Once again I return to the unwritten page, after a sizeable absence. It's not particularly an explainable departure; either that, or I don't feel the need to explain. As a matter of fact, I haven't felt inspired to write. Also true, I have concluded, I have an intention to write and even so, I still don't "feel" inspired. So then, I'll just write!
I began to exercise this intent last week, only to discover I couldn't access the "dashboard" interface of this blogging platform - therefore, no writing. I could see my previous posts, but that was it! I looped around the site, going and getting nowhere fast; other than a tad exasperated. I began wading through some of the FAQ's links, but couldn't find anything that aligned with my specific issue. I couldn't find a specific spot to "ask for help" so I sent a message through a link called "feedback." So far, sometime approaching a week later, I haven't received feedback or an answer. (at least not in the form of a reply).
My imagination was intermittently, spinning scenarios that I had been "blocked," due to contentious content. Thankfully I didn't go off half-cocked on that tangent, as it didn't reflect the truth, or the entire truth (but then again, what does?) While it may be true that I express, from time to time, contentious viewpoints - it was not true, that I had been blocked.
I had some time yesterday, so I revisited the site, and this time, I did find a clue in someone's question thread. Turns out there are different username/passwords for the "Google platform" in general (my apologies to the purist's if my tech-terminology is not accurate) I'm not a "techie" & I don't care! the blog platform also has its own username/password. I have what I choose to deem, present moment consciousness, by which I mean, at different places in time I may have been called upon to create these different "identities," and then moments later I would forget about them. In the past, I would just come and go from the blog platform; I suppose I must have remained logged in, as I always had access. For whatever reason, I was no longer "logged in," and my attempts to do so, were continually done with one of my other "Google-related" ID's.
Once I used the right combo for the right site ... boom I'm in!! No surprise to the geeks of the world, I'm sure. I use the term geek, uncertain, that won't illicit the same perception, as any other "special interest group" that is comfortable speaking of themselves a particular way, but loathe to allow anyone else to refer to them as such. So at the risk of invoking - "the Revenge of the Nerds," I have done so anyway.. As far as I can see, the world has been living this Revenge over the last two years anyway - so they can hardly expect anyone to be enamoured with them at this point! (but I digress).
I still have, mostly disdain for technology! I acknowledge the on-boarding id I was attempting to use was erroneous, and I maintain, I would never be locked out of my journal. Why the need for multiple "platforms" - id's, passwords etc. I would have likely named them all the same thing, if I was given that option. As that seems to be generally discouraged, there's not a prayer, I'm going to remember all this malarky!
All in the name of "security." So feck'in secure, I can't access my own stuff!! Brilliant that is! Of course the flip-side of this "security" analogy, is increasingly, the public at large, is being denied access to the truth (on multiple fronts). I don't know about you, but I don't feel any sense of security, having one select group, dictating the "truth,"and censoring the rest; resulting in large swaths people arguing for, and living a lie (or series of intricately woven lies). The only ones secure in that scenario, are the ones seeding the lies!
Fortunately, or so it seems, though those scripting this tale of lies, as long pre-meditated and diabolically ingenious as it may have been; seem to have missed the grade-school lesson; that once one sets out to lie and weave a path of deception, it becomes increasingly difficult, to conceal the lies, or remember each lie, that has been expressed. The result, the house of cards becomes destabilized and falls; exposing the illusion and those that spin them. I don't sit and contemplate the demise and punishment of those involved, this to me, would be a fruitless endeavour. I am reminded though, that any number of individuals have chided me or have public spoken the same, regarding choices and consequences. I have been living the "consequences" of my choices for two years now. That has been my path & those were my choices.
It will be the same for those that orchestrate deception! "Live by the sword, die by the sword.." I don't need to wish any of them ill-will. I suspect they are planting the seeds of their own demise ("consequences..").
My aim and responsibility is to live my best possible life and version of myself. That means to me, I don't harbour resentment. I don't ruminate about the acts of others and what they "deserve" in exchange. I do the best I can, with what I've got! I look to bring my gifts to bear, in service to the world.
I don't grind axes, point fingers and wish dire consequence toward anyone. I disagree, I look around and much of what I see, occurs to me to be misguided, but I have spent enough energy trying to change others. I now, bring the focus back to myself. What do I have the power to change. The entire Charter of Rights can be re-written or burned and I still can say No!
Security is such an illusory quality. How many have been, or were, "secure" in career paths, societal institutions, family, friendships, public amenities, only to find each of them, was unraveled and revealed nothing, in the blink of an eye!!
How many lived a life, that included a rather passive or apathetic attitude toward discrimination? (until they found themselves the target of discrimination). I have been examining my apathy for quite sometime, however, I never expected to experience the level of discrimination, that currently is occurring. (all calculated).
Behold the voluminous acts of betrayal .... as so many, cloak themselves in self-righteousness and turn on any they consider unworthy of their allegiance. Not so "secure" in those relationships any more eh?
Look around and reckon with the power of addiction.... so vast and so all-encompassing, that thousands with throw their neighbour "under the bus," so that they can continue to access those distractions, that may well "amuse them to death."
Consider the behemoth fear, and all that it conjured! People have sold their souls, put themselves and potentially those they "love," at dire risk.
All this made possible by an insatiable thirst for "security." I think as history has shown, and is likely still to prove true, one ought very carefully consider, where or to whom, they are looking to, for "security" and the price being extracted. It may well become more evident, first of all they are offering something that they cannot (or never intended to provide), second it never was theirs to give and lastly one will never find it outside themselves.
R. O'Neill (January 04, 2022)
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