Friday, 11 August 2017
Its presence has been palpable for nearly as long as I have had consciousness of myself. Though at first vague and undefined nonetheless the safe direction at most of life’s crossroads had been chosen to avoid an undesirable encounter. The years rolled by and though there had never been a sighting – avoiding this unseen menace was beginning to have a noticeable effect on the shape of my life.
No longer satisfied with the status quo – I began to search, though I had no idea what I was looking for or what I would find. The search began by examining some of the past events of my life – the events themselves didn’t offer a clue but a pattern began to form that outlined its presence. It became clearer that its influence had been in affect for quite some time.
As the pursuit continued the external circumstances of my life reflected it’s continued presence – though as yet unidentified, I was getting closer, and the acrid stench of it’s breath was now in the air.
The search continued aided by the written wisdom of masters of the ages and by the continued aid of spirit guides whom when asked, were willing to illuminate the path and bolster my courage to continue the inquiry.
Before long the trail became warm – footprints became visible, as did mile upon mile of mounds of my partially digested dreams. For years I had fed them to the beast allowing it to grow stronger its force invisible yet its effect was consistently devastating. Small battles had been waged and won along the path albeit those engaged, were merely minions of the foe that lay in wait, nevertheless each in it’s own way tempered the sword and honed the hand that would wield it.
My quarry preferred a weakened opponent, illusions presented along the path designed to distract and dispirit, all were rendered hollow and cast aside when subject to the truth.
A confrontation was now imminent and unavoidable for there was no turning back, to do so would be to grasp at the threads of ignorance that remained of the cloak of my denial.
I rounded the next corner and stopped immediately in my tracks for there piercing through the darkness were its phosphorescent green eyes, the glow of the fire burning deep within the beast cast a light upon its fangs from which hung thick cords of bile.
This was it, I was face to face with my lifetime nemesis. I summoned the help of all those that had led me to this moment – despite the sincerity of my plea and the gravity of the situation I looked around only to realize I was very much alone.
Even if I had wanted to turn back it was now too late, the eyes of the great beast were focused upon me and it turned to face me – it long serpentine tail swinging menacingly – the fire from within now visible through it’s nostrils.
It threw back its head let forth an ear-shattering roar and the ground shook as its thundering footfalls carried it rapidly in my direction. I uttered one last plea to my God – “why have you left me alone when I need you the most?” As I prepared for what I was sure was my end – a voice from deep within said, “all is well – you are not alone nor have you ever been – though there is no one but you that can defeat this beast as it of your creation.”
Not feeling particularly reassured I stood my ground braced myself, raised the sword high over my head, closed my eyes and swung with ever ounce of strength I could muster harnessing the power of every muscle fiber from head to toe just as the beast’s assault was about to bring it upon me.
The sound of the blade striking the stone path rang out and echoed throughout the caverns. The force of the swing had thrown me off balance and landed me on the ground inches from where I stood. I opened my eyes expecting in the next second to be devoured but as I looked around I realized there was nothing there but me.
I sat dazed as I considered what had occurred – for a lifetime this nebulous form had dogged my every step. I tracked it – found it and saw it to be that which surely would be my end and yet once confronted I found it never to have existed.
As I pondered my newly found skills that included creator, defender, truth-seeker, and freedom fighter the mind reeled at what was possible.
Rob O'Neill ( August 2017)