Soul-based Tourism

In what some metaphoric references might deem the mid to late summer, maybe the early fall of my life, I have been inspired to bring more creative expression through and into the world.  At the present that takes the form of writing and singing. Whether the metaphor is apt or not is anybody's guess, could just as easily be "over" later today for all I know; which I suppose then would be deemed the rapid onset of "winter."

Nothing unusual about someone embracing different latent talents or discovering new passions "later" in life. In fact I suppose closer to the truth, is that there is no "right time." Some are aware of their talents/interests early in their life and both pour themselves into development and are encouraged to do so.  Others may not receive any such encouragement, perhaps instead have been subject to controlling influences that directed their "vocation." Also possibly they have spent a significant time distracted by indulging the layers of patterning that set them on a trajectory; that kept them plying the waters of the familiar shoreline, rather than embarking on the vast unknown of the open sea.

So far I have only referenced creative pursuits that fall into what are commonly known as the "arts" (which of course can be the vehicle for endless creative expression). Creativity is by no means restricted to these performance and visual arts. Creativity can be actively engaged in any facet of living.

It has occurred to me lately that through the ongoing pursuit of my chosen mediums I am continuing to search for my voice. Which is to say I am seeking the voice of my soul. In part the selection of the mediums might represent "soul choices" however I believe it just as accurate to say a pathway to my soul is being provided through the mediums which is facilitating further development but is not reliant on those mediums. As such, I don't know for sure that I will continue these forms of expression indefinitely. I don't see this as a pre-mediated copout. I literally don't know.  It's more a case of knowing I'm committed to the further realizing of my soul, but I acknowledge that might take different "forms" along the way.

Frankly, if I was going to quit because the going presented some bumps in the road or allowed myself to succumb to the expectation of immediate gratification I would have bailed long ago! The thing is, soul development can and does take place; though simultaneous with earthly/material pursuits, the outward appearance might belie the inward journey, so that the latter is not dependent on the former.

Whether through singing or writing as the "vehicle,"a ripening takes place over time that is part of my personal maturation. This process certainly could be accessed through other means, each need only go where they feel drawn and use what they discover about themselves along the way as further catalyst. It's not necessarily through "activity" that such evolution occurs - there are countless stories of those that have undergone profound transformation while themselves infirm; perhaps for a long term period of time when they were the most "in-active" they had ever been.

These soul-directed directions might well "defy" ones own "logic and reason" at least I have experienced this to be the case. There certainly isn't a neon sign outlining the outcomes whenever I feel "nudged" to be, say or do. And to be clear one should forget about applause in any form for such choices, at any given time your decision to follow your heart might well ruffle the feathers of those closest to you or have even more widespread implications.

I'm not sure that it would be accurate to say I'm being guided by "morals" in fact, I believe the "framework" as such must go. There are endless examples of group consciousness that are said to be acting from some moral high ground that have committed all forms of atrocities. If "the law of the land" were to be the benchmark, the likes of Schindler, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, Gandhi (and innumerable others) would have sat idly by while the "powers that be" called the shots.

Things begin to move and shake outside that which is already established (familiar) I believe that can be said to be true "without" and "within." Which begins to point to why the gatekeeper known as the mind keeps trying to run interference as one (certainly myself) begins to trace the wispy threads previously lying dormant as the seeds of potential. The stirring may be just barely perceptible at first and may present as implausible, maybe indefinitely; if trust and faith aren't exercised as well. I would suggest that a significant power is at play here. Consider the immense force at work when a seed germinates below the surface of an asphalt or concrete surface. So much so that even though there is no perceivable tremor or "explosion," just the same, when the time is right, this life form erupts through what might have been thought to be an impenetrable surface!

There is so.... so, much I don't know or understand; in this moment that doesn't present as any particular threat! This same lack of knowing applies to myself as well. Given this, I can't assume to be able to express in absolutes. A recent perceptual experience demonstrated to me an example of deeper awareness on my part of what was going on, right in my midst.  A month or so ago I got another piercing in my ear lobe. As part of the post-procedure care I was instructed to soak my ear in warm water and sea salt twice per day. When I rested my head on the bowl of water to allow my ear to submerse, suddenly I was aware of a variety of others sounds that weren't "audible" to me otherwise. I suppose the sound waves were transferred to the water where I then could "hear" them in some fashion. I suddenly realized (in part) the gravity of various military testing of explosives and the impact that would have on dolphins and whales (for whom hearing is exponentially more sensitive) - I do digress.

It also immediately occurred to me - just how much is going on "beyond my perception" I may never know, but I would suggest it is astronomical to say the least. How can anyone ever be "bored" when there lies in wait so much to be explored, discovered and experienced? I don't think it's actually possible - unless one mistakenly holds to be true they've "been there, done that" UNIVERSALLY!

I suppose the road to discovery must begin through the familiar. Some of those "discoveries" may well come as a result of an "accidental" departure while traversing the familiar. While it can be great to take on newness in different areas of ones life - it might well be equally profound to explore that which still remains unseen within the familiar.  A mindset can be a severely limiting lens.

I read the intro page of a book that is someone's presentation on the writing of poems. It suggested that it is not necessary (or desirable) to repeat what has already been said. In order to "break new ground" one then, was advised to read that which exists in order to know when a new form or observation was being expressed. (or at least read the complete works of someone). Either seems rather daunting to me - however I see what they are driving at.

I certainly enjoy reading so some attention to the works of others will no doubt be inspiring. I suspect though that my truth and authentic soul voice will be attained as with the story of the creation of Michelangelo's "David" - by chipping away all that is not me!

A "Hero's" Welcome

Tina Turner once sang "We don't need another hero" if considered along with the line from the Hopi prophecy: "We are the one's we've been waiting for;" perhaps this is two ways of saying the same thing.

I'm not saying that under certain circumstances I might not "intervene" if someone was in a dangerous situation - I am say that living up to someone else's expectation that I am their "white knight" (or living that idea from shadows of my persona, is exhausting and therefore undesirable). There is certainly value in helping others in times of need as well as each at times, extricating themselves.

To me there is a difference between finding inspiration in the work of, or in how, different individuals are showing up in the world and thinking that knowing them, quoting them, referencing them is going to somehow put my life on a better footing.

Tina's lyrics then are suggesting, waiting for a hero to swoop in and rectify my life (or situations within my community or upon the world stage) could be disappointing to say the least not to mention a colossal waste of time.

To avoid contradicting myself, I acknowledge of have already made references to two other "bodies of work." In my writing I like to play with what others have written or said to further express an idea I am trying to get across. I name them directly, to give them credit for what was said - it is not to be construed as an attempt at "name dropping" on my part. I'm clear - I'm not trying to ride on anyone's coat-tails; so quotes, references etc. I access from a wide variety of sources. On the other hand, interpretation I source from either my own imagination or direct life experience (and I generally specify either way).

Without question time spent with various teachers, schools of thought etc. can all be influential. It is not meant as a slight when I suggest that no matter the caliber of the teaching, how I assimilate it and make it "my own" will shape how I show up in my life and by extension in the world. So I'm not proclaiming complete "independence" but there is disconnect with regard to personal responsibility if ongoing, I'm looking beyond myself for this act of heroism to take place in my life.

I endeavour to avoid or at least actively seek and root out, absolutism and dogmatic thinking of my own; and strive to keep stretching myself develop the best version of myself. One doesn't have to look far to see that many lay claim to following the tenets of one belief system or another, without the heart of the matter coming into play.

No one can live the transformational requirements of any teaching for me. No matter what the world acclaim, mastery, their gifts and talents or the accomplishments of those that have comprised my "education;"  what I do with the raw materials of their teaching, is part of my on-going expansion and accountability. To cast them as the hero of my successes or the villain of my failures, serves neither them nor myself.

I know that incrementally and progressively showing up more and more consistently in my authenticity has a powerful and profound effect on my life. This has the effect of bringing a hero/champion into the arena of my own life. It's a process transitioning to a more stable presentation of expansion. Along the way, at least for me, it can seem as though I hover between (in the immortal words of Charlie Brown) being "the hero or the goat." The thing is if I identify that I'm not being particularly skillful in some area of my life, then that is my work to resolve.

I guess looking for a hero is a bit like the flip side of scapegoating - for me the personal accountability piece is missing. I have no Hopi (or as far as I know - which must be taken with a significant grain of salt, any other First Nations ancestry) however for that particular idea (which resonates for me as truth) I have not come across it said a more effective way.  It is a beautiful empowering, liberating idea with which to infuse my ongoing growth. I happen to believe the truth of it for anyone living the human condition (not just those of Hopi ancestry). So again, I quote the source of where I understand it to have come from - I don't automatically hoist all those of Hopi ancestry onto a pedestal. There would be those that are struggling to embody that teaching among them just as there are untold numbers of "Christians" seemingly ignoring the teachings of Yeshua (Jesus).

I can't speak for anyone else's life experience but I know for me I have been tyrant, judge, jury and executioner toward myself at different times in my life.

Now, it is time (in a healthy and balanced way) to hoist myself on my own shoulders and bid a welcome home to the hero in exile.

Give Me Eyes that I Might See

To witness one beaten down
Presents a cross-road
What then is called for?
A time to cast judgment?
(citing poor choices)
Or perhaps - to offer a ray of hope
Upon an otherwise dismal horizon

Self-love cannot be bestowed on another
However to share what you have
Well may momentarily reduce the sting of self-hatred
Change occurs in split seconds
Where time doesn't exist
Hope shines the way
To allow the next minute

What can possibly be gained
By one who has so much
Choosing to further punish
Rather than offer
The buoyancy of hope
Upon the sea of despair

Perhaps oddly
Described here within
Is not charity
Rather then, imperative
For survival and thriving both

MINE

"Amazing" Grace

Today I'm going to attempt to spin a tale of grace. When I say "attempt" I personally felt the presence of grace weaving throughout my day today - however, to then claim to be able to specifically describe it and or define it; well, that is beyond my scope.

I started the morning considering that I would spend sometime performing in the streets this day. To prepare I decided today would be the day I restrung my guitar. I had been playing it the last number of times out with a mixed bag of strings; some remained from the last time I restrung it, others were a mixture of strings that had been used and then saved as spares, for if and when, I broke strings. This meant they were possibly from different string sets - they sounded ok, though some frequently went out of tune. I had two brand new packages of strings which I purchased about two weeks ago.  The only thing that stood between allowing myself to enjoy the brilliance of new strings was essentially myself; in the form of a story that, I don't have the time to sit and change them. (even though it probably took all of ten or fifteen minutes this morning to do it!)

As I rode the bus into town I pondered potential performance locations. I was getting into town a little later, so I anticipated that a couple of the spots I frequently play, would already be occupied. Sure enough as I came to the library courtyard and there was a fellow playing his banjo. I have chatted with him a few times as I was finishing and he was arriving. I asked him "had he just got started?" He indicated that he'd be there another forty-five minutes if I wanted to come back, make it ten minutes to the hour and he'd give me the spot. I had already decided to try down the stretch of shops that are frequented during "tourist season." I have played there before and hadn't experienced particularly high gratuity rates. That was then - this is now!

I have innumerable performances under my belt since I first wandered with trepidation and my first "busker's license" down that block. I've also been fostering and have experienced, considerable inner transformation - my continuance as a busker might well be more about "the inside job" than anything else. On this occasion I wanted to "play" (pun intended) with holding the energy of love while I played. After the first few songs - the money began to flow. In the mix was a couple of American dollar bills (always a fun part of busking as more tourists fill the streets). I look forward to another journey to Maui one day, so I put all the U.S. money aside for spending money. I'll likely busk when I get back there too.

After I had been playing for awhile and had already easily been tipped more than I ever had down there - a young girl stood outside the ice cream shop adjacent to where I was set up. I saw her unzip a little change purse and she came over and place another U.S. bill in my case. I thanked her as was playing, which is my habitual practice. The bill she place was all scrunched up so I couldn't see what it was; but presumed it was a one dollar bill. When she returned to her father I could see they exchanged words and though I couldn't hear what was being said, the facial expression and body language spoke volumes - he wasn't happy! They walked off and after I finished the song I was playing I checked the bill she had placed down - it was a U.S. twenty dollar bill!  I had received twenty dollars from one person on a couple of other occasions, but it's not the "norm." I thought - what a beautiful generous gesture on the part of this young girl (while at the same time gained some insight into her father's scornful expression).  I was marvelling in the "effect" of energy etc. Shortly there after the two of them returned - they both sheepishly echoed the same (likely pre-agreed upon story) she had "mistakenly" given a twenty dollar bill. She was all apologetic, I thanked her again and told her she was a very generous person, while I bent over and fished her money out. They gave me a couple of U.S. ones and a handful of change and went on their way, as I wished them a happy Easter.

I pondered whether the "event" had any reflective value for me? Was there any unconscious "worth" energy within, that might have caused me to balk at receiving "so much money" all at once?  (therefore I experienced first hand, money manifesting and disappearing). I just kept right on performing; quite satisfied that I allowed the two folks on their vacation a positive experience and didn't allow the circumstance, to sully my good time. Within the singing of a couple more songs, they came back and put another Canadian five dollar bill in my case for which I thanked them and sent them on their way with more weekend blessings. (I was certainly receiving plenty!!)

The upshot of my time down on "Government Street" was the highest return I've had down there. The insight and self-awareness on top of that - priceless!

I decided to head back toward the library - I figured if it was available I'd play a short set there (and use the washroom). On my way there I crossed paths with another fellow that "busks" (native american flutes) he stopped briefly and asked if I was going to the library - when I replied I thought I'd check it out - he said, "I just left there it was pretty slow!"

I arrived there - no one "on stage" - went in, used the facilities; came back out - still my oyster!
I played for about forty-five minutes and got another sixteen dollars in return. Just for perspective, I have made more or less that amount at the same place playing for two hours - I've also made twice that - also in two hours. To have made that much for such a short set is a first - I also was given the gift of a couple different people reflecting to me both; that songs I had selected were particularly moving to them, and was thanked for performing them so beautifully!

I'm sure "grace" could be described/defined in ways infinitely more complex - today to me, it looks and feels as I have duly noted here.

Walk On!

Could it be, stone rolled away - while the carpenter was risen
Symbolized oppressive ideas - that keep hearts locked in prison?
A soul trains eyes through the darkness - in order to see
That the invisible prison of habit - taunts - you'll surely not, be free

May your thoughts never -
become so grey
That you frame in darkness - the dawn of the day
Life longs to create - a dazzling Spring display
From within fertility - of your heart's clay.

It may seem safer to cling - to the familiar edge
Urged beyond the known - there lies, life's whispered pledge
Defy must know sown - answer's limits
Instead jump into mystery - enlivened soul, more freely permits

Never too late - shed air and light - on heart's room
Invite a new view - beyond that cold dank tomb
Held in our very being - the power of nature's fission
Making possible - a resurrection, vision.

Who is That Red-faced Lunatic? (hmm.. how 'bout that it was me!)

Without question from various places and times there are bound to be people that might consider me a "talking head;" of course there are other scenarios where I have been with a group of people all engaged in a conversation and after my analysis of what has been presented and then believing I have the perfect contributory comment, the conversation changes; the result being, I remain silent.

My understanding of the term "talking head" is that it is usually reserved for pundits for whom there is a broad range of focus, which includes politics.

I make a concerted effort to not employ "labels" - having said that if one were to be chosen to give some idea where I'm concerned, I suppose it might be something like "generalist." It would follow then with regard to politics as a whole,  I'm neither a pundit or a talking head. Just the same, today, I'm pondering something that falls within the realm of politics, though it could be framed any number of other ways.

Given the upcoming election in the United States even someone like myself that is without cable and doesn't comb the daily mainstream newspapers, nor tune in to radio broadcasts can't help but become privy to some of what is going on down there.

So, how is it that a candidate that seemingly few gave any credibility as far as "going the distance," others quipped that it was likely a joke to make a point, that has unapologetically been outspoken and embodied all things "negative," if not totally offensive (except that it is not having what might be expected as the result of such belligerence) he has not withdrawn, nor been asked to withdraw - quite the opposite, he seems to been gaining huge momentum; to the point where many are suggesting he may well be the forerunner to become the leader, of one of the two parties that actually put their candidate in the Whitehouse. I speak of course of Donald Trump.

I'm not going to spend anytime analyzing him or attacking his character - my only curiosity is, how is this possible?

Nothing is black and white, knowing this I don't wish to over-simplify, but neither is the scope of this post intended to be comprehensive enough as to cover all considerations. I believe that part of the answer lies in that there are enough people with similar consciousness, they may well never be as overt in it's expression, but just the same Trump has plenty of money which gives him a certain amount of leverage, but he wouldn't continue to rise through the preliminary electoral processes without a significant number of people that are throwing their support behind him.

Fear, ignorance and a completely lack of empathy for those that represent "them" to those that rise to power by harnessing the collective mistaken beliefs of the masses (us), is not without plenty of historical precedence. So even though he advocates all kinds of violence to uphold his "vision" and he has not been run aground by his racism etc.  he is not just a lone voice in the wilderness, he represents the unexpressed rage, pain, and wounds of countless others - is presenting himself as the salve for all those individuals with festering and toxic internal worlds, who view him as some sort of messiah.

So whether he is successful at getting into office remains to be seem, meanwhile each can look at him as a mirror and ask him or herself in what ways do his ways of being, represent my own unhealed wounds, unconscious fears and limiting mistaken beliefs. If convinced there exists none of "his" more objectionable qualities what does he trigger in you - that you are ignoring and putting the blame back on him.

It's generally considered that due to widespread apathy on the part of the electorate only a small percentage of those eligible to vote actually do so. Maybe individuals like Trump come along to shake people out of their complacency.

One doesn't have to look far to see violence and intolerance playing out on "main-street" where ever your home town is. I was standing on a street corner yesterday playing guitar and singing. It happens it is a four way stop with a fifth street converging just to further make it interesting.  Due in part to widespread confusion to who actually has the right of way; being a "fly on the wall" at that intersection allows the witnessing of many a near miss, horns blaring and tempers flaring. I watched as I sang as individuals squared off across from each other after these various vehicular faux pas and continued to scream obscenities at each other and flipping each other the bird; fortunately stopping short of actually turning their vehicles into a further offensive weapon. How many of these people (Canadians) would be quick to point out the violent nature of those that reside south of the border with their "right to bear arms," completely oblivious to their red-faced intersection tirades.

The comedian "Flip Wilson" used to quip : "the devil made me do it." Though his antics and portrayal of "Geraldine" were amusing, the idea that some other being, entity or person, is responsible for my behaviour is scapegoating at best and a dangerous psychological slight of hand at worst.

I personally have no power to "change" Donald Trump - individually each can only change themselves.  I'm thinking that someone like Trump will stop presenting and making waves when enough people say no that is not okay - this is what we want. Then again - maybe once he's come and gone there will be someone else with a similar or even worse world view; whose presence will provide enough contrasting energy that a more inspiring leader will be spawned.

 After all, doesn't each become more clear about what they want after experiencing enough of what they don't want. Perhaps enough motivation for each, to polish there own stone.

Nature a Class all It's Own

Instead of fixation on logic and reasons
Consider the wisdom taught, throughout the seasons
Within the ice and snow - of Winter's dark
Lies Spring's majesty and beauty, in an unseen spark

Summer's growth and harvest - stage an Autumn's show
Bite of air and swirling vortices blow
Half a year spent coaxing foliage to grow
On cue - no mourning - let them go

Winter's barren stillness - likened to a - maudlin tomb
For some - seasonal centered - pending doom
Expansive thinking - eyes of heart - make room
Pageantry being embraced - in nature's womb

Gratification demands now - don't wait
Ignoring an incremental intelligence steeped - incubate
Ageism and marketing preach -you've lost, too late
Source fed soul renounces - the best before - date

Misrepresented is the phrase "when nature calls"
Won't hear it in - neon addling malls
Put on a coat - step from within - four walls
Hear the rhythm - feel the kiss - of rain - as it falls

Each season is an artistic scene
No isolated event - power held in between
Revere Mother Nature - the loving queen
Listen to the man of the forest - his blood runs green

If you laugh and think this just a charming tale
Unchained hearts can read nature - like hands on braille
No need for wifi - to receive her mail
You may just discover - your long lost grail