Class is in Session (Always & in All Ways)

Over a period of four or five days I have been intermittently looking for an article that I vaguely remember breezed past my attention and was relegated to the, I'll save that and get back to it category. The challenge for me, is that I read a little something here and a piece of something else somewhere else; there is all kinds of stuff coming in my email box constantly, and then I don't always remember where I saw something, in order to refer to it another time.

The article as far as I remember it, had as it's focus (according to the title) seeing/treating everything, that happens throughout the day, as opportunity for personal awareness/growth. Before beginning to write this post I spent time looking through "saved" emails, with no sign of this article. Who knows where I saw it?

Here's a couple possibilities that at this point, I will allow to serve as conclusions:

1) I never did "see" this "article - perhaps it was a flash of inspiration that I was meant to develop into my own article.

2) There may be valuable time lost looking through, managing, or in all ways, contending with email; time that could be spent focused on possibility #1.

Having said that I will take a stab at doing just that. Just as I was writing that, an incoming email notification flashed across the screen. I get it Universe, the "incoming" content for my work will not come via wifi and someone else's perspective - I am paying attention.

I consider the metaphor of being a branch of the one great tree. I am now realizing that I can confuse that, with the belief that I need to continually be "researching" the work of others, in order to inform my expression.  There is some value in availing myself to the ideas of others. Too much time doing so, takes away from time spent deepening my own connection to source, diversifying my experiences and mining them for my own expression.

So then, what of this idea that everything throughout the day can represent the "arena" for all aspects of ones being?

I guess I wouldn't have much to write about regarding this if I was to claim - "that's preposterous, no it does not!" So to begin with, yes, I hold this to be true.

Does that mean that one must painstakingly apply a hyper vigilant eye to everything that unfolds throughout the entire day? I would suggest that the process can be devoid of "pain-staking" which would help to eliminate such things as negative self-criticism/judgement. It could also prove effective to see become aware how frequently these self-admonishments come into play. It's up to the beholder to decide what they are looking to, become their focus. As much as possible I would suggest that this be a gentle assessment; too much harshness directed toward myself, is apt to chase "me" back into hiding or maybe even convince me, that the "process" should be abandoned.

I would hold as one of my objectives the ability to take increasingly, greater responsibility for "my part." If I'm looking to continue on a trajectory of personal development, then an ongoing critique of what the other guy did wrong, doesn't serve this purpose. For me, a "breakthrough" realization was, that in all situations where I experience mild, moderate or extreme irritation; an interaction went poorly, or I am "disappointed" in an outcome - a common denominator is that, I was there!

This might seem painfully obvious. I make the distinction that in all situations if I come away ranting, seething with self-righteousness, looking to find innumerable allies; in the form of anyone that will listen to my story (and of course vindicate me) then I have not yet, brought the lens upon myself.  In this my only acknowledgement of my presence in the situation is that of victim.

The only one I have the power to change is me - I can't change me, complaining about you! This would hold to apply, no matter whom or what, "You" is.

I'm not advocating the personification of "doormat." I'm not suggesting that an authentic expression of anger might not be called for in response to a present moment situation. Given these same scenario's it would be useful for me to know what is behind my "anger" and am I just looking for indiscriminate places to "dump" my anger?

 If I take an "oh well, there's nothing I can do, I'm only one person" stance; how is it that I'm so quick to dismiss the impact of my contribution?

These couple examples are not meant to be projected specifically on the reader (you decide, "if the shoe fits .. wear it.") they are just illustrations that I have gleaned from some of my own self-awareness.

A current scenario for my consideration lies in the events that unfolded earlier today. I had determined that I would bring my guitar into town this morning. I was meeting a friend for coffee early and thought, afterward I will get a jump on some of the "busking spots." I wasn't entirely sure that I was up for singing today, but reasoned I would keep the option open. I sang yesterday a couple of different times, and it also occurred to me that my voice might benefit from a rest today.

I should add that on the way into town my prayers went something like this: "How can I best serve today?" "I'm not sure of the best outcome today, so Great Spirit I will leave that up to you."

After coffee I was able to carry on downtown and set up to play in the library courtyard. After the first couple songs I could tell my voice was a little tired, there were some notes that I couldn't hit without my voice cracking. I just "worked" around it. I hadn't been there very long, before one of the security guards from within the "ministry" office building, was coming across the courtyard. He informed me, that he had received a call from "upstairs" in the form of a disturbance concern, therefore, I would need to "move on."

I muttered something about "I don't complain about the inane "work" being performed by the government employees, while I'm trying to sing." Not cool, and certainly doesn't reflect my morning affirmative prayer. How could I begin to discover how I might best serve, if at the first bend in the river I'm now swimming against the current?

I packed up and left and while I explored alternative "busking locations" I "re-prayed" - I choose not to carry "this" for the rest of the day, I ask for a do-over beginning immediately. If there is anything else I'm to realize through this experience - please show it to me as the day unfolds."

I walked down to the "tourist" district where I discovered by this time - there were already others, plying their craft. Hmm.. maybe "how I might best serve" has nothing to do with my agenda to sing today?"

I decided to browse through one of my favourite stores down there, "Out of Ireland." Considering my ancestry just the name of the shop is a pleasing affirmation. As I was wandering in the store, one of the employees struck up a conversation. She asked me about busking, having observed my carrying a guitar. I indicated that I had briefly been doing so and had been drawn to my "favourite store." A discussion around licensing led to her sharing her experience of getting her "first bus pass;" upon arriving in town only one month ago. Though she purchased it mid-month she had not been informed that it was only good until the end of the current month (not a pass that covered her for a month from date of purchase) and still she was charged the full amount. Of course, come the beginning of the next month, there was the need to outlay another eighty-five dollars, for another pass.

Taking the time to witness and validate her frustration was appreciated and it took me out of my own frustration. Maybe this had something to do with how I was to "serve" today. I wouldn't have been there for that interaction, if I continued down the path of my own agenda.

I continued to roam around the store - it was like a portal with visual reminders and a trigger of fond memories of my previous travels in Ireland. At the same time, a source of inspiration for my envisioned return there later this year.

Regarding my earlier busking experience - I began to "consider" having mirrored for me a further consideration regarding "authority" and relinquishing my power v.s. standing in it (which doesn't have to look like my defying him and continuing to play).

How was I attempting to "push the river?"

Was I letting fears of "financial insecurity" influence my belief that I "must" busk today? (Yes)

Were my own insecurities commandeering the bus? (Yes)

Did I take his asking me to leave as a rejection of me and take it personally? (Yes)

Did I ask through prayer on the one hand - "how can I serve" and then take control and decide how that was going to look? (Yes)

Was I experiencing a heightened degree of "stress," because I had withdrawn my trust and alignment with a loving source; that supports that everything will work out for me? (Yes)

Did I have the opportunity to experience within myself, how I feel when I am "out of alignment" and an invitation, to reestablish my connection with this source? (Yes)

Did I experience first hand the restoration of inner peace once I chose to take care of my connection? (Yes)

Did I get the "real-time" verification that the maintenance of my inner peace has nothing to do with what is going on outside of myself, that it is my responsibility (not that of someone else) and is not contingent on my "goals and agendas?"  (Yes)

So much to learn from a "random occurrence" from a day in the life!

I found a couple of gifts "Out of Ireland" to bestow upon myself, that will serve as visual affirmations and inspirations for "Return to Ireland - Call of the Ancestors" (Part Deux)

Here I was intent on "making money" while having others listen to me sing and it turns out, I was supposed to listen to someone else and spend some money.