Today's dalliance with written expression, commences with a focus on the continuing journey with writing. Writing for writing sake. If you have read any of my writing, then it should come as no surprise, that I would turn writing in upon itself. I suppose you could say "I'm down" with going in. While there is plenty to see and express residing in full view; for me the delight, the intrigue, the adventure, resides below the surface, and it unfolds as infinitely inward, as the universe expands outward. A different appreciation of the "inside looking out" can alter the view outside.
For quite sometime there has been a book project of mine unfolding quietly; albeit not entirely invisibly. The "story" features a forty day practice of the "care" of and then the walking, of a labyrinth. The practice itself lends to introspection - so not surprising I met myself in many guises along the way. Holding to the practice, writing the daily insights and/or the illuminating the resistances and hurdles; was a continual process, of examining how my inside world, was manifesting upon the outside world. Sometimes showing up and walking the labyrinth was the challenge. Other times upholding the discipline of the daily writing presented with ease. On other occasions, unforeseen obstacles that lurked beneath the surface required clearing or subduing; in order to ensure the commitment was sustained.
Along the way.... all variety of life happenstances presented that weren't necessarily just cause to abandon the project, but they could have been. One computer was stolen, another succumbed to entropy and ultimately, its rather premature demise. Despite all this or perhaps regardless (maybe even, because of) the beat went on.
Today marks the day that after various rewrites and the once revised (after some professional "coaching") manuscript, was sent off to be professionally edited and proof-read. I woke up to find a email from the person that was to provide that service in my inbox. The early April window we had discussed a couple of months ago, was now upon us.
I have been anticipating this contact .. in fact once I got beyond April Fool's Day relatively unscathed, I had in mind; to wait a few days and if I didn't hear, to take it upon myself to see where things were at. I had hoped to have entered into this next phase before I took off traveling again (which is in less than two weeks). Although everything is happening back and forth online; it just seemed to me, I'd like to have that process underway before I left.
Of course part of initiated the service and the process was the matter of the fees for service. We hadn't discussed the "bottom-line" previously; therefore it was made very real upon submitting the manuscript and then receiving the invoice. I suppose it's all a matter of perspective, however, given this sum was a significant amount of money you might say this was another "moment of truth." In this instance I would suggest in order for "dreams to come true" there will come a time, when one must decide whether they are prepared, to "put some serious skin in the game." Is my dream of becoming a published author worth it? The time, the energy etc. that has been invested so far what was that about? Are the people that I sincerely hope will be inspired by the journey that led to the creation of the book chronicling the journey worth it? And last but in no way, shape or form least; am I worth this additional "investment?
Apparently the answer to all these questions is YES! Barely batted an eye. In this day and age you can disburse and dispense likely any sum of money with a couple of clicks of the mouse pad... Just like Star Trek .. coordinates set.. energize and bada bing; money is extracted from my bank account and transported to across continent and ocean... Now, if only the rest of me could be shot across the universe that same way... I'd not mourn the absence of the planes, trains and automobiles element of traveling. Of course having spent so much of life ... focusing on "getting it together.." I wouldn't be too happy to have my molecules scattered all over creation .. before their time.
So then, this feels like a significant milestone in what is in truth: process.. within process.. within process... does this rather sizeable investment guarantee anything? I don't suppose in and of itself it does. I've not taken this thing this far... to have it die on the vine!!! It most certainly will go somewhere. The beautiful thing about it is there have been innumerable victories and successes ... there actually can be no failure. So there is nothing to do but continue to see where the path writing is carving in my life is taking me... I'm just along for the ride, largely because I have fingers. This finished work of mine, may not be the 21st century offering, from the good people at Gideon (whomever they might be) - it might not be revolutionary enough that some regime will order it burned - but it's a start! I haven't had a great deal of experience in the participation of creating from nothing. Mostly my involvement has been such, that I show up to something that is already "created" and fill some role in it's continuance. I'm not saying this is not of value. I am saying, having been now in both "camps;" that the latter cannot possibly satiate, the same way and across so many levels of being, as the former.
Given this my first foray into the birthing of a book; I have no idea, what will present next in the process. Maybe just as well, far easier to stay "in the moment" of what's currently necessary, when I don't know what's up next.
I trust the "need to know" provided by the forces that initiated my want to write and inspired this project, will be brought to my awareness at the right and perfect time.
I'm the scribe and I do have creative input - however I'm not the director.
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