I feel inspired to express gratitude right out of the gate, to whomever reads my blog posts. I literally don't know who you are - as aside for a couple exceptions I have never had any direct feedback from anyone. I am not wishing to unveil anyone from their cloak of anonymity, that has nothing to do with the intent herein. I want to acknowledge that whether readership is one or ten thousand and one, I appreciate that those that have read, continue to read and/or have suggested the site to anyone else, and extend my heartfelt thanks. I recognize that each of you have lives filled with a great many complexities all of which vie for your time, energy and attention; therefore, anytime you have spent "with me" and my musings, observations, insights, inspiration and yes at times opinion - honours and touches me deeply! I sincerely hope that the contents are of some value to those that take the time to read and by that I mean, illuminating and inspiring; not that I'm suggesting they reflect "the way" nor the last word (not even for me) but that they might evoke curiosity, personal expansion and evolution. Again I don't claim to be the purveyor of the map, the gold-standard of achievement or do I position myself upon any mountaintop (well, unless I'm out hiking then I've achieved a few summits). I aim with my words, to deepen and expand my own authenticity and embrace transparency. As I discuss my journey, regardless of what I achieve (though I certainly want to allow and advocate everyone else, celebration along the way) I never want to lose sight of my humanity. Though along the way naturally, I am faced with my own fears as I challenge my own comfort zones and at times while processing that, I may well delay my bringing something further into being, I'm not afraid to admit my fallibility. Believe me just because I have a "blog" doesn't necessarily mean I've got it "all going on."
It's laughable really, I can remember thinking of those that had blogs and were published etc. "holy shit" how do I get from "here to there." Well, I have a blog and I'm closer to being published (by which I mean a book) than ever and I'm still me! Now, I neither wish to inflate my accomplishments nor diminish them - but I know full well there are those that believe what I've done impossible for them, or they are wondering if somehow it could be and there are those, that have so far exceeded anything I've done to date it might appear I've been cryogenically frozen (though in part, a metaphor, the frozen part has a ring of truth about it at times - sometimes I have imposed my own "ice-age" upon myself). Of course one way to bring the reign of paralysis upon myself is through comparison. Truly it doesn't matter what others have done (or haven't done) I'm on my own trajectory (as I believe everyone is) so freaking myself out by considering the accomplishments of others serves no useful purpose. (emphasis on the useful).
It would have been inconceivable to me that one day I would have a blog (for one thing earlier in my life there was no such thing as a "blog") with international readership, yet this is the case. I have so far, lived my entire life in Victoria, B.C. Canada, one might have thought I lived in a walled medieval city given my mindset of yore - I never really thought I'd even know anyone "internationally" never mind - that some might care to read what I wrote. So then, my "medieval walls" have been largely between my ears and though there has been significant dismantling, I acknowledge as part of my continued growth, the ongoing disassembly, while at the same time, (for the most part) embracing it as an adventure, rather than an overwhelming trudge.
That there are "readers" at times to me is staggering! I couldn't even begin to elucidate how that has come about. Well I certainly could take a stab at it (but I won't) as I don't want to induce comas via the internet (though it might be an advance in "sedation" without any risk of side effects). Without those that have shared this journey or even having the foreknowledge of past experience continue along for the ride - I would be "screaming into the void." (which I have been known to do from time to time anyway). Though I don't know that I could continue that indefinitely. I certainly can be completely absorbed while I write - so it's not without it's satisfactions, however, I wish to acknowledge that for me it is most certainly a symbiotic relationship - nothing I've got to say in written form is ever more important than he or she that might read it. I don't know how commonly (or popular) it would be that a "writer" lances the bubble of the "writer's mystique" but it's not a mask nor persona that I need or intend to uphold for myself. While most certainly there have been those in my circle of influence at any given time period in my life, that may have queried "what the hell is he doing now?" I might well be only truly, a mystery/enigma to yours truly (which is perhaps how it is intended in order to keep one engaged in their own riddle).
So there we have it, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
I suppose I could have let that last sentence stand to uphold all I wished to express? However, if so it would have stood out as completely out of character to have been included in the "In Through the Outdoor" collection. I'm reminded of some of the words of George Burns, he once said, "never let a little thing like the truth, stand in the way of a good story." Now in case you think quoting that is inconsistent with my declaration of authenticity (you would be correct, yes taken literally it would be) so I take "poetic" license with the statement and come up with "never let a little thing called brevity/word economy, stand in the way of good story!
As it turns out, I'm on a first and (last name basis) with the editor of this blog, and he gives me a pretty extensive leash. Here's hoping I never hang myself with it!
Blessings!!
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