - there are countless stories of those that have undergone profound transformation while themselves infirm; perhaps for a long term period of time when they were the most "in-active" they had ever been.

These soul-directed directions might well "defy" ones own "logic and reason" at least I have experienced this to be the case. There certainly isn't a neon sign outlining the outcomes whenever I feel "nudged" to be, say or do. And to be clear one should forget about applause in any form for such choices, at any given time your decision to follow your heart might well ruffle the feathers of those closest to you or have even more widespread implications.

I'm not sure that it would be accurate to say I'm being guided by "morals" in fact, I believe the "framework" as such must go. There are endless examples of group consciousness that are said to be acting from some moral high ground that have committed all forms of atrocities. If "the law of the land" were to be the benchmark, the likes of Schindler, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, Gandhi (and innumerable others) would have sat idly by while the "powers that be" called the shots.

Things begin to move and shake outside that which is already established (familiar) I believe that can be said to be true "without" and "within." Which begins to point to why the gatekeeper known as the mind keeps trying to run interference as one (certainly myself) begins to trace the wispy threads previously lying dormant as the seeds of potential. The stirring may be just barely perceptible at first and may present as implausible, maybe indefinitely; if trust and faith aren't exercised as well. I would suggest that a significant power is at play here. Consider the immense force at work when a seed germinates below the surface of an asphalt or concrete surface. So much so that even though there is no perceivable tremor or "explosion," just the same, when the time is right, this life form erupts through what might have been thought to be an impenetrable surface!

There is so.... so, much I don't know or understand; in this moment that doesn't present as any particular threat! This same lack of knowing applies to myself as well. Given this, I can't assume to be able to express in absolutes. A recent perceptual experience demonstrated to me an example of deeper awareness on my part of what was going on, right in my midst.  A month or so ago I got another piercing in my ear lobe. As part of the post-procedure care I was instructed to soak my ear in warm water and sea salt twice per day. When I rested my head on the bowl of water to allow my ear to submerse, suddenly I was aware of a variety of others sounds that weren't "audible" to me otherwise. I suppose the sound waves were transferred to the water where I then could "hear" them in some fashion. I suddenly realized (in part) the gravity of various military testing of explosives and the impact that would have on dolphins and whales (for whom hearing is exponentially more sensitive) - I do digress.

It also immediately occurred to me - just how much is going on "beyond my perception" I may never know, but I would suggest it is astronomical to say the least. How can anyone ever be "bored" when there lies in wait so much to be explored, discovered and experienced? I don't think it's actually possible - unless one mistakenly holds to be true they've "been there, done that" UNIVERSALLY!

I suppose the road to discovery must begin through the familiar. Some of those "discoveries" may well come as a result of an "accidental" departure while traversing the familiar. While it can be great to take on newness in different areas of ones life - it might well be equally profound to explore that which still remains unseen within the familiar.  A mindset can be a severely limiting lens.

I read the intro page of a book that is someone's presentation on the writing of poems. It suggested that it is not necessary (or desirable) to repeat what has already been said. In order to "break new ground" one then, was advised to read that which exists in order to know when a new form or observation was being expressed. (or at least read the complete works of someone). Either seems rather daunting to me - however I see what they are driving at.

I certainly enjoy reading so some attention to the works of others will no doubt be inspiring. I suspect though that my truth and authentic soul voice will be attained as with the story of the creation of Michelangelo's "David" - by chipping away all that is not me!